Incredibly lonely and isolated at uni, really need advice?
I am in second year at uni and I am incredibly isolated and alone. I have zero friends here and seeing everyone else at uni with friendship groups and the worst, couples kills me. Everytime I see uni couples it makes me depressed and I am often fighting back tears. The worst is hearing my neighbours have sex, the fact that I could be having that wonderful experience with a girl but I'm not I just feel so jealous frustrated and depressed. A year and a half of my uni experience has been wasted. I should also mention I have social anxiety which is why I couldn't talk to people in first year. Please what do I do? I should have friends and a girlfriend like everyone else, I am so alone hear, I cry all the time,
You shouldn’t have anything it’s not that you have to have them by the sound of this you believe you need them to survive and that shouldn’t be the case at all
I have social anxiety , I’m female and I’m extremely shy so I know how that is... but I’m not at uni sorry
Original post by Anonymous
I am in second year at uni and I am incredibly isolated and alone. I have zero friends here and seeing everyone else at uni with friendship groups and the worst, couples kills me. Everytime I see uni couples it makes me depressed and I am often fighting back tears. The worst is hearing my neighbours have sex, the fact that I could be having that wonderful experience with a girl but I'm not I just feel so jealous frustrated and depressed. A year and a half of my uni experience has been wasted. I should also mention I have social anxiety which is why I couldn't talk to people in first year. Please what do I do? I should have friends and a girlfriend like everyone else, I am so alone hear, I cry all the time,
Maybe try introducing urself to ur neighbours?? I’d say start really small and get involved in a club or some social uni thing, even if it’s low contact level
Like idk, gym classes? That way you’ll be out n about. Stop moping because that’s helping no one, especially urself. Ur gonna have to try, and that’s gonna be so hard but it’s doable.
I’m in a slightly different situation, as I’ve just started year 12, but I completely relate to how you’re feeling. My best advice to you is to try and join any clubs or societies that take your interest. That way you can meet like-minded people and in a matter of weeks or even days, I’m sure you’ll all feel comfortable enough to make plans to meet for lunch or coffee and then your friendship can progress from there. Please don’t compare yourself to ‘everyone’ else - I promise you that you’re not alone, as I have social anxiety too and I bet a lot of students are in the same situation as you rn, even though it really doesn’t feel like it. I agree that there’s nothing worse than seeing friends walking past laughing amongst themselves, or couples snuggling up on the streets or even within your own accommodation, but your people are out there and now’s the time to start searching for them!! I know how scary it is and often with social anxiety it’s easier to just hibernate in your own safe haven and avoid communicating with the outside world, but you deserve solid friendships just as much as any other uni student, so deal with this in baby steps - join a club that sparks your interest, give it at least 3 sessions to see if there’s anyone who you’re compatible with, maybe try to sit next to someone new in your lectures who you’ve never really noticed before and just say hi, ask about their future plans and if they conversation goes well, then suggest meeting later, but at the same time, try to enjoy your alone time and try to find solace in the solitude. I 100% relate, as I spend all of my lunch times sat alone on a wall, or when it’s too cold I just go to my next classroom and sit there reading over previous notes to distract myself, despite acting really confident at the beginning of the year and trying to meet as many new people as possible, so I may not have the answer as to why this happens to us, but I promise you that things will get better, the pain won’t last forever and within a few weeks, if you try to get yourself out there more and join some new clubs or even go to the gym if you’re looking for motivation, then things will gradually start looking up <3 sorry if this is all a bit condescending and meaningless as I’m sure sixth form is a lot different to university and the actual wider world, but I hope it helps somehow 
