No friends in uni, almost breaking up for Christmas Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
As the title says, I have NO friends in uni. I'm in second year of uni and I feel as if the situation isn't getting any better. This year I really went out and attended freshers fair by myself and signed up to a variety of societies.
I went to a few and met people here and there, no follow up after it. With the people I connected with, I exchanged contact details then I would be the one to suggest outings which would not be implemented. The other societies I signed up to were inactive even when I contacted them via email there was no progress or any information about any of the upcoming events which I found so disappointing as I was looking forward for them to start and was interested in some of them.
My course size has gone smaller and everyone is fixed on hanging and being around the people who they were in first years, and not open to others mixing along. I have tried and I often get left in the background, not noticed or talked to. I'm forever inserting myself in, and nothing feels reciprocated.
I'm a bit alone and it's getting to me and my family are starting to point it out at me, which I find embarrassing.
I live in private halls and share a flat with two girls from different universities, I hardly see them and it's further down the year to even fake interactions or suggest something because I moved in early October and they've been there since August. I'm really bored on the weekends and during the week and don't have any plans or anything to look forward to. I'm in the process of looking for jobs which I know will take an entirety. I don't know what else I can do or expect, right now I'm just waiting on for June of 2021 so I can graduate and move on. I also plan to study a masters degree in uni after my current degree but this time I'm moving to Manchester and I can't wait because I love it there.
Any-who, I just need some advice...
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
As the title says, I have NO friends in uni. I'm in second year of uni and I feel as if the situation isn't getting any better. This year I really went out and attended freshers fair by myself and signed up to a variety of societies.
I went to a few and met people here and there, no follow up after it. With the people I connected with, I exchanged contact details then I would be the one to suggest outings which would not be implemented. The other societies I signed up to were inactive even when I contacted them via email there was no progress or any information about any of the upcoming events which I found so disappointing as I was looking forward for them to start and was interested in some of them.
My course size has gone smaller and everyone is fixed on hanging and being around the people who they were in first years, and not open to others mixing along. I have tried and I often get left in the background, not noticed or talked to. I'm forever inserting myself in, and nothing feels reciprocated.
I'm a bit alone and it's getting to me and my family are starting to point it out at me, which I find embarrassing.
I live in private halls and share a flat with two girls from different universities, I hardly see them and it's further down the year to even fake interactions or suggest something because I moved in early October and they've been there since August. I'm really bored on the weekends and during the week and don't have any plans or anything to look forward to. I'm in the process of looking for jobs which I know will take an entirety. I don't know what else I can do or expect, right now I'm just waiting on for June of 2021 so I can graduate and move on. I also plan to study a masters degree in uni after my current degree but this time I'm moving to Manchester and I can't wait because I love it there.
Any-who, I just need some advice...
Hi, I’ve seen quite a few of your posts. I would really recommend counselling for you, since it seems like this is an internal issue. You would have someone to talk to about your feelings, and they may be able to guide you with why you’re not making friends.

Also, and I know it’s cliched and annoying, but if you’re desperate for friends, you will put out a ‘needy’ vibe and cause people to avoid you. It could be good for you to work on accepting your current situation for what it is, instead of desperately thinking ‘I NEED friends!!!’ Ironically, once you become okay with being on your own, you tend to make friends as you exude confidence and satisfaction with yourself.

But yeah, I really think you could use counselling. Your uni would have a free service, or your city. It would be worth enquiring.
1
reply
H0llyc
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 weeks ago
#3
I would say just hang in there, maybe try finding friends online and chatting to people through there, maybe meet up after that? I’m sure there will always be people to be friends with, and I’m guessing you still keep in touch with friends from sixth form so maybe meet up with them?
1
reply
Anonymous #3
#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
What uni you at?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I’ve seen quite a few of your posts. I would really recommend counselling for you, since it seems like this is an internal issue. You would have someone to talk to about your feelings, and they may be able to guide you with why you’re not making friends.

Also, and I know it’s cliched and annoying, but if you’re desperate for friends, you will put out a ‘needy’ vibe and cause people to avoid you. It could be good for you to work on accepting your current situation for what it is, instead of desperately thinking ‘I NEED friends!!!’ Ironically, once you become okay with being on your own, you tend to make friends as you exude confidence and satisfaction with yourself.

But yeah, I really think you could use counselling. Your uni would have a free service, or your city. It would be worth enquiring.
Well counselling it is, many have suggested that I should seek help and express my feelings and I'll probably just do it. At first it was affecting my studies as I was more concentrated on how to make friends than completing my assignment but I've kind of accepted for what it is, I'm sure friends will come to me naturally.
I'm not really desperate to have friends but it would be a nice thing to have them, at least one or two where we would do nice things together etc. I'm become immune to being alone that I don't think much about it, it's just my family who pity me for being "alone". I think they have some stigma/problem about people being alone is a bad thing which I don't think it is. It gives people time to realise traits about themselves or be free from negativity.
0
reply
study beats
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
I was at uni for 4 years and I never made any friends
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by H0llyc)
I would say just hang in there, maybe try finding friends online and chatting to people through there, maybe meet up after that? I’m sure there will always be people to be friends with, and I’m guessing you still keep in touch with friends from sixth form so maybe meet up with them?
How long would I need to 'hang in there'? I fear as we return from Christmas I'm going to be experiencing the same problem with no resolution. I did try Bumble BFF in the summer and interacted with people there, I do want to meet the people in real life but my family are control freaks and even if i wasn't to tell them that I'm travelling to... they will still find out via a location tracker app which I have been warned and lectured by relatives not to disable.
And yeah I do keep in contact with my friends from college, we speak occasionally and it's nice, I plan to go back home and hopefully see some of them during Christmas.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • Bournemouth University
    Midwifery Open Day at Portsmouth Campus Undergraduate
    Wed, 18 Dec '19
  • The University of Law
    Open Day – GDL and LPC - Chester campus Postgraduate
    Sat, 4 Jan '20
  • University of East Anglia
    Mini Open Day Undergraduate
    Mon, 6 Jan '20

Did you vote in the 2019 general election?

Yes (275)
48.16%
No (65)
11.38%
I'm not old enough (231)
40.46%

Watched Threads

View All