Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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So I’ve started my first year of uni, and I’m trying to get into a relationship. When I go out to clubs, guys are always interested in me. They stare or they say I’m hot (only to my friends), but they NEVER come up to me and say a word? They just stare? This doesn't just happen in clubs, this happens around campus too. Its definitely not because they are shy because they happily talk to other girls and my friends. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, am I really that unapproachable? All my friends find it so easy to find guys and get off with them, but why do guys just stare at me from a distance, fix their hair or talk to other people about me? Is there something wrong with talking to me? I do have a bit of resting ***** face?
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guong
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haha i think you're overthinking it
people can be intimidated by appearance, especially as it acts like a different 'class'. sometimes they just don't know how to approach or they need a little help; have you tried approaching first?
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tazatziki
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Have you tried making the first move?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by guong)
haha i think you're overthinking it
people can be intimidated by appearance, especially as it acts like a different 'class'. sometimes they just don't know how to approach or they need a little help; have you tried approaching first?
No, because they are normally the ones that are staring at me and are interested in me, not the other way round. I normally don’t like them back, (Sorry I don’t mean to sound big headed) I just feel like there’s something wrong with me because they’ll happily talk to other girls about me, or flirt with other girls, but never me.
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guong
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No, because they are normally the ones that are staring at me and are interested in me, not the other way round. I normally don’t like them back, (Sorry I don’t mean to sound big headed) I just feel like there’s something wrong with me because they’ll happily talk to other girls about me, or flirt with other girls, but never me.
perhaps it's like a thing where you can appreciate how attractive someone is, but that doesn't mean you're necessarily attracted to them, if that makes sense; how do you know that they're interested? sorry haha i sound like i'm just insulting your appearance but i'm just questioning the situation
have they not talked to you at all??? or is it like, in a romantic interest sense. i think it's a thing of when you like someone, you can either try really hard, act normal, or completely avoid them so maybe...?
but if you don't like them back, then what exactly is the issue?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by guong)
perhaps it's like a thing where you can appreciate how attractive someone is, but that doesn't mean you're necessarily attracted to them, if that makes sense; how do you know that they're interested? sorry haha i sound like i'm just insulting your appearance but i'm just questioning the situation
have they not talked to you at all??? or is it like, in a romantic interest sense. i think it's a thing of when you like someone, you can either try really hard, act normal, or completely avoid them so maybe...?
but if you don't like them back, then what exactly is the issue?
I’ve realised boys make it so obvious when they like you, they’re not sly whatsoever! I’m not someone who thinks people just stare it me, they have to make it very obvious for me to notice that they are. These boys will show signs of interest such as staring at me every few minutes, fixing their hair or I even hear them telling they’re friends that I’m hot, or they’ll tell my friends. The issue isn’t that I like them back, the issue is that I feel like there’s something wrong with me, something that makes me unapproachable. For instance, there’s a boy that likes me (his friends have said), but when I sat next to him in a group, he didn’t talk to me once. He talked to all the other girls, but didn’t even look in my direction. Sorry for that long paragraph, I am overthinking it, but it’s bothering me.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No, because they are normally the ones that are staring at me and are interested in me, not the other way round. I normally don’t like them back, (Sorry I don’t mean to sound big headed) I just feel like there’s something wrong with me because they’ll happily talk to other girls about me, or flirt with other girls, but never me.
Try starting a conversation? might help?
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guong
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve realised boys make it so obvious when they like you, they’re not sly whatsoever! I’m not someone who thinks people just stare it me, they have to make it very obvious for me to notice that they are. These boys will show signs of interest such as staring at me every few minutes, fixing their hair or I even hear them telling they’re friends that I’m hot, or they’ll tell my friends. The issue isn’t that I like them back, the issue is that I feel like there’s something wrong with me, something that makes me unapproachable. For instance, there’s a boy that likes me (his friends have said), but when I sat next to him in a group, he didn’t talk to me once. He talked to all the other girls, but didn’t even look in my direction. Sorry for that long paragraph, I am overthinking it, but it’s bothering me.
don't apologise!! haha, it's completely fine
whilst a lot of guys do make it obvious, some don't. i think that's like, one of the things that we girls forget is that there are guys out there who are nervous and shy because they're scared of rejection. if a guy is blatantly ignoring you, and he has no reason to do so, this could also be an obvious sign, that isn't so obvious iguess, but it's known. he could be thinking that because he sees you as attractive and a higher 'tier', if you will, he's scared to approach you because he doesn't feel at a level with-higher than you and thinks you deserve better(there are guys out there like this, a lot more than youd think!)/he wants to rid you of attention because he thinks you already get attention so he's using this to stand out. if he's told people he likes you, then that just means he's nervous to approach you because he won't know how to act or if he'll **** up and you'll think he's a weird ass; guys are p similar to girls sometimes.
i'd probably be able to give better advice if i knew you irl haha, but i'll say off the bat that it's not a fault within yourself. unless you're literally threatening them away
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by guong)
don't apologise!! haha, it's completely fine
whilst a lot of guys do make it obvious, some don't. i think that's like, one of the things that we girls forget is that there are guys out there who are nervous and shy because they're scared of rejection. if a guy is blatantly ignoring you, and he has no reason to do so, this could also be an obvious sign, that isn't so obvious iguess, but it's known. he could be thinking that because he sees you as attractive and a higher 'tier', if you will, he's scared to approach you because he doesn't feel at a level with-higher than you and thinks you deserve better(there are guys out there like this, a lot more than youd think!)/he wants to rid you of attention because he thinks you already get attention so he's using this to stand out. if he's told people he likes you, then that just means he's nervous to approach you because he won't know how to act or if he'll **** up and you'll think he's a weird ass; guys are p similar to girls sometimes.
i'd probably be able to give better advice if i knew you irl haha, but i'll say off the bat that it's not a fault within yourself. unless you're literally threatening them away
Aw thank you for taking your time to reply to me, your response has made me feel better ❤️
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guong
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Aw thank you for taking your time to reply to me, your response has made me feel better ❤️
it's okay, i know how it feels to overthink and panic and not have anyone reply fast enough lmao <3 but if stuff like this happens
DON'T INSTANTLY FIND FAULTS WITHIN YOURSELF
it is not your fault, especially in situations like these, so don't blame yourself immediately
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