had a rough couple of days. bf is being unsupportive, and called me a whore Watch

Ciel.
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the past few days ive been having really bad mood swings. spent a couple of days away from home, maybe 4, 5. binge drinking, partying, overdoing it a little with benzos and other stuff. my bf's so furious with me.

but i needed space. all he said to me today was "get out of my sight, you whore". i have some pretty obvious marks on me, so i couldn't even deny it. but i just couldn't think clearly. i felt like a different person. and i still feel a bit ike that. plus the drugs/alcohol combo. i barely even remember doing it. i know i need to get tested, becaue i'm noe sure if they even used protection. i just feel like they took advantage me me due to me being so out of it.i want himto knw the full story. but he won't talk to me. i just don't know how to get through to him?
Last edited by Ciel.; 2 weeks ago
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The Mogg
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All power to him.
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UWS
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I'm not sure what advice you want to hear because you've been unstable in previous relationships but you probably might want to get professional help?
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sinfonietta
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Give him space for now.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by UWS)
I'm not sure what advice you want to hear because you've been unstable in previous relationships but you probably might want to get professional help?
idk either.. but i don't want to talk to my irl friends about it because it's too humiliating. 'professional' help doesn't do **** if you have high levels of self awareness..

(Original post by The Mogg)
All power to him.
what do you mean?
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Rock Fan
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I am afraid not much we can say here
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byeongkwans
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He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, especially when you’re in a vulnerable state. Get professional help, alcohol and benzos are a disaster waiting to happen. Not to mention how awful benzo withdrawal is.
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Tonic Water
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Oh how the tables have turned.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
Give him space for now.
i'm trying to but it's awkward, because we live together.
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guong
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you should definitely have communicate with him like, listen im going through something (or explain it all) and i don't expect you to understand but please i just need you there as support you mean sm to me etc

"i know i need to get tested im not sure if they even used protection" just clarification, sex?
if it is sex, then i can understand your bf's side more because you just cheated on him, whether you meant to or not, you did it

dont spam or overcrowd him, just send him a message explaining everything and asking him to be there for you and then leave it
he's sure to read it, but don't spam him
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AngryRedhead
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So you basically got raped whilst you were out of your head on benzo’s and alcohol?
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The Mogg
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(Original post by Ciel.)
what do you mean?
I mean, all power to him. As soon as you cheat you lose all leverage on deciding what happens next, what he does next is solely at his discretion, and if I was him I know what I would do without a doubt.

Edit: Reading over it again, if it was in the area of rape then that's a different matter entirely.
Last edited by The Mogg; 2 weeks ago
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guong
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all you can do is respect him, do your best to explain to him but don't force him to listen, just calmly tell him please just listen, or message him
and if he doesn't want anymore than that then
you cant do anything
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
I am afraid not much we can say here
what's the point of commenting then
(Original post by byeongkwans)
He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, especially when you’re in a vulnerable state. Get professional help, alcohol and benzos are a disaster waiting to happen. Not to mention how awful benzo withdrawal is.
i know it's a dangerous combo, but i know how to do it right. i'm not even addicted, so there's no risk of withdrawal etc.
(Original post by guong)
you should definitely have communicate with him like, listen im going through something (or explain it all) and i don't expect you to understand but please i just need you there as support you mean sm to me etc

"i know i need to get tested im not sure if they even used protection" just clarification, sex?
if it is sex, then i can understand your bf's side more because you just cheated on him, whether you meant to or not, you did it

dont spam or overcrowd him, just send him a message explaining everything and asking him to be there for you and then leave it
he's sure to read it, but don't spam him
we ive together tho. and yeah, it was sex.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Ciel.)
what's the point of commenting then
because so many times we give you advice but you slap it back in our faces, any wonder many people have no sympathy anymore
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MidgetFever
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I wish there was something I could say that would be of some use, but your relationship judging by previous posts sounds quite complicated. All I can say is that I hope it works out for you, and if it doesn't and you need to vent to someone then I'm more than willing to listen.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by HAFIZ M.BiLAL)
I am Muslim in Pakistan
why should i care
(Original post by AngryRedhead)
So you basically got raped whilst you were out of your head on benzo’s and alcohol?
i don't want to call it that. my memory is all fuzzy, but unfortunately it's very possible that i encouraged them in some way, etc. i can be very flirtatious when i'm drunk. so i don't want to make any serious accusations like that. but imho, it's just not okay to have sex with a very drunk/drugged person
(Original post by The Mogg)
I mean, all power to him. As soon as you cheat you lose all leverage on deciding what happens next, what he does next is solely at his discretion, and if I was him I know what I would do without a doubt.

Edit: Reading over it again, if it was in the area of rape then that's a different matter entirely.
ah. i see.
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strictlylover
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you need professional help but you won't seek it. not much we can do here.
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AngryRedhead
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(Original post by Ciel.)
why should i care

i don't want to call it that. my memory is all fuzzy, but unfortunately it's very possible that i encouraged them in some way, etc. i can be very flirtatious when i'm drunk. so i don't want to make any serious accusations like that. but imho, it's just not okay to have sex with a very drunk/drugged person

ah. i see.
If you were a girl most people would say it’s rape so I don’t see why it’s different just because you’re a guy. You probably got raped, if you were out of your head to the extent you don’t remember coming on to anybody or sex itself
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bennyj901
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TIL; Men can be called whores.

But anyway, you seem to keep running into problems with this guy, to the point where being together doesn't even sound enjoyable in the slightest. My girlfriend and I have had a bad few weeks too, due to her worrying about her non existent weight problem, but we still always enjoy talking and have never had a serious fight over it, name called or upset one another. Disagreements and arguments are normal, and it would be really weird if you have been in a relationship where the two of you never disagree or have a few conflicts, but it is how those are dealt with is what matters most. If there is name calling, lack of trust, communication and constant issues then that seems like a pretty flawed relationship to me.
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