Am I disabled? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I can’t look after myself at 18, I am female, I would say I don’t have good hygiene as I don’t shower often and still in the habit of baby habits or before puberty. I shower once a week, change my underwear once a week or twice when I have my period, change clothes after every shower/bath, scared/fearful of water and can’t swim, put deodorant or antiperspirant sometimes when I feel like I stink. My problem is sometimes I can’t smell the stink and my siblings would tell me that I smell, and when I realise I smell myself that’s when i know it’s really bad. I think I am like this because I was really ill when I was younger and was used to my mum doing everything for me, and puberty kicked in at the age of 10 when I only just got better from my other symptoms and I was expected to grow up fast and general weakness, my arms look like twigs. I am worried that after I fix my hygiene habits, my future husband might not be able to be around me and have to tell me that I smell.
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Anonymous #1
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Anyone else struggling to grow up/late bloomer due to sickness or massive health issues/genetic disorders?
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markova21
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Being dirty and having poor personal hygiene is not a disability.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by markova21)
Being dirty and having poor personal hygiene is not a disability.
What if your mum has to help you with your long hair at 18? Surely I am disabled then, I am way too old to need help from my mum, mind you I don’t look like a normal 18 year old female, I look like a developed 12 year old due to the genetic disorder. My mum is still willing to help me at my big age..which is crazy. I keep telling her no but she won’t listen and she said it doesn’t matter how old you are, you are still a baby in your mothers eyes. She’s overprotective because of my illnesses, and not like this with my other siblings who all came out normal.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by markova21)
Being dirty and having poor personal hygiene is not a disability.
I don’t have learning disabilities when it comes to school though. Really strong at GCSE and first year of A level.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I can’t look after myself at 18, I am female, I would say I don’t have good hygiene as I don’t shower often and still in the habit of baby habits or before puberty. I shower once a week, change my underwear once a week or twice when I have my period, change clothes after every shower/bath, scared/fearful of water and can’t swim, put deodorant or antiperspirant sometimes when I feel like I stink. My problem is sometimes I can’t smell the stink and my siblings would tell me that I smell, and when I realise I smell myself that’s when i know it’s really bad. I think I am like this because I was really ill when I was younger and was used to my mum doing everything for me, and puberty kicked in at the age of 10 when I only just got better from my other symptoms and I was expected to grow up fast and general weakness, my arms look like twigs. I am worried that after I fix my hygiene habits, my future husband might not be able to be around me and have to tell me that I smell.
Of course you aren't disabled - I think you just need to grow up a little bit and stop playing the victim
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Anonymous #2
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How is your mental health? It could be because of depression.
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markova21
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What if your mum has to help you with your long hair at 18? Surely I am disabled then, I am way too old to need help from my mum, mind you I don’t look like a normal 18 year old female, I look like a developed 12 year old due to the genetic disorder. My mum is still willing to help me at my big age..which is crazy. I keep telling her no but she won’t listen and she said it doesn’t matter how old you are, you are still a baby in your mothers eyes. She’s overprotective because of my illnesses, and not like this with my other siblings who all came out normal.
Ask your GP if your genetic disorder makes you classed as disabled. As for your mother having to help you with your long hair at age 18... Well keep it at a short and manageable length. Your mother won 't be around to baby you forever. You have to grow up and learn to become independent at some point. The sooner you learn self reliance the better and easier your life will become.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
Of course you aren't disabled - I think you just need to grow up a little bit and stop playing the victim
I’m not playing the victim and need to grow up in but I am finding it hard, which is why I made this thread because I know it’s not normal to not be able to do stuff at 18. There’s people out there in my year having babies at my age and me that can’t even take care of myself 😂😂


A boy in my year bullied me for no apparent reason when I was 16 because he somehow heard that my mum helps me in the bath and told all the boys and spread rumours about me and curse me, and he called me disabled hence the title of the thread is “am I disabled?” That time my mum didn’t used to help me, not as much anyway because I was well.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How is your mental health? It could be because of depression.
Mental health was not great towards the end of last year, used to self harm and was depressed at one point due to not being able to study anymore because illness was preventing me and got depressed over being forced to drop out of college at 17 and bullying throughout school years, but I got help for that and I am not depressed right now. Depression has a different effect on me when it comes to taking care of myself, it’s even worse than my poor hygiene on normal days. Right now I don’t self harm anymore and I feel fine.
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doodle_333
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It depends why you don't shower. You've not given any real reason you're unable to maintain your hygiene. If you can shower weekly you can do the same daily, you just choose not to. You haven't said you're physically unable to dress yourself therefore you could change clothes daily just fine. If your hair is unmanageable you could cut it, or just put shampoo in at the top and it'll rinse through the rest, better than nothing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by doodle_333)
It depends why you don't shower. You've not given any real reason you're unable to maintain your hygiene. If you can shower weekly you can do the same daily, you just choose not to. You haven't said you're physically unable to dress yourself therefore you could change clothes daily just fine. If your hair is unmanageable you could cut it, or just put shampoo in at the top and it'll rinse through the rest, better than nothing.
Well the question I need to ask in general to everyone is do you wash your butt/private parts after pooing/peeing? Because we have jugs like watering cans in our bathrooms and wash with those after doing our business in the bathroom, so we tend to wash every 3 days at least. You would need to shower or bath daily if you just wipe after using the toilet, your insides would stink.
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Anonymous #1
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*we tend to shower
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Emiluu
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I shower every day. But to answer main question it sounds like u may be mentally ill rather than disabled as u mentioned depression, a symptom of which can be poor hygiene as u don’t have the will to take good care of urself.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well the question I need to ask in general to everyone is do you wash your butt/private parts after pooing/peeing? Because we have jugs like watering cans in our bathrooms and wash with those after doing our business in the bathroom, so we tend to wash every 3 days at least. You would need to shower or bath daily if you just wipe after using the toilet, your insides would stink.
it's not poo and wee that is causing the majority of the smell

it's your sweat, it doesn't matter how well you wash your butt... your armpits/groin/etc will be sweaty and dirty
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Kindred
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Poor hygiene and self care, lack of knowledge and experience etc aren't a disability by themselves. They could be caused by one and it sounds like in your case there were/ are some health issues involved. From what you've said though it doesn't sound like you have those health issues now so you're not disabled.
I should note that mental health issues can be a disability (not all physical or mental health issues are a disability, but both can be).

I guess you could argue that maybe you're to some extent a vulnerable person if you've lost out on a lot of life experience. Really though I wouldn't worry too much about lables. A lot of people are lacking some rather fundamental life experience and some people are just lazy etc too. You're by no means the only person who's needing to play catch up or learn things about hygiene. This is the situation you're in now, you've identified it and that's a great start so now you can start trying to catch up. If you think it might help you could look into getting some help like counselling or therapy to help process the issues you had in childhood and how they are affecting you now. But otherwise just learn what the basics are (change your pants once a day and wash yourself once a week would be a good start) and set reminders, reward yourself for doing it etc. It takes some time to form new habits, but it does happen. Keep at it and it will start feeling a lot more natural and easy.


But yeah a disability is a medical condition or symptoms that have a significant and long term impact on your day to day life. What you have does obviously have some pretty significant impact, but it's more through lack of experience than anything medical (at least at this point).
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IH8Studying
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Why do you need help having a bath??? Do you have mobility issues
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Kindred
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Oh and if you would like some advice on how to manage self care its totally okay to ask. You can do that on here, on sites or groups for your condition or you could ask your GP.

Even if you aren't disabled (which none of us can say for sure cos we don't know your whole situation) that doesn't mean you're alone and can't get any support. There's loads of people who aren't disabled who are still unwell or struggling with certain things.

Sounds like in your case one thing that might help is getting some support with your relationship with your mum and sort of getting her to realise that one way to protect you is to help you be independent. If you're being treated like a child you're being denied a full life and thats I'm sure not what she wants for you.
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itscourtchicks
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As said above, you need to learn to be independent - now rather than later, as you will soon be out in the big bad world and don't want to be figuring out how to wash your hair when you have to sort out taxes or are applying for a job. You are 18 after all.
Good personal hygiene will definitely improve your standard of living - buy good deodorant, some perfume or body spray, body wipes if you really don't feel up for a shower, some dry shampoo etc. And get a haircut to have more manageable hair length - this may also help you feel like a newer person.
I'd say a visit to the doctor is needed also. You may have relapsed back into your depression. All of you symptoms (bad hygiene, not being able to do things for yourself etc.) are effects of depression. But I'm not expert.
You've also said about a genetic condition - perhaps this affects your mental health in some way? Again, this is something important to talk to your doctor about, and how to manage with the condition by yourself when you are going to live independently.
And try to phone the GP yourself to make your own appointment.
Some other things: Do you have a part time job? Do you have friends? Do you do many things outside of school? How are you eating? etc. etc.
Last edited by itscourtchicks; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by itscourtchicks)
As said above, you need to learn to be independent - now rather than later, as you will soon be out in the big bad world and don't want to be figuring out how to wash your hair when you have to sort out taxes or are applying for a job. You are 18 after all.
Good personal hygiene will definitely improve your standard of living - buy good deodorant, some perfume or body spray, body wipes if you really don't feel up for a shower, some dry shampoo etc. And get a haircut to have more manageable hair length - this may also help you feel like a newer person.
I'd say a visit to the doctor is needed also. You may have relapsed back into your depression. All of you symptoms (bad hygiene, not being able to do things for yourself etc.) are effects of depression. But I'm not expert.
You've also said about a genetic condition - perhaps this affects your mental health in some way? Again, this is something important to talk to your doctor about, and how to manage with the condition by yourself when you are going to live independently.
And try to phone the GP yourself to make your own appointment.
Some other things: Do you have a part time job? Do you have friends? Do you do many things outside of school? How are you eating? etc. etc.
No I don’t have a part time job, yes I have friends from school, no I don’t do anything outside school, I eat sometimes and struggle to eat 2 meals a day and never snack in between due to the genetic disorder causing digestive problems
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