Do I drop out of uni or defer for a year to think about whether this is right for me? Watch

Jayne00
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So basically I decided that I was going to move to London to study music business at a really well known and successful music university. However, it’s been three months since I started and I haven’t been doing well at all... Every single day I have this feeling of dread just knowing I’m here. Which is so weird to me because I’m so passionate about music and I always wanted to move to London, I know this is an amazing opportunity but I just don’t feel right at all, and I really don’t know what to do... I’m a singer and guitarist, my dream is to have my own band and become successful, so I thought studying music business would help me in some way to just get to know the industry more because I had no clue at the start. I am interested in a career in the music business but being here really doesn’t feel right for me, I’m getting really depressed, I feel soooo alone here and I find myself going back home literally every weekend because I miss my boyfriend and my friends/family sooo much. I don’t know if this is right for me and if I should drop out or not. Honestly the thought of me having to stay here to complete the three year course makes me feel miserable, however I really don’t know what else I would do if I dropped out! I come from a town that doesn’t have a good music scene at all, I know london is such a great place to be for someone wanting to get into the music industry but I’m just so miserable it’s unreal. It’s such a messy situation and I really don’t know what to do😭 it’s really taking a toll on my mental health now...
It’s xmas break in two weeks in which I’m off for a month so I thought maybe I could take that time to really think about whether or not this is for me, but I really don’t know what on earth id do if I decided to move back home. I’m 19 now and I feel like I should know, I’m also so scared that I’ll regret dropping out if I decide on that. London is such an amazing place for music so would I be screwing myself over massively?
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anastasia666
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(Original post by Jayne00)
So basically I decided that I was going to move to London to study music business at a really well known and successful music university. However, it’s been three months since I started and I haven’t been doing well at all... Every single day I have this feeling of dread just knowing I’m here. Which is so weird to me because I’m so passionate about music and I always wanted to move to London, I know this is an amazing opportunity but I just don’t feel right at all, and I really don’t know what to do... I’m a singer and guitarist, my dream is to have my own band and become successful, so I thought studying music business would help me in some way to just get to know the industry more because I had no clue at the start. I am interested in a career in the music business but being here really doesn’t feel right for me, I’m getting really depressed, I feel soooo alone here and I find myself going back home literally every weekend because I miss my boyfriend and my friends/family sooo much. I don’t know if this is right for me and if I should drop out or not. Honestly the thought of me having to stay here to complete the three year course makes me feel miserable, however I really don’t know what else I would do if I dropped out! I come from a town that doesn’t have a good music scene at all, I know london is such a great place to be for someone wanting to get into the music industry but I’m just so miserable it’s unreal. It’s such a messy situation and I really don’t know what to do😭 it’s really taking a toll on my mental health now...
It’s xmas break in two weeks in which I’m off for a month so I thought maybe I could take that time to really think about whether or not this is for me, but I really don’t know what on earth id do if I decided to move back home. I’m 19 now and I feel like I should know, I’m also so scared that I’ll regret dropping out if I decide on that. London is such an amazing place for music so would I be screwing myself over massively?
Based on what you've said, I'd seriously recommend reassessing your goals, aspirations and motivations for going to that uni. If you don't change your situation ASAP it could have some serious impacts on your mental health and general well-being.

What support groups do you have access to? Take time out for yourself during break and have a nice long conversation about it with your friends and/or family. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to give you better advice since they know you better.

Don't forget that there are SO many opportunities available to you. Being happy and successful doesn't even necessarily mean going to university at all!

I'm in no way telling you to drop out by the way. All I'm saying is, you have so many options. Trying writing out the pros and cons of your current situation at the university. I know that writing things I worry about on paper always makes me feel so much better.

I'm also a musician, and I understand how it can be hard to choose the right pathway. I'm still trying to choose me university and it's SO HARD but I'm taking it all one step at a time.

Which is my final point (sorry for ranting but I really wanna help!), always take ONE STEP AT A TIME! When you look at your situation, try to focus on each little thing you can do to make yourself happier and healthier, rather than looking the big picture. This always helps me make better decisions and just feel more relax.

All of that probably wasn't that helpful, but if you ever need someone to vent to or release any stress, I'm only a PM away.

I really hope everything works out and you have a happy and successful outcome. Good luck!
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Jayne00
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Jayne00
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(Original post by anastasia666)
Based on what you've said, I'd seriously recommend reassessing your goals, aspirations and motivations for going to that uni. If you don't change your situation ASAP it could have some serious impacts on your mental health and general well-being.

What support groups do you have access to? Take time out for yourself during break and have a nice long conversation about it with your friends and/or family. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to give you better advice since they know you better.

Don't forget that there are SO many opportunities available to you. Being happy and successful doesn't even necessarily mean going to university at all!

I'm in no way telling you to drop out by the way. All I'm saying is, you have so many options. Trying writing out the pros and cons of your current situation at the university. I know that writing things I worry about on paper always makes me feel so much better.

I'm also a musician, and I understand how it can be hard to choose the right pathway. I'm still trying to choose me university and it's SO HARD but I'm taking it all one step at a time.

Which is my final point (sorry for ranting but I really wanna help!), always take ONE STEP AT A TIME! When you look at your situation, try to focus on each little thing you can do to make yourself happier and healthier, rather than looking the big picture. This always helps me make better decisions and just feel more relax.

All of that probably wasn't that helpful, but if you ever need someone to vent to or release any stress, I'm only a PM away.

I really hope everything works out and you have a happy and successful outcome. Good luck!
Thank you so much, I’m so grateful for your response it’s opened my eyes a bit more in terms of me actually having more options. I’m not too sure on any support groups I could look into, I’ve spoken to my family and friends about it which all have different views. My friends want what’s best for me and they really think I should either defer so I can work on my mental health (I’ve had issues with depression for a while now which I haven’t really worked on) in which is getting far worse now, or just drop out all together. My parents really want me to stay and be successful, they’ve always had such high hopes for me in being successful in the music industry and I really don’t want to let them down. They also aren’t too understanding when it comes to depression & anxiety etc, they also pay my rent... if I were to move back home they’d be paying my rent up until September next year for literally no reason which makes everything so much more difficult! I’ve heard them say if I really don’t enjoy it there I can come home and the money doesn’t matter, but they said this before I moved without actually thinking that would happen, and now that that might be the case, their opinion on that matter has massively changed, they’re so p*ssed at me for even feeling this way which really sucks.
I’m just so worried I’ll regret it if I drop out, I really don’t know what other options I do actually have in terms of working in the music industry, I know university isn’t the only route to it but I’m just so clueless. Again thank you so much for taking time out of your day to help me with this, I really appreciate it x
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