Went for a drink with girls I didn’t know but I have a gf. is this cheating? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Bit of a long story but I was recently on a night out with work and me and a co-worker got chatting with some girls in a bar. It was mostly instigated by my co-worker but I went a long with it as it was purely just chatting and wasn’t flirtatious in any way.

Skip ahead a few hours and we all got up to leave and my co-worker was kind of pushing for everyone to go for a drink together. We left the bar and my co-worker disappeared so I ended up going for a drink with these two girls on my own. I didn’t see any harm in it at the time as it wasn’t flirtatious and didn’t get that vibe from these girls either. So we found a new bar and one of the girls bought me a drink.

We just chatted for a bit and then a friend of the girls turned up and I finished my drink and left because I was starting to feel like a spare part.

Thing is I am in a happy relationship but we currently live apart due to work and in my hungover state I started feeling horrible for going for a drink with these girls. Naturally I turned to the internet for guidance and to hopefully put my mind at ease. So does anyone feel that the above is unfaithful to my girlfriend?
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Anonymous #2
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i don't think so
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maddyjm02
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nah it’s fine
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sinfonietta
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No, it's not cheating.
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Dunnig Kruger
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Nope it's not cheating at all.

If the tables were reversed, I'd be totally happy if my girlfriend went for a drink and a flirtatious chat with some men she'd only just met on a works night out. And I hope that you would too?

I'd also be fine if she kissed one or more of them.

If she'd jumped into bed with one of them then it'd be time to seriously re-evaluate our relationship.

This New Testament thing of it being cheating if you so much as look at another person with desire doesn't apply in my book. It's up to you if it applies in your book or not.
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Karisa96
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No. That's not classed as cheating , your fine.
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Anonymous #3
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It’s not cheating because you are genuinely worried that it might be which means you care about your girlfriend a lot.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bit of a long story but I was recently on a night out with work and me and a co-worker got chatting with some girls in a bar. It was mostly instigated by my co-worker but I went a long with it as it was purely just chatting and wasn’t flirtatious in any way.

Skip ahead a few hours and we all got up to leave and my co-worker was kind of pushing for everyone to go for a drink together. We left the bar and my co-worker disappeared so I ended up going for a drink with these two girls on my own. I didn’t see any harm in it at the time as it wasn’t flirtatious and didn’t get that vibe from these girls either. So we found a new bar and one of the girls bought me a drink.

We just chatted for a bit and then a friend of the girls turned up and I finished my drink and left because I was starting to feel like a spare part.

Thing is I am in a happy relationship but we currently live apart due to work and in my hungover state I started feeling horrible for going for a drink with these girls. Naturally I turned to the internet for guidance and to hopefully put my mind at ease. So does anyone feel that the above is unfaithful to my girlfriend?
It’s not cheating since you were faithful and uninterested in these girls but your partner may feel a bit jealous or upset about it. The best thing is to be honest with her. Hope this helps (:
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Pigster
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So does anyone feel that the above is unfaithful to my girlfriend?
Don't make a regular thing of it, otherwise people start to make assumptions.

Best tell the missus about it and if she freaks, doubly make sure it doesn't happen again.
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steph0468
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Just depends on what you / your gf thinks is acceptable. Too many people push the liberal ideology of a relationship on others. If she is not okay with it, and you are fine with compromising the it is what it is.

Definitely is not “cheating” though.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for all the responses on this. Should I tell my girlfriend about it?

I’m worried that if I tell her it will escalate and she will jump to conclusions. In my drunken state I forgot to text her to let her know I got home safe so I feel like she could feel something happened. Even though nothing happened and it wasn’t flirtatious I can’t help but feel horrible about it but obviously don’t want to damage the relationship.
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CTLeafez
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Not at all! :')

You're allowed to socialise and make friends with the opposite sex while in a relationship, especially if you're in a group

If it was 1-on-1 drinks with a girl then it could be seen by an outsider as questionable but if it wasn't flirtatious and just friendly then there's no issue.
Last edited by CTLeafez; 2 months ago
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sinfonietta
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for all the responses on this. Should I tell my girlfriend about it?

I’m worried that if I tell her it will escalate and she will jump to conclusions. In my drunken state I forgot to text her to let her know I got home safe so I feel like she could feel something happened. Even though nothing happened and it wasn’t flirtatious I can’t help but feel horrible about it but obviously don’t want to damage the relationship.
I'd say something if I were you. But I tell my partner everything.

eg. I had a guy come back to my hotel room to chat after a party a couple weeks ago. He's 20 years older than me, gay, and married - so of course nothing was going to happen. Still told my boyfriend just for complete transparency.
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_hh.nah
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if you tell her and she does end up jumping to conclusions, try to assure her that nothing happened. To reiterate what CTLeafez said, just because you are in a relationship, doesn't mean you should be shut off from anyone else that is of the opposite sex. It is completely possible to have female friends whilst maintaining a good relationship with your girlfriend. please don't feel bad about yourself because you literally didn't do anything wrong - since it hadn't become flirtatious, that's fine. I hope all is going/goes well :-D
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PizzAzzz
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If it's not flirtatious, and you'd still take your girlfriend over them in a heartbeat (no hesitations :hmmmm:), you're completely fine.

I would be a bit worried if I was a partner, but if you'd be honest and explain how it led to it then I'd be at peace. You have to understand that you can't blame your partner for having a mild concern, it's a natural thing to do in any healthy relationship.
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Ay_Arriba
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If it wasn’t flirty and you were just having a platonic good time, it’s not cheating. You can have other women in your life, so long as it isn’t romantically/sexually.
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ساره
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No
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username2950448
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I'd be totally happy if my girlfriend went for a drink and a flirtatious chat with some men she'd only just met

I'd also be fine if she kissed one or more of them.
This is upsetting.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Palmyra)
This is upsetting.
You are welcome to get upset over anything you want to get upset over.

However I can't see a logical reason why you should get upset over the nature of my relationship with my girlfriend, especially when it's based on trust and tolerance.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I'd also be fine if she kissed one or more of them.
lol I think the line should be drawn a bit before that mate.
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