did i do the right thing? what should i do?

as you can see, i am a uni student who is dealing with a problem and that problem is....

there are guys who want to use me for sex but i am a muslim woman who has morals and my imman (faith) isn't weak but i am scared what will happen. three guys were objectifying my body in a sexual way and i have told my tutor about them, she said she will talk to the other professors about the guys which is great and they will try their hardest to maintain my safety before anything...

but it scares me that something will happen. i am a good person and never been in a relationship since it is a sin to be in one before marriage.

i am way younger than them (the second youngest in my year) and it is so heartbreaking that there are people like those guys :/ there is this one guy who studies a different degree and i cant tell if he wants to use me for sex or he likes me which i will never do because i want to lose my virginity to my future husband, not someone i will forget.

Reply 1

guong

11

just to be clear, are you worried that they are going to rape you?
the best advice i can offer is to protect yourself; try not to be alone and stay with your friends. if you're going out socially then just be aware of your surroundings. you can't control the way people think or what they say but you can control how it affects you, if you let it.
and if you can't tell if a guy wants to use you for sex or if he likes you - if he likes you then he will respect your decision and your dedication to your faith, which you may have to make clear if it comes up in conversation or if you get to that point with him

Reply 2

username5027880

20

Original post by Anonymous

as you can see, i am a uni student who is dealing with a problem and that problem is....

there are guys who want to use me for sex but i am a muslim woman who has morals and my imman (faith) isn't weak but i am scared what will happen. three guys were objectifying my body in a sexual way and i have told my tutor about them, she said she will talk to the other professors about the guys which is great and they will try their hardest to maintain my safety before anything...

but it scares me that something will happen. i am a good person and never been in a relationship since it is a sin to be in one before marriage.

i am way younger than them (the second youngest in my year) and it is so heartbreaking that there are people like those guys :/ there is this one guy who studies a different degree and i cant tell if he wants to use me for sex or he likes me which i will never do because i want to lose my virginity to my future husband, not someone i will forget.

It seems to me that if they do anything to you against your will, that would be a very serious offence punishable in a court of law.
You have taken the first step by informing your tutor. Stay strong, and save yourself for your future husband, that is in my book is extremely admirable, and I admire you for it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

yep i am worried that they will... i have been raped before and they know that i went through sexual abuse at a young age but they still objecfiy me... my tutor knows i have been raped too so she told me it is best if i arrange to meet with my friends and stay with them or if i feel way too uncomfortable then she can take me to the toilet or the sanctuary since she cares about her student's safety.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Karisa96

It seems to me that if they do anything to you against your will, that would be a very serious offence punishable in a court of law.
You have taken the first step by informing your tutor. Stay strong, and save yourself for your future husband, that is in my book is extremely admirable, and I admire you for it.

i have been raped before and my tutor told me if they touch you then they would go prision but because they haven't done any physical then she cant call the police BUT she has told the other tutors about this issue and they will try their hardest to protect me from harm.

Reply 5

guong

11

Original post by Anonymous

yep i am worried that they will... i have been raped before and they know that i went through sexual abuse at a young age but they still objecfiy me... my tutor knows i have been raped too so she told me it is best if i arrange to meet with my friends and stay with them or if i feel way too uncomfortable then she can take me to the toilet or the sanctuary since she cares about her student's safety.

ah
i'm sorry that you had to experience that
i'd just say stay away from them and keep with others who you know you can trust. if you know the guys personally then..maybe talk to them about it? but only if it gets to the point of literal paranoia i'd say

Reply 6

$Avatar for \^_^/$

\^_^/

19

Original post by Anonymous

yep i am worried that they will... i have been raped before and they know that i went through sexual abuse at a young age but they still objecfiy me... my tutor knows i have been raped too so she told me it is best if i arrange to meet with my friends and stay with them or if i feel way too uncomfortable then she can take me to the toilet or the sanctuary since she cares about her student's safety.

do u live in uni?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

it happened a long time ago and i will stay away from them. i don't trust anyone at the moment because of this situation... if i talk to them, they will laugh. they are one of those people. my tutor promised me to seperate them from me.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by 000_0000

do u live in uni?

luckily, i dont!

i live at home with my family

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

If you've been raped then you've already lost your virginity

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

If you've been raped then you've already lost your virginity

i don't think i have lost my virginity... i prefer saying i havent even though i was raped...

Reply 11

$Avatar for \^_^/$

\^_^/

19

Original post by Anonymous

luckily, i dont!

i live at home with my family

i know that the uni that my sister goes to they put lectures online sometimes maybe if u stay away from uni a bit it could be helpful

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

i don't think i have lost my virginity... i prefer saying i havent even though i was raped...

What do you mean you dont think you lost your virginity? Did they not insert their **** inside your vagina? Was it anal then?

Reply 13

guong

11

Original post by Anonymous

What do you mean you dont think you lost your virginity? Did they not insert their **** inside your vagina? Was it anal then?

lmao i think it's more the concept
physically, yes she's not a virgin but it's common for people to try and forget their experiences, so mentally it's more of the concept of losing virginity esp because virginity is perceived (particularly in religion) as something sacred and with a loved and trusted one, so because it wasn't (i'm assuming) anon. doesn't want to count it as that

Reply 14

Sammylou40

20

I’m sorry to hear what happened to you. Hopefully you’re recovering and have had help
Do you think that that happening has influenced your judgment now?
Are they just being a bit flirty and friendly with you? As is normal behaviour. It doesn’t sound as if they’ve actually done anything wrong so it could be that you’re scared of the past recurring.
You’ve done the right thing by talking to your tutor. If you haven’t already then try to tell her the whole story.
It can help them resolve the situation. And of course what you tell them is confidential.
I’d just ask you to be careful of accusations because they can destroy lives.
I wish you the best

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by guong

lmao i think it's more the concept
physically, yes she's not a virgin but it's common for people to try and forget their experiences, so mentally it's more of the concept of losing virginity esp because virginity is perceived (particularly in religion) as something sacred and with a loved and trusted one, so because it wasn't (i'm assuming) anon. doesn't want to count it as that