Can I just forget her already Watch
So 2 years of her being my bestie, I contracted feelings. I knew she didn't recipocate so didn't tell her all the while getting closer and falling deeper and deeper and indulging in the fantasy that she was mine. I know I should have stopped but when she would rest her head on my shoulders or sleep opposite to me when scared, it felt so right. Anyway, I couldn't bear it anymore so I moved back with my parents as I couldn't live with her anymore as we spent every second together and it was torture. So I think she understands why I left and the flowers I sent for her birthday only cements that. Well that was almost 6 months ago and I still think about her constantly. Im ok that she moved on and hope her the very best but can I just forget her already. Its getting exhausting and frankly im getting tired of my Ed Sheeran, James Arthur, Lewis Capaldi playlists.
Why avoid telling people how you feel? what is that about?
Ok. Now i understand. You actually fancied her, didnt tell her and then disappeared , in effect, without telling her! I feel for both of you! She must be in real pain? why didnt you tell her how you felt? she might have wanted to get even closer to you as well?
Because she didn't feel the same. First and foremost I loved her as my best friend and leaving was best for her sake. So I did, but God did it ****ing hurt, walking out knowing I won't ever see her again. But that was 6 months ago, surely I've suffered enough, why can't I just forget her?
I just want to forget her and all the feelings and memories to go with it. Its becoming unbearable and exhausting. Don't know what I did to deserve this. I really tried suppressing those feelings but ultimately failed. If i was to be honest it got to the stage where I couldn't just be friends with her anymore, I just adored her too much. But life goes on and all that crap so why can't I move passed this already?!
So next time with a new person instead if suppressing stuff just break up sooner if the person does not feel the same way. Otherwise it rips your emotions and wastes your time.