when does sex stop hurting and feel pleasurable?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#1
hi
well im a girl and i've had sex 3 times now with my partner (i was a virgin before), and even on the 3rd time it still hurt and i bled. i said i wanted to carry on, and i did, and the decision to have sex was always mutual, so no problem there, its just i still cant feel any pleasure, only discomfort.

my partner is very experienced and is really concerned about hurting me, and we try different positions, but nothing really changes. is this normal? how many times did it take before you all started to feel pleasure, stop feeling pain and stop bleeding?!

also, i find it hard to see how a girl is meant to orgasm in sex since the most sensitive part is the clit and this is not stimulated during sex. so how do you orgasm in sex?

thanks, keep anon please, my bf uses the site!!!
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happy watermelon
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#2
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I kind of found sex pleasurable because my boyfriend enjoyed it, not because i did for the first few times.
I am not sure exactly how many times it took before i thought "wow i am REALLY enjoying this". Just keep trying and with practise and stuff you will eventually enjoy it. We have been having sex for nearly 5 months now (since i lost my virginity) and believe me it gets very enjoyable. It just takes a while
And you orgasm cos your G-Spot is stimulated i think.
It's good anyway :p:
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Y'anami!
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#3
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#3
It's normal, it takes about 3 or 4 times.
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emmarainbow
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#4
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#4
Make sure you've got lots of lube and he's careful - if he's experienced, I'm sure he'll be ok with it all and it'll be more fun soon!

If it still hurts in a few months time, go see the dr, but I seriously doubt you have anything to worry about.
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Queen Alice
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#5
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... use lubrication?
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Floria
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#6
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^ the blinking in your BtSSB sig is scary. Having said, a lot of their prints can be scary.

OT: It wont be great for the first few times you have sex, it'll get better.
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suek
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hi
well im a girl and i've had sex 3 times now with my partner (i was a virgin before), and even on the 3rd time it still hurt and i bled. i said i wanted to carry on, and i did, and the decision to have sex was always mutual, so no problem there, its just i still cant feel any pleasure, only discomfort.

my partner is very experienced and is really concerned about hurting me, and we try different positions, but nothing really changes. is this normal? how many times did it take before you all started to feel pleasure, stop feeling pain and stop bleeding?!

also, i find it hard to see how a girl is meant to orgasm in sex since the most sensitive part is the clit and this is not stimulated during sex. so how do you orgasm in sex?

thanks, keep anon please, my bf uses the site!!!
Experienced you say..? He's doing it wrong!! :p: Heh, in seriousness, there are positions to try that can stimulate it more And some girls orgasm from penetration alone anyway.

But my suggestion, for both, is to try with you on top - that way you can determine the pace and everything, plus it's a pretty successful position for a girl's orgasm.
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Queen Alice
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#8
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(Original post by Floria)
^ the blinking in your BtSSB sig is scary. Having said, a lot of their prints can be scary.

OT: It wont be great for the first few times you have sex, it'll get better.
No wai! Its cute ^_^ lol...


Anyways, make sure you are relaxed and it will hurt less. If you are scared about the pain, you will be tense and it will hurt more.
Unless you have a rare medical condition, the pain will soon stop.
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beccaarr
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#9
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The more you practice the better it gets.
It took a few times for me for it not to be painful, and even then I was still abit sore after abit.
If he's experienced, he should understand. Its good that he's not pressuring you, sounds like you'e got yourself a goodun =)
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
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ok well he has used his fingers to stimulate me, but that also seems to make me feel sore.

so do people agree that after about 4 or 5 times it should be better?
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Queen Alice
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ok well he has used his fingers to stimulate me, but that also seems to make me feel sore.

so do people agree that after about 4 or 5 times it should be better?
More like 5/6.

Sorry to be graphic, but ask him to be gentle when he stimulates you :p: Then it wont be sore. He is probs being too rough...
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Anonymous #2
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Definitely ask him to be gentle, and take it slowly. How would you feel about showing him the type/pressure of stimulation you like? Try getting him to lube his finger if that's what he's trying.

Depending on how you feel, you might want to explore your own touch or use of toys, so that you can feel for yourself how and how quickly you loosen up when you start to get aroused.

I realise that may be too much information, but I know that the toy aspect was suggested to a mate when they were having issues....as then you can at least find out for yourself.
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Flying Cookie
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#13
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#13
Sex is not supposed to hurt. End of. I'm sick and tired of hearing people say that it's normal. If it hurts, you're not doing it right. Simple as.

You might need more lube, do it slowly and then speed up consistently, but most importantly, do not try to just have an orgasm for the sake of it... it will most likely stress you and put more pressure on the act. The main goal is to enjoy it as you go. There's nothing to rush for, just take it easy and enjoy the moment.
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diamondsky99
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#14
Report 11 years ago
#14
(Original post by Flying Cookie)
If it hurts, you're not doing it right.
Ok, after the hymen is broken etc. But, if the hymen's not broken, and is therefore torn during sex it probably will hurt a bit, regardless of how slow, how mentally prepared you are and how much lubrication is used.
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Flying Cookie
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#15
Report 11 years ago
#15
(Original post by diamondsky99)
Ok, after the hymen is broken etc. But, if the hymen's not broken, and is therefore torn during sex it probably will hurt a bit, regardless of how slow, how mentally prepared you are and how much lubrication is used.
Yes but it shouldn't take 4 attempts to brake it :confused: That just prolongs the pain.
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Floofy
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#16
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#16
I don't think painful sex is normal... ever. ¬_¬
Unless its the very first initial 20 seconds or whatever.

Just lube it up next time.
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truthandtragedy
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#17
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#17
Depends on the person. Just fake it until it gets better.
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liss31d
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#18
Report 11 years ago
#18
Pain when you start having sex is normal. The ones who don't get pain are the lucky ones I suppose. Also it can stop hurting as early as after the first time or as late as months depending on the individual person. It took me about 5 to 6 times before it stopped hurting and started to feel more enjoyable. Tell your BF to be very gentle with you and gradually things will improve
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Anonymous #3
#19
Report 9 years ago
#19
i also have a similar problem. im 17 and have had sex 6 times with my boyfriend. the first time was extreamly painful and reduced me to tears. it was both of our first times and he was very gentle as we knew it would hurt. each time it has hurt the same if not worse. it still hurts and i cant figure why.. can anybody help??
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Anonymous #4
#20
Report 9 years ago
#20
I know this advice has already been said, but I agree lubing up a lot before will help. Also if it hurts once you might become to expect it hurting the next time, so relaxing about it will probably help.

Personally, it never hurt the first few time and i'm pretty sure my hymen wasn't broken beforehand.

But since I have had times infrequently when it has hurt, so I think the majority of girls get this.
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