Decided to create this blog - inspiration from @The_Lonely_Goatherd Don't think I can be as consistent but really need some positivity in my life atm. Trying to pick myself up. Keeping thoughts away by making my life more productive.
Will try to keep the negativity out of here but I don't promise it - may become a venting space by the end
What I'm grateful for today Having a supportive mum! Can go to her for anything, don't even have to tell the reason, or hold my tears back, she'll reassure me and give me loads of kisses and it always works - i feel calm and protected all of a sudden
A random act of kindness I've done Whist driving to the gym, i was in a long line of moving traffic and no one was giving way to this car so I stopped to let them go eventhough I was afraid of the car behind me horning at me (driving gives in traffic gives me anxiety) but i did it 🙈
A random act of kindness someone has done for me Was feeling a bit low in the evening, my brother offered to give me a car ride (as much as i hate them, it's the thought that counts) He drive so fast though
Things I did well I got up early, managed to read fajr (a pray), planned my day and studied - was effective and made me feel good about myself
Something I could improve on Not blaming myself for eveything
What I've achieved today Making this thread
What I've done to look after my mental health Gym, tried to be around my family rather than alone,
Something I have to look forward to Going to the gym tomorrow and trying out new equipment
Something that made me smile My dad telling me that he didn't realise I was so brave 🙈 I've always wanted to impress dad and not be a disappointment so when he tells me things like, i can't help smile
I feel so proud of myself for trying out new gym equipment (so small I know, but not for me) 😩
On the other hand I need to stop trying to lose weight orelse I'm gonna relapse into my bad eating habits But i don't have an appetite anymore, it's so difficult to eat when you just feel sick thinking about food
Why do i have to lose energy after 3pm exactly? It's like as soon as it gets dark outside, i tell myself it's night and time to relax OR i see the gloomy weather and get depressed. Yes over WEATHER wth?
Lots of hugs! I'm glad you have a supportive mother. I also find the dark weather once the clocks go back has a huge impact on my mood Maybe you have a bit of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? It's estimated 1 in 4 people in the UK have it
What I'm grateful for today Having a lil sister to cheer me up with her tiny problems And her hugs are the best and the warmest
A random act of kindness I've done Helped my mum with cleaning the kitchen
A random act of kindness someone has done for me My dad made milkshake for me when i came back from the gym
Things I did well Woke up early Studied Went to the gym and pretended to be confident rather than intimidated - faking actually makes you more confident lmao Initiated a group presentation we have to do - no one else bothered after all these weeks
Something I could improve on Stop peeling my lips till they bleed same with the skin around my thumb Need to eat more Try to be productive throughout the day rather than till 3/4pm
What I've achieved today Trying out new equipment at the gym and being more comfortable Being healthier
What I've done to look after my mental health Erm i guess workout counts - really helps with self esteem too
Something I have to look forward to Erm not sure if I'm looking forward to anything
Something that made me smile My sister making a tiny story book for me
Lots of hugs! I'm glad you have a supportive mother. I also find the dark weather once the clocks go back has a huge impact on my mood Maybe you have a bit of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? It's estimated 1 in 4 people in the UK have it
I think you might be right, my friend was also telling me this the other day - i didn't know it had a name In summer or sunny days my mood is alot more uplifted, whereas in the winter I always ask myself what is the point of life
Everyday feels like a repeat I want to change I want to be better I want to be open to more things and more people But when i try i feel like im straining myself Not giving myself time to rest And when i give myself time to rest, i regret and feel low and lazy Maybe it's about how effective the rest is? Maybe i should go out for a walk rather than watch a video and stay on my phone or in bed But it gets dark at 4pm and I'm scared of the dark Can't wait for summer already
Dad was telling me today that when an accident happens (or anything bad), it's not the incident itself that causes a problem, its our panicking and worrying that makes the situation worse because we lose the ability to think rationally. If something bad happens, it was meant to - you're being tested on how well you can handle it, so do it well instead of worrying. That made me realise we shouldn't blame things om ourselves (and also reassured me that if i did something wrong from now on, dad wouldn't get mad at me )
Need to reflect on his words and try to apply it. I'm the biggest worrier ever
For the past couple of days, he's been so kind and lovely to us all. I feel like it's a blessing sent from God to help me get through a tough time
I always set me alarm for 6am and I ALWAYS hear the alarm within its first 3 seconds but for some reason today it kept going on and dad woke me me up, i had 10 minutes to get ready Why was I so tired?