What is the point of life? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I'm starting to feel as if life is pointless. Like it's just one mundane cycle - study, get a job, work, die. You build relationships with people, you fall in love; but they all leave eventually, either because of break-ups, fall-outs or death. It's just one continuous cycle of pain & grief. When things go up, they always come down - joy is always followed by pain. I know this post sounds really damn pessimistic & I'm so sorry if this ruins anyone's day. I'm posting this anonymously because I'm utterly embarrassed - I know that there are so many people who have it worse than me, yet I just can't seem to find true happiness. I'm just tired of living & I want to go to sleep forever; but I don't want to die because there's a small part of me that is still optimistic that better times are coming, but mostly because I don't want to hurt my parents, humiliate them or be seen as a "wasted investment." I don't talk about this with many people, because I don't know how to explain why I'm sad to someone when I don't even know the root of the sadness myself. I do speak to the Samaritans online, but I feel like a burden in general. Does anyone have any advice on how to "snap out" of this?
7
reply
Vincent121
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
Hi Anonymous,
It was very brave of you to share what is happening with you. Well done for knowing that you need help and advice. I am not sure this is the best environment to get help but its good that you know its needed. Can I as you if you follow any religious faith?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by Vincent121)
Hi Anonymous,
It was very brave of you to share what is happening with you. Well done for knowing that you need help and advice. I am not sure this is the best environment to get help but its good that you know its needed. Can I as you if you follow any religious faith?
Thank you so much for the reply.
And no, I am not religious at all. I respect all religions & see the virtues in them, but I personally don't follow one. I suppose I'm rather agnostic. I know that having a religion would be good in terms of giving me faith & a reason to keep pushing forward, but I find it hard to believe that a specific higher power exists when there's so much wrong in the world. For example, my loving caring mother (whose a doctor) got cancer when she literally saves other people's lives & follows a healthy lifestyle, whilst there are people out there who chain-smoke & are evil, yet are perfectly healthy. I just don't understand how such unfairness could exist if there was a God. I do think there is something up there though.. Just not sure who or what.
0
reply
Vincent121
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#4
Report 3 weeks ago
#4
I'm sorry to hear about your mum's cancer. Have you spoken to her about how you are feeling? What did she say or what do you think she would say?
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#5
Report 3 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much for the reply.
And no, I am not religious at all. I respect all religions & see the virtues in them, but I personally don't follow one. I suppose I'm rather agnostic. I know that having a religion would be good in terms of giving me faith & a reason to keep pushing forward, but I find it hard to believe that a specific higher power exists when there's so much wrong in the world. For example, my loving caring mother (whose a doctor) got cancer when she literally saves other people's lives & follows a healthy lifestyle, whilst there are people out there who chain-smoke & are evil, yet are perfectly healthy. I just don't understand how such unfairness could exist if there was a God. I do think there is something up there though.. Just not sure who or what.
Perhaps I could help you with that.
With regards to good and evil, we don't have the full picture. E.g. in most mainstream religions, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, children are sinless. So if a child dies they will go straight to heaven. Hence, if a child gets leukemia, yes, outwardly it looks very sad, and we should try to help them (and save them), but if they die, they go to Heaven. 2-3 years of suffering for an eternity of paradise seems like a pretty good bargain. One thing you will notice about children is that they never say 'why me?', they accept their conditions gracefully, which is a sign of their innocence and purity.

And God created this world as a test, and He gave us free will . Free will is a packaged deal (remember this), it comes with its pros and cons, but God gave it to us to do as we please, and when we meet Him, we will answer to Him with what we did with our free will. If it was the case that every time you committed a sin you get punished, then we'd all be in Hell by now, but it is by the mercy of God that we are not. And those who are evil, yes, in this life they may be getting worldly pleasures, but do you think their actions will go unnoticed when they meet God? The same way, God is trying your mother, do you think when your mother meets God, He will not acknowledge the tribulation He put her through, and reward her for her patience? And I know how you feel (my mother died of cancer also. Though her face was glowing after she'd passed away, even though the cancer had drained the colour off her face over a period of 4.5 years).

And every Prophet, and good person found in religious scripture was tried by God in this world, the most pious and upright of characters (i.e. the Prophets) were trialed the most. The point of tribulation is that it develops your character, and helps you see a perspective to life that you otherwise wouldn't have been able to see had you not had these difficulties. E.g. my mother having cancer has allowed me to mature. It taught me wisdom, patience, compassion, and taught me the value of empathy. In her suffering there was a great blessing and eye opener for me, and as an aspiring doctor (currently a medical student), this experience will be of great service to me in helping others. Because when your character develops, your heart becomes purer, and a sound heart is the one that will be able to connect to God. These evil people have diseased hearts, so outwardly they may be living the high life, but inside they are suffering.
So the bottom line is, don't assume you know what is good and what is bad. For what looks good for one person may actually be bad for them, and what looks bad for another person may in fact be good for them.
Just acknowledge that people who are millionaires also have drug addictions, depression, anxiety, sleepless nights etc. So their lives may not appear to be what you think it is (that's why so many of them commit suicide). And then you have very poor people in Africa who are smiling and content, even though they live in tough conditions.

I pray God guides you towards the right path and enters you into His mercy.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#6
Report 3 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting to feel as if life is pointless. Like it's just one mundane cycle - study, get a job, work, die. You build relationships with people, you fall in love; but they all leave eventually, either because of break-ups, fall-outs or death. It's just one continuous cycle of pain & grief. When things go up, they always come down - joy is always followed by pain. I know this post sounds really damn pessimistic & I'm so sorry if this ruins anyone's day. I'm posting this anonymously because I'm utterly embarrassed - I know that there are so many people who have it worse than me, yet I just can't seem to find true happiness. I'm just tired of living & I want to go to sleep forever; but I don't want to die because there's a small part of me that is still optimistic that better times are coming, but mostly because I don't want to hurt my parents, humiliate them or be seen as a "wasted investment." I don't talk about this with many people, because I don't know how to explain why I'm sad to someone when I don't even know the root of the sadness myself. I do speak to the Samaritans online, but I feel like a burden in general. Does anyone have any advice on how to "snap out" of this?
On a deeper level, I completely understand how you feel but there are many hidden beauties to life that often go unnoticed! For instance, the general beauty we fail to neglect of the surroundings around us, the peace of the breeze at night, the twinkling of the cars and environment around us, the flawless swirl of colour within the sky! In times when I feel down, I find it very comforting to take a walk or admire the beauty of the night sky through simply gazing out the window and listening to the rain- all these things make me feel alive! Also, I won't lie to you, of course life is filled with pain, but sometimes that pain can be a beautiful thing- it helps shape us into experienced and wiser people- and I promise you that eventually happiness will ensue! Please don't feel embarrassed either, I'm sure your quite a unique and sparkling person, I really hope things get better for you )
1
reply
study beats
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#7
Report 3 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting to feel as if life is pointless. Like it's just one mundane cycle - study, get a job, work, die. You build relationships with people, you fall in love; but they all leave eventually, either because of break-ups, fall-outs or death. It's just one continuous cycle of pain & grief. When things go up, they always come down - joy is always followed by pain. I know this post sounds really damn pessimistic & I'm so sorry if this ruins anyone's day. I'm posting this anonymously because I'm utterly embarrassed - I know that there are so many people who have it worse than me, yet I just can't seem to find true happiness. I'm just tired of living & I want to go to sleep forever; but I don't want to die because there's a small part of me that is still optimistic that better times are coming, but mostly because I don't want to hurt my parents, humiliate them or be seen as a "wasted investment." I don't talk about this with many people, because I don't know how to explain why I'm sad to someone when I don't even know the root of the sadness myself. I do speak to the Samaritans online, but I feel like a burden in general. Does anyone have any advice on how to "snap out" of this?
Turned 25 years old last week and my dark past is still traumatizing me.

I graduated in November 2017 and since then I have done nothing with my life.

Last year in 2018 I was living at a supported accomodation, at the accomodation I was abused by the staff and residents, it was a terrible time.

Some months later I was feeling suicidal and my father took me to the hospital, there I met a mental health nurse. The nurse said "you can harm yourself if you want to, your an adult and it's your choice". After she said that I was in tears , none of the other doctors asked me what's wrong whilst I was in tears. My father was with me and he did nothing .

Some months later I attempted suicide , I was taken to hospital .

2018 was a terrible year and it was wasted because I was mistreated by the NHS and other humans . I was once blamed for emotional blackmail.

At the beginning of 2019 I tried to get back on the path of recovery , but it didn't work, I spent most of my time in bed.

In July 2019 I was admitted into hospital for my mental disorder, I spent the first week crying on the phone to my parents because I didn't want to be there , a grown man crying. I felt really guilty for crying.

Fast forward to November 2019 , here I am, still in pain and traumatized because of my past.

Why is the world such a cruel place ?
0
reply
ساره
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#8
Report 3 weeks ago
#8
Im so sorry to hear what occurred. Hope you are doing well 💓💓 Your life story is so similar to mine. Personally I worked on myself and tried to find the positives in things because otherwise it’s just toxic. I try to appreciate the moments I have with loved ones more. Have you tried talking to a GP?
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#9
Report 3 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by study beats)
Turned 25 years old last week and my dark past is still traumatizing me.

I graduated in November 2017 and since then I have done nothing with my life.

Last year in 2018 I was living at a supported accomodation, at the accomodation I was abused by the staff and residents, it was a terrible time.

Some months later I was feeling suicidal and my father took me to the hospital, there I met a mental health nurse. The nurse said "you can harm yourself if you want to, your an adult and it's your choice". After she said that I was in tears , none of the other doctors asked me what's wrong whilst I was in tears. My father was with me and he did nothing .

Some months later I attempted suicide , I was taken to hospital .

2018 was a terrible year and it was wasted because I was mistreated by the NHS and other humans . I was once blamed for emotional blackmail.

At the beginning of 2019 I tried to get back on the path of recovery , but it didn't work, I spent most of my time in bed.

In July 2019 I was admitted into hospital for my mental disorder, I spent the first week crying on the phone to my parents because I didn't want to be there , a grown man crying. I felt really guilty for crying.

Fast forward to November 2019 , here I am, still in pain and traumatized because of my past.

Why is the world such a cruel place ?
To be honest, in your situation, the only thing you can do is look forward and try to move on. Telling yourself you can't because you are stuck in the past isn't going to help you, it will only put you in further denial. And nobody can help you unless you help yourself.
0
reply
study beats
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#10
Report 3 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
To be honest, in your situation, the only thing you can do is look forward and try to move on. Telling yourself you can't because you are stuck in the past isn't going to help you, it will only put you in further denial. And nobody can help you unless you help yourself.
If only it was that easy
0
reply
gjd800
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#11
Report 3 weeks ago
#11
i don't think that there is an objective point, it's a collection of things that we ourselves create and strive towards and is thus moveable

not sure if that is really what you were after
0
reply
It's****ingWOODY
  • Political Ambassador
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#12
Report 3 weeks ago
#12
You only get one go at life, I think it's best to just try and enjoy it in your spare time. That's why I've numerous hobbies, always something to do, rarely ever get properly bored and it gives me something to live for.
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#13
Report 3 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting to feel as if life is pointless. Like it's just one mundane cycle - study, get a job, work, die. You build relationships with people, you fall in love; but they all leave eventually, either because of break-ups, fall-outs or death. It's just one continuous cycle of pain & grief. When things go up, they always come down - joy is always followed by pain. I know this post sounds really damn pessimistic & I'm so sorry if this ruins anyone's day. I'm posting this anonymously because I'm utterly embarrassed - I know that there are so many people who have it worse than me, yet I just can't seem to find true happiness. I'm just tired of living & I want to go to sleep forever; but I don't want to die because there's a small part of me that is still optimistic that better times are coming, but mostly because I don't want to hurt my parents, humiliate them or be seen as a "wasted investment." I don't talk about this with many people, because I don't know how to explain why I'm sad to someone when I don't even know the root of the sadness myself. I do speak to the Samaritans online, but I feel like a burden in general. Does anyone have any advice on how to "snap out" of this?
Yes. Investigate the claims of Buddhism. You don't yet understand that real happiness has to start from inside of rhe person and not from external stuff. When you change internally then you attitude to life changes and you start to realise that life is about navigating problems. And happiness is nor the absence of problems. Nichiren Buddhism!
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#14
Report 3 weeks ago
#14
(Original post by study beats)
If only it was that easy
I didn't say it was easy, I just stated what needed to be done. It's your future, you decide what you make of it, but complaining to others that you're stuck in the past is only further time wasted. People telling you they feel sorry for you isn't going to change your circumstances. And the world is lacking in real men right now, it's about time someone filled in the missing gaps.
0
reply
study beats
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#15
Report 2 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I didn't say it was easy, I just stated what needed to be done. It's your future, you decide what you make of it, but complaining to others that you're stuck in the past is only further time wasted. People telling you they feel sorry for you isn't going to change your circumstances. And the world is lacking in real men right now, it's about time someone filled in the missing gaps.
How do I get over the trauma then?

And the fact your saying the world is lacking real men right now , I feel like I am one of them , there were so many occasions where I was in tears because of how people treated me . Thats why I can't move on, I was literally in tears ...tears rolling down my face , a grown 24 year old man crying .

You have read my post , you have seen how I was treated ...I was in a really low place and people took advantage of me and played with my emotions .

I am still finding it difficult to move on
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#16
Report 2 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by study beats)
How do I get over the trauma then?

And the fact your saying the world is lacking real men right now , I feel like I am one of them , there were so many occasions where I was in tears because of how people treated me . Thats why I can't move on, I was literally in tears ...tears rolling down my face , a grown 24 year old man crying .

You have read my post , you have seen how I was treated ...I was in a really low place and people took advantage of me and played with my emotions .

I am still finding it difficult to move on
You get over the trauma by looking towards the possibilities of the future instead of constantly staring into the past. Think about what society is lacking, what people need in the community, then think on how you could help fulfill these needs of society to help it thrive.

Bear in mind it takes a real man to admit his weaknesses, and the fact he was crying, which you have. But if you still consider yourself a lesser man, then make amends to become a real man. Be a good for society, by first acknowledging societies flaws and where it can be improved.
0
reply
study beats
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#17
Report 2 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
You get over the trauma by looking towards the possibilities of the future instead of constantly staring into the past. Think about what society is lacking, what people need in the community, then think on how you could help fulfill these needs of society to help it thrive.

Bear in mind it takes a real man to admit his weaknesses, and the fact he was crying, which you have. But if you still consider yourself a lesser man, then make amends to become a real man. Be a good for society, by first acknowledging societies flaws and where it can be improved.
I have actually given up on society , there's too many bad people out there , bad people working in places where people's lives actually need protecting. I can't do anything about it, the world is a cruel place.

I have wasted my early 20s away, I still don't know how I will ever find closure . Everyone I try to move on and look to the future I am reminded of my dark past .
0
reply
username5049966
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#18
Report 2 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much for the reply.
And no, I am not religious at all. I respect all religions & see the virtues in them, but I personally don't follow one. I suppose I'm rather agnostic. I know that having a religion would be good in terms of giving me faith & a reason to keep pushing forward, but I find it hard to believe that a specific higher power exists when there's so much wrong in the world. For example, my loving caring mother (whose a doctor) got cancer when she literally saves other people's lives & follows a healthy lifestyle, whilst there are people out there who chain-smoke & are evil, yet are perfectly healthy. I just don't understand how such unfairness could exist if there was a God. I do think there is something up there though.. Just not sure who or what.
Cancer is nothing to do with being good or evil. Each time your cells replicate they have a 1 in 10 chance of doing so incorrectly. The rest of the time they mess up which is when you get mutations. Some mutations are good and others are bad like cancer. That's all it is. Random chance. I mean look at it this way you wouldn't say that people get the flu because they're evil.They get it because of viruses. Everything has a logical cause. I'm sorry about your mum but I thought I'd throw that out there.
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#19
Report 2 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by RJ7781)
Cancer is nothing to do with being good or evil. Each time your cells replicate they have a 1 in 10 chance of doing so incorrectly. The rest of the time they mess up which is when you get mutations. Some mutations are good and others are bad like cancer. That's all it is. Random chance. I mean look at it this way you wouldn't say that people get the flu because they're evil.They get it because of viruses. Everything has a logical cause. I'm sorry about your mum but I thought I'd throw that out there.
Yes true! And what makes people expect that life will be fair? Where has there ever been evidence of this. Good behaviour does not always produce a good or grateful outcome. But we have to try our best in the face of the 4 inevitables: Birth , ageing, sickness and death! It's called life. Just do your best to be happy and fulfilled!
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#20
Report 2 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by study beats)
I have actually given up on society , there's too many bad people out there , bad people working in places where people's lives actually need protecting. I can't do anything about it, the world is a cruel place.

I have wasted my early 20s away, I still don't know how I will ever find closure . Everyone I try to move on and look to the future I am reminded of my dark past .
Here is the issue. Everybody thinks they won't make a difference, hence, nobody does anything. But all it takes it one candle to light the way for the rest. You have to be an example of someone who wishes to make change, and this will eventually inspire other people. And where there is suffering, there is the opportunity to alleviate that suffering, so don't look on all things doom and gloom. The very reason we are in this mess is because nobody wants to take any responsibility. There's no point blaming our leaders as we put them in power. No point blaming wars as if society protested against wars they'd be far less likely to happen, but people idly sit back and watch on, which is what allows evil people to get away with doing things. But if we actually put ourselves to work, then change happens. If women didn't fight for their right to vote, they never would've have the vote. If African Americans didn't fight against the oppression, they'd still be working on the slave farms. So no matter how bleak it is, the world has seen worse days, and people were able to make positive changes that impacted the globe on those days. So there's nothing to say that change can't be made now.

You get closure by forgiving yourself and accepting your loss. Then working to make amends.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Did you vote in the 2019 general election?

Yes (282)
46.77%
No (69)
11.44%
I'm not old enough (252)
41.79%

Watched Threads

View All