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Odd situation, help. (Friend turns out to be gay.)
I have a really good friend I've known for about a year now. We usually are around each other quite a bit and he's a really cool guy.
A few days ago he started getting really touchy feely around me and I got pretty uncomfortable. He told me he 'liked' me, I was pretty shocked. He then leaned in and try to kiss me. Needless to say, I haven't run that fast in my life.
He's been calling and texting me ever since saying he's sorry and that he was drunk or whatnot, but he admits to being a 'homo'. I'm not really a homophobe, but the idea of hanging around a person who bats for the wrong team along with the fact that he likes me isn't too appealing to me.
Am I a bad person for cutting off all ties with him? What do I do?
A few days ago he started getting really touchy feely around me and I got pretty uncomfortable. He told me he 'liked' me, I was pretty shocked. He then leaned in and try to kiss me. Needless to say, I haven't run that fast in my life.
He's been calling and texting me ever since saying he's sorry and that he was drunk or whatnot, but he admits to being a 'homo'. I'm not really a homophobe, but the idea of hanging around a person who bats for the wrong team along with the fact that he likes me isn't too appealing to me.
Am I a bad person for cutting off all ties with him? What do I do?
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wel..dont cut off completely..but make sure that you'r around people when you are with him..like i feel the best you can do to restrict is stop hanging out alone with him..in this way youll not feel bad as well!
so? he is still the same person...
I think you should maybe give him a bit of space, so he can get over his crush or whatever. But don't distance yourself from him too much as this will make him feel even worse. Just try and be friendly but not overfriendly as you don't want to give him false hope.
if your friendship meant little enough for you to run a mile at that then in all honesty he is better off without you.
Just tell him, you don't feel that way about him, and just want him as a friend.
Make it clear (nicely) that you have no romantic/sexual interest in him.
There's no reason you should cut off all ties just because he's gay; as hupper12345 said, he's still the same person.
Make it clear (nicely) that you have no romantic/sexual interest in him.
There's no reason you should cut off all ties just because he's gay; as hupper12345 said, he's still the same person.
Psyk
Just be straight with him and tell him there's no way you could ever be interested in him in that way. See if he can deal with that and stay friends.
I feel like it's gone beyond repair though. There'll always be that 'tension' between us and it's something I don't want to face.
That sounds difficult. I'm sure he knows that you would be feeling uncomfortable. Personally, I wouldn't care and I would be okay hanging around with him, as long as my other friends were not horrible to him.
You are much better informed than any of us to make this decision - after all, you know all the details and are his friend. If you are thinking about cutting him off completely, though, he obviously doesn't mean that much to you.
You are much better informed than any of us to make this decision - after all, you know all the details and are his friend. If you are thinking about cutting him off completely, though, he obviously doesn't mean that much to you.
triccccccky to be fair tho its the same sit if a lass whose your mate wants your pants and you dont want to go for it. tiz awkward and best to cut ties. would be fine if he was just a gay mate, but a gay mate that fancies you?!?! nahh best to back away
curiouslyorange1989
triccccccky to be fair tho its the same sit if a lass whose your mate wants your pants and you dont want to go for it. tiz awkward and best to cut ties. would be fine if he was just a gay mate, but a gay mate that fancies you?!?! nahh best to back away
So you should cut off all ties with people known to fancy you just because you're not interested in them? I doubt you think that - your comment sounds homophobic to me.
saved9901
So you should cut off all ties with people known to fancy you just because you're not interested in them? I doubt you think that - your comment sounds homophobic to me.
haha balls mate am into drama and half my mates are gay....
its like this its an awkward and irritating situation if someone comes on to you as obviously as that (its not even just a little flirting its full on shot down) so to avoid emotional confrontation its best avoided. I qualified my post by pointing out it would be the same with a needy lass...
curiouslyorange1989
haha balls mate am into drama and half my mates are gay....
its like this its an awkward and irritating situation if someone comes on to you as obviously as that (its not even just a little flirting its full on shot down) so to avoid emotional confrontation its best avoided. I qualified my post by pointing out it would be the same with a needy lass...
its like this its an awkward and irritating situation if someone comes on to you as obviously as that (its not even just a little flirting its full on shot down) so to avoid emotional confrontation its best avoided. I qualified my post by pointing out it would be the same with a needy lass...
That's largely irrelevant, and I know you did - I'm just not convinced that you would completely reject a 'needy lass' in the same way. That was my point.
saved9901
That's largely irrelevant, and I know you did - I'm just not convinced that you would completely reject a 'needy lass' in the same way. That was my point.
put it this way if someone tried to snog me and i had to shoot them down like that i would avoid them in the future, be it lad or lass...
you cant accuse me of homophobia if im perfectly ok with socialising with gay people....
curiouslyorange1989
put it this way if someone tried to snog me and i had to shoot them down like that i would avoid them in the future, be it lad or lass...
you cant accuse me of homophobia if im perfectly ok with socialising with gay people....
you cant accuse me of homophobia if im perfectly ok with socialising with gay people....
I didn't - I just said that your comment came across as homophobic. Anyway, that sounds a bit harsh - don't you think the OP and this guy could get over it in time and be friends again?
lets put this into perspective....
if it was a lass who u didnt like who did the same thing would u cut off all ties with her? n react in the same way?
x
if it was a lass who u didnt like who did the same thing would u cut off all ties with her? n react in the same way?
x
saved9901
I didn't - I just said that your comment came across as homophobic. Anyway, that sounds a bit harsh - don't you think the OP and this guy could get over it in time and be friends again?
once he got over the infatuation...but imagine the first conversation after that happened, urgh i shudder at the thought, he would be all upset for being rejected and the other guy not only has to deal with rejecting someone, but also rejecting his mate whose just come out the closet, its an emotional minefield and one highly difficult to cross as a regular 18yr old lad.
if your straight it means your unattracted to people of your own gender, so its almost the same as having an ugly mate lass come on to you, which would just result in extreme awkwardness...
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