Looking for advice please Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
Hi. I had a rough breakup with my ex partner 2 years ago and ever since I've been on edge. I met my new partner just over a year ago and we're great and we both get on so well and have great plans for our future. Now my concern is she currently lives with her ex partner who is her girls dad also... and has never known no different as such for years now, she is struggling to come out of her shell to even tell him about us a couple... never mind getting him to move out and for him to start again. I trust her completely and I know she wants to tell him as we talk about everything on a daily basis. We're not in a situation to be able to say we'll both move as theres 60 miles between us and it's even harder because of the kids in schools ect. What do I do? I want to tell her to just bite the bullet and tell him everything and go from there but the same time i dont want to be the one to break the kids away from there dad and cause one massive fallout between him and my partner. It boils my blood when she mentions him and shes beginning to notice so its putting pressure on us now. Help me please with advice or even options for us both cheers
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Vexper
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#2
Report 2 weeks ago
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It's an incredibly complex situation mate - It's not just about the kids or housing situation but if they're still living together they could be linked up with all sorts of benefits too. Do they still have a joint bank account? When you say ex-partner it's unclear if they've been married or not. I think whatever decision is made needs to come from her and she needs to be not lead into making one - she stands to lose a lot more than you.

However you also need to be realistic and establish if there's a future between you - if you've been together over a year and the ex doesn't know and somehow the kids have never let it slip it sounds a bit odd?
Last edited by Vexper; 2 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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They have no ties at all as far as I'm aware I did ask her once when talking and she said nothing. I honestly dont know how the kids haven't slipped to him their dad, but they are at the age they understand I suppose also. I just cant understand why she keeps me a secret... her family and friends know and there happy to see her finally happy as I've been told by different people. I completely agree that it needs to be her decision and I'll completely back what she decides either way as I love her and the kids to bits
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