Am I disabled? Watch

Anonymous #1
#21
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#21
(Original post by IH8Studying)
Why do you need help having a bath??? Do you have mobility issues
No, the fact that I have no physical strength whatsoever and my arms are literally twigs (not even exaggerating, it’s part of the condition I was born with which I will have for life) or my mum would say, birds arms, makes it difficult to wash my hair.
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Anonymous #3
#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well the question I need to ask in general to everyone is do you wash your butt/private parts after pooing/peeing? Because we have jugs like watering cans in our bathrooms and wash with those after doing our business in the bathroom, so we tend to wash every 3 days at least. You would need to shower or bath daily if you just wipe after using the toilet, your insides would stink.
Are you Muslim?

Because you have stated that you wash your bum after doing a number 2 ?
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itscourtchicks
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
No I don’t have a part time job, yes I have friends from school, no I don’t do anything outside school, I eat sometimes and struggle to eat 2 meals a day and never snack in between due to the genetic disorder causing digestive problems
Okay, I think I understand more about your situation - why exactly your mother needs to help you wash (low muscle mass?) and you eating too little I suspect. In any case, can you do us a favour and go and see your doctor? I’m not sure if you go regularly or haven’t been in years, but you need some sort of plan made with/by your doctor in order to help you. What about a physiotherapist for your low muscle mass? Perhaps you can talk to your GP about this? But maybe you don’t need one, I’m not sure. Still, go and talk to your doctor as they have much more knowledge. There’s not much else anyone on here can do.
Wish you well
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thatonegamer
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t have learning disabilities when it comes to school though. Really strong at GCSE and first year of A level.
Tbh you can still have a learning disability and do well at studies.

I agree with others though. Lack of motivation can be a symptom of depression and it doesn't go away on its own. I stopped having suicidal thoughts in therapy but I had other symptoms of depression. For example, I may not want to hurt myself but I still hate myself and constantly focus on the negative.
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doodle_333
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
No, the fact that I have no physical strength whatsoever and my arms are literally twigs (not even exaggerating, it’s part of the condition I was born with which I will have for life) or my mum would say, birds arms, makes it difficult to wash my hair.
Have you had physiotherapy? It doesn't take much strength to wash your hair so if you are genuinely so weak it's impossible you should be having physio to help that.
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Kindred
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
No, the fact that I have no physical strength whatsoever and my arms are literally twigs (not even exaggerating, it’s part of the condition I was born with which I will have for life) or my mum would say, birds arms, makes it difficult to wash my hair.
Hey okay so I've commented a couple of times already. Sorry for the spamming. Your story get deeper and deeper and makes more and more sense as you keep commenting though. To start with it sounded like you HAD medical problems that affected your self care and that you are now fully capable physically, but not in the habit of good self care now.
But the more you comment the more it sounds like you are still affected by medical issues and will continue to be for the rest of your life to at least some extent. Looking back it seems like I also missed some comments in you OP that suggested you still have some physical issues.

It sounds to me like you're just starting to get a feel for adult life and the wider world and how that relates to your situation. That must be a really confusing thing so I'm going to try to cover a few things. Some of it might be obvious or irrelevant or whatever so please just skip and roll your eyes at me if that does happen. But life doesn't always make much sense when you've started off experiencing things so differently so I'm going to try to explain things as much as possible just in case there is something you've missed out on (or maybe other people reading this even).

Disability isn't what a lot of people think it is. It's not like you apply to the government or your doctor and get a certificate that says "this person is disabled". Disability has different levels (like social and legal) so depending on the situation somebody might be disabled some of the time, but not other. It's not totally black and white and for the most part it's up to the individual how they identify.

As far as getting benefits, support at work etc goes there are boxes you need to tick, but that's not really weather you are disabled or not, it's weather you are disabled in the right way or to the right extent. So for example someone in a wheelchair could be physically disabled, but they might be able to manage that perfectly fine themselves so wouldn't ask for support at work because they know they can manage it. Or somebody might have difficulty with certain every day things enough to be beyond "normal", but not enough that they would need additional support like benefits.

You can also be unwell, but not quite to the extent that you would consider yourself disabled. You might look and feel pretty normal, but there are certain things you would need support with and in those situations you would fall under the disabled catagory.

It's all a bit of a mess and basically as long as you fall somewhere in the disability definition (you can find the actual wording on the .gov website but it's basically that you have long term symptoms that significantly affect day to day activities) you can choose when to refer to yourself as disabled, when to ask for support etc. You might not always be eligible for the support, but that identification of yourself as disabled isn't decided by if you are eligible for support, it's if you fit that definition of disability.

From what you've said it sounds like you're somewhere on that scale. It sounds like you have significant weakness in your arms (and potentially other parts of your body?) that mean things like washing your hair are difficult. Thigns like washing your hair, tieing shoe laces, boiling pasta in a pan, wiping your bum, putting clothes into a washing machine etc are some basic day to day activities and it sounds like they probably aren't as possible for you as they should be.

If that is the case then you are somewhere in that area where you could reasonably call yourself disabled. You can also use words like unwell, ill, impaired etc if you prefer them. Really it's a personal choice.

If you often need your mum to help with those sorts of things then you might also find you are entitled to some form of support. That might be thigs like physio to help you learn to do them by yourself, a carer to come help you with those thigns so you're not so reliant on mum or equipment that helps you or another person do those things more easily.
It might be worth talking to your GP about an assessment to see what sort of support you could benefit from. If you ever go to uni you can also apply for something called DSA which helps disabled students (and students who just have some extra needs) access education without their issues getting in the way as much.

You might also benefit from joining a support group. There are various types but basically they are all people in similar situations discuss thigns. In your case that might mean joining a group online for young people with chronic illnesses and discussing being independent when you've been reliant on a parent for so long, how to tackle personal hygiene, how to date, funny memes related to your situation etc.

As far as habits, life experience etc go and thigns like having somebody to tell you when you smell... That might be a pretty big issue for you now but there is definitely hope. You've had a kind of slow start cos there's been a lot of hurdles, but humans form habits it's like this natural instinct for us. Even as adults we can form new habits and things that used to be hard can become very simple. If you spend some time making a real point of doing things you'll eventually get used to it.
Like for instance you can start cleaning yourself (be that bath, shower, wet wipes etc) the same day each week. Set reminders on your phone, do it the same time and try to set it around a routine you already have (like going to bed or waking up). It will be hard to start with and feel unnatural but eventually your body will learn that Wednesday night is bath night.

Or if a full body clean is a bit much for you you can start with washing your pits in the sink or something. Whatever is do-able for you. Small steps are still good.


You can work out a few milestones you want to reach and work towards them. You could even ask mum, siblings, GP, teachers, friends or whoever else to help with that. Those goals are totally up to you but they might be things like regular washing, making a basic meal like a sandwich, getting a bus, taking your medication, washing your dishes after a meal or even changing your pants each day. Whatever manageable thing you want to learn to do.
Start with one pretty simple thing and get yourself a bit more used to reminding yourself to do stuff and take it from there. Go at whatever pace is right for you. Maybe each night you can ask your mum to leave pants on your door handle so then in the morning you'll be able to remember to put them on. Then start putting them out yourself each night or finding them in your wardrobe each morning.

Try to get your mum on board with helping teach you to be more independent. She'll still be carigg for you and doing her motherly duty, but it will be helping you to grow too instead of keeping you in this awkward not quite grown up state.


Anyway sorry for all the posts. I hope its not been too annoying for you and that what I've said makes sense. If you do want to find a support group Facebook can be a good place. Most groups are private so only members can see posts and you can always create a separate account that doesn't have your full real name so you can post more anonymously.
I'll stop rambling now cos I've gone quite far away from your title question and I don't want to be a total annoyance for you. I just feel like my first comment was kinda unhelpful after reading a bit more of your situation so I didn't want to leave it like that.
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Anonymous #1
#27
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
Are you Muslim?

Because you have stated that you wash your bum after doing a number 2 ?
Yes I am, what’s that got to do with anything?

and yes I wash my bum and privates after doing a number 1 and 2.
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Anonymous #1
#28
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#28
(Original post by Kindred)
Hey okay so I've commented a couple of times already. Sorry for the spamming. Your story get deeper and deeper and makes more and more sense as you keep commenting though. To start with it sounded like you HAD medical problems that affected your self care and that you are now fully capable physically, but not in the habit of good self care now.
But the more you comment the more it sounds like you are still affected by medical issues and will continue to be for the rest of your life to at least some extent. Looking back it seems like I also missed some comments in you OP that suggested you still have some physical issues.

It sounds to me like you're just starting to get a feel for adult life and the wider world and how that relates to your situation. That must be a really confusing thing so I'm going to try to cover a few things. Some of it might be obvious or irrelevant or whatever so please just skip and roll your eyes at me if that does happen. But life doesn't always make much sense when you've started off experiencing things so differently so I'm going to try to explain things as much as possible just in case there is something you've missed out on (or maybe other people reading this even).

Disability isn't what a lot of people think it is. It's not like you apply to the government or your doctor and get a certificate that says "this person is disabled". Disability has different levels (like social and legal) so depending on the situation somebody might be disabled some of the time, but not other. It's not totally black and white and for the most part it's up to the individual how they identify.

As far as getting benefits, support at work etc goes there are boxes you need to tick, but that's not really weather you are disabled or not, it's weather you are disabled in the right way or to the right extent. So for example someone in a wheelchair could be physically disabled, but they might be able to manage that perfectly fine themselves so wouldn't ask for support at work because they know they can manage it. Or somebody might have difficulty with certain every day things enough to be beyond "normal", but not enough that they would need additional support like benefits.

You can also be unwell, but not quite to the extent that you would consider yourself disabled. You might look and feel pretty normal, but there are certain things you would need support with and in those situations you would fall under the disabled catagory.

It's all a bit of a mess and basically as long as you fall somewhere in the disability definition (you can find the actual wording on the .gov website but it's basically that you have long term symptoms that significantly affect day to day activities) you can choose when to refer to yourself as disabled, when to ask for support etc. You might not always be eligible for the support, but that identification of yourself as disabled isn't decided by if you are eligible for support, it's if you fit that definition of disability.

From what you've said it sounds like you're somewhere on that scale. It sounds like you have significant weakness in your arms (and potentially other parts of your body?) that mean things like washing your hair are difficult. Thigns like washing your hair, tieing shoe laces, boiling pasta in a pan, wiping your bum, putting clothes into a washing machine etc are some basic day to day activities and it sounds like they probably aren't as possible for you as they should be.

If that is the case then you are somewhere in that area where you could reasonably call yourself disabled. You can also use words like unwell, ill, impaired etc if you prefer them. Really it's a personal choice.

If you often need your mum to help with those sorts of things then you might also find you are entitled to some form of support. That might be thigs like physio to help you learn to do them by yourself, a carer to come help you with those thigns so you're not so reliant on mum or equipment that helps you or another person do those things more easily.
It might be worth talking to your GP about an assessment to see what sort of support you could benefit from. If you ever go to uni you can also apply for something called DSA which helps disabled students (and students who just have some extra needs) access education without their issues getting in the way as much.

You might also benefit from joining a support group. There are various types but basically they are all people in similar situations discuss thigns. In your case that might mean joining a group online for young people with chronic illnesses and discussing being independent when you've been reliant on a parent for so long, how to tackle personal hygiene, how to date, funny memes related to your situation etc.

As far as habits, life experience etc go and thigns like having somebody to tell you when you smell... That might be a pretty big issue for you now but there is definitely hope. You've had a kind of slow start cos there's been a lot of hurdles, but humans form habits it's like this natural instinct for us. Even as adults we can form new habits and things that used to be hard can become very simple. If you spend some time making a real point of doing things you'll eventually get used to it.
Like for instance you can start cleaning yourself (be that bath, shower, wet wipes etc) the same day each week. Set reminders on your phone, do it the same time and try to set it around a routine you already have (like going to bed or waking up). It will be hard to start with and feel unnatural but eventually your body will learn that Wednesday night is bath night.

Or if a full body clean is a bit much for you you can start with washing your pits in the sink or something. Whatever is do-able for you. Small steps are still good.


You can work out a few milestones you want to reach and work towards them. You could even ask mum, siblings, GP, teachers, friends or whoever else to help with that. Those goals are totally up to you but they might be things like regular washing, making a basic meal like a sandwich, getting a bus, taking your medication, washing your dishes after a meal or even changing your pants each day. Whatever manageable thing you want to learn to do.
Start with one pretty simple thing and get yourself a bit more used to reminding yourself to do stuff and take it from there. Go at whatever pace is right for you. Maybe each night you can ask your mum to leave pants on your door handle so then in the morning you'll be able to remember to put them on. Then start putting them out yourself each night or finding them in your wardrobe each morning.

Try to get your mum on board with helping teach you to be more independent. She'll still be carigg for you and doing her motherly duty, but it will be helping you to grow too instead of keeping you in this awkward not quite grown up state.


Anyway sorry for all the posts. I hope its not been too annoying for you and that what I've said makes sense. If you do want to find a support group Facebook can be a good place. Most groups are private so only members can see posts and you can always create a separate account that doesn't have your full real name so you can post more anonymously.
I'll stop rambling now cos I've gone quite far away from your title question and I don't want to be a total annoyance for you. I just feel like my first comment was kinda unhelpful after reading a bit more of your situation so I didn't want to leave it like that.
Hi,

I have been declared LCW by the DWP so I don’t need to look for work but go on online courses and training courses.

I can’t wash my hair, but I can tie my shoe laces, I can’t boil pasta in a pan, I am wiping my bum, I can put clothes into a washing machine. Recently I started scrubbing my own body by myself, but before my mum used to do that for me too which is embarrassing after puberty because everything is developed, my mum saw I don’t need much help in the shower so she leaves me to it but I am always there grabbing the wall because I don’t like the sprinkler directly touching my face due to fear of water so I move my head in the opposite direction and then wash the rest of my body under the shower wet and I used to do this every sundays because as a baby and a child up to the age of when my sister hit puberty I shared baths with her and my mum used to bath us on Sundays and I am still used to that, and my younger 11 year old sister (7 year age gap due to me being sick, she’s not ill and is fine) supervises me sometimes and mum leaves me to it. Recently though I stopped bathing on sundays, after depression hit me I snapped out of my habits of bathing on sundays and don’t feel like bathing at all, I hate bath times due to fear of water or bubbles going inside my eyes, I can’t swim at all and I am scared of drowning. I used to put butter/Nutella on bread before but I find it difficult to spread it properly, can’t cook a meal to save my life and my mum is too overprotective when it comes to that, only experience I had with that was from food technology in secondary school and I hated it and I managed to dice onions but never cracked an egg or actually cooked and got someone else to do that for me out of fear of doing the wrong thing/burning myself/being raw. No one knew that I can’t do these things by myself and I wouldn’t tell anyone because it’s embarrassing, I was 14 at the time and looked healthier back then. I can get a bus but find it difficult to remember or read maps, I need someone to show me how to get there once and I can do it, and as long as it’s nearby and not too far away I can go on my own, my parents are pretty overprotective due to my height (4 ft 7 due to the disorder) and my general weakness so I usually travel with someone, I sometimes get lost and have to go to various places just to come home. One time My sister told me which train to take to take my mum to her check up cancer appointment in batts hospital and I managed to actually change from DLR to the central line which is a big step for me! I didn’t get lost, only once I got on the wrong train and changed quickly and Had to ask one person for directions but that was it, we made it home. As for taking my medication, I can take medication.but struggle to swallow tablets due to my hollow tube and anxiety as I always feel like it gets stuck in my throat so I either crush it up and eat it with water or take so many spoonfuls of syrup. I can wash dishes but gets difficult if plates are fat and big and heavy, I end up dropping them.

I don’t think I am disabled to the point where I need my mum to put my pants on the door handle, I can just put on new clothes every day, it’s not a problem, but I am always scared that I will run out of clothes. My secondary school made us have an assembly on female hygiene one day, it was a girls only assembly (we were 14) and we were told to change our clothes every day or at most every 2 days but I just don’t do it.

I think I am disabled but to an extent, I can do certain things on my own and the main issue is probably cooking and showering, when I was younger I used to tidy up after my sister and do dusting but ever since secondary I didn’t have time for this tariff because studies get more important and there’s a lot to study for.

I was so strong from the ages of 8-10, those were my good years, I might have had health problems but physically I looked like o had a bit of Weight and arms didn’t look as bad because I was shorter but I obviously wasn’t healthy due to the disorder as I was only 3 and a bit stoned. From the age of 11, I started fasting, at 10. I was supposed to fast because I hit puberty but my primary school wouldn’t allow year 5s to fast at the time and mum didn’t allow it because I was 3 stones and had my first hypoglycaemic episode and kept vomiting stomach acid at school, then went home, went to sleep and felt better but I had blackouts ever since then. I was very strong back then because i used to be able to fast even without sunrise meal, I was strong up to the age of 14, there was a time when I blacked out during Ramadan at 14 and had to break one (only broke that one and missed my period) because of the episode but I didn’t know it was a hypoglycaemic one. I have one episode every month/2 months. It happened again at 15 and I did not break it as it was close to sunset and managed 2 and a half hours with low blood sugar, it was more severe than when I was 14. When I hit 16/17 I got sick again and having more issues which aren’t associated with my disorder, After my last period I had issues with low blood sugar for a week and had random feelings of feeling faint so had to have sweets and fizzy drinks and eat a lot for a week when I suffered from that and was really bad when I woke up from sleep. I am all better because I ate and fixed my body, for the first 3 days I didn’t tell my mum and thought my insides were burning for no reason, then I went to sleep and woke up dizzy so I told mum and doctors don’t believe I suffer from hypoglycaemia and say it’s in my head, it’s a symptom of my disorder. Not even eating a meal helps when I feel faint, only fizzy drink and chocolate and THEN the carb meal. Because of my disorder, I don’t eat much and also at risk of fasting hypoglycaemia because of that and my big head to body ratio. Head is normal for my age but not body, but anyway I have a feeling my mum would still want to take care of me (she does more than my younger sister, I get the most attention due to sickness) because I am having newer issues now.

Sorry I went off topic here.
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Kindred
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

I have been declared LCW by the DWP so I don’t need to look for work but go on online courses and training courses.

I can’t wash my hair, but I can tie my shoe laces, I can’t boil pasta in a pan, I am wiping my bum, I can put clothes into a washing machine. Recently I started scrubbing my own body by myself, but before my mum used to do that for me too which is embarrassing after puberty because everything is developed, my mum saw I don’t need much help in the shower so she leaves me to it but I am always there grabbing the wall because I don’t like the sprinkler directly touching my face due to fear of water so I move my head in the opposite direction and then wash the rest of my body under the shower wet and I used to do this every sundays because as a baby and a child up to the age of when my sister hit puberty I shared baths with her and my mum used to bath us on Sundays and I am still used to that, and my younger 11 year old sister (7 year age gap due to me being sick, she’s not ill and is fine) supervises me sometimes and mum leaves me to it. Recently though I stopped bathing on sundays, after depression hit me I snapped out of my habits of bathing on sundays and don’t feel like bathing at all, I hate bath times due to fear of water or bubbles going inside my eyes, I can’t swim at all and I am scared of drowning. I used to put butter/Nutella on bread before but I find it difficult to spread it properly, can’t cook a meal to save my life and my mum is too overprotective when it comes to that, only experience I had with that was from food technology in secondary school and I hated it and I managed to dice onions but never cracked an egg or actually cooked and got someone else to do that for me out of fear of doing the wrong thing/burning myself/being raw. No one knew that I can’t do these things by myself and I wouldn’t tell anyone because it’s embarrassing, I was 14 at the time and looked healthier back then. I can get a bus but find it difficult to remember or read maps, I need someone to show me how to get there once and I can do it, and as long as it’s nearby and not too far away I can go on my own, my parents are pretty overprotective due to my height (4 ft 7 due to the disorder) and my general weakness so I usually travel with someone, I sometimes get lost and have to go to various places just to come home. One time My sister told me which train to take to take my mum to her check up cancer appointment in batts hospital and I managed to actually change from DLR to the central line which is a big step for me! I didn’t get lost, only once I got on the wrong train and changed quickly and Had to ask one person for directions but that was it, we made it home. As for taking my medication, I can take medication.but struggle to swallow tablets due to my hollow tube and anxiety as I always feel like it gets stuck in my throat so I either crush it up and eat it with water or take so many spoonfuls of syrup. I can wash dishes but gets difficult if plates are fat and big and heavy, I end up dropping them.

I don’t think I am disabled to the point where I need my mum to put my pants on the door handle, I can just put on new clothes every day, it’s not a problem, but I am always scared that I will run out of clothes. My secondary school made us have an assembly on female hygiene one day, it was a girls only assembly (we were 14) and we were told to change our clothes every day or at most every 2 days but I just don’t do it.

I think I am disabled but to an extent, I can do certain things on my own and the main issue is probably cooking and showering, when I was younger I used to tidy up after my sister and do dusting but ever since secondary I didn’t have time for this tariff because studies get more important and there’s a lot to study for.

I was so strong from the ages of 8-10, those were my good years, I might have had health problems but physically I looked like o had a bit of Weight and arms didn’t look as bad because I was shorter but I obviously wasn’t healthy due to the disorder as I was only 3 and a bit stoned. From the age of 11, I started fasting, at 10. I was supposed to fast because I hit puberty but my primary school wouldn’t allow year 5s to fast at the time and mum didn’t allow it because I was 3 stones and had my first hypoglycaemic episode and kept vomiting stomach acid at school, then went home, went to sleep and felt better but I had blackouts ever since then. I was very strong back then because i used to be able to fast even without sunrise meal, I was strong up to the age of 14, there was a time when I blacked out during Ramadan at 14 and had to break one (only broke that one and missed my period) because of the episode but I didn’t know it was a hypoglycaemic one. I have one episode every month/2 months. It happened again at 15 and I did not break it as it was close to sunset and managed 2 and a half hours with low blood sugar, it was more severe than when I was 14. When I hit 16/17 I got sick again and having more issues which aren’t associated with my disorder, After my last disorder I had issues with low blood sugar for a week and had random feelings of feeling faint so had to have sweets and fizzy drinks and eat a lot for a week when I suffered from that and was really bad when I woke up from sleep. I am all better because I ate and fixed my body, for the first 3 days I didn’t tell my mum and thought my insides were burning for no reason, then I went to sleep and woke up dizzy so I told mum and doctors don’t believe I suffer from hypoglycaemia and say it’s in my head, it’s a symptom of my disorder. Not even eating a meal helps when I feel faint, only fizzy drink and chocolate and THEN the carb meal. Because of my disorder, I don’t eat much and also at risk of fasting hypoglycaemia because of that and my big head to body ratio. Head is normal for my age but not body, but anyway I have a feeling my mum would still want to take care of me (she does more than my younger sister, I get the most attention due to sickness) because I am having newer issues now.

Sorry I went off topic here.
No worries about going off topic. This is your thread so go wherever you want with it.

Sorry if any of the things I said were a bit condescending by the way. I was joust giving some examples, not trying to suggest they would definately be things you can't manage. With the pants thing especially I realise that's a bit of a stupid thing to say to a teen/ young adult but I was just trying to give an example of how someone could help remind you and get you into a routine if you're finding it hard by yourself.

It sounds like you have a rather complex situation with both physical and mental health playing a role. It's totally understandable that you would have some difficulties with various things on either a physical level or through that loss of experience and routine. I promise you though that health people are often surprisintngly incapable too (like so many teenagers can't cook!).

Sounds like you're at a point where you would like to start moving forwards and becoming a bit more independent. That's absolutely your choice. This is your life and your body so it's up to you what you do. Obviously thay becomes a bit complicated when you're reliant on others in some way (and a lot of people can find it hard just from general parental opinion let alone actually having some level of physical reliance on them), but try to think about and express what you want and work towards that. If you don't think your mum will be too keen on it you can think of some small steps and compromises. You travel independently some of the time and have moved on from her helping you scrub etc so maybe you could also learn to microwave a meal, put some frozen food in the oven or something basic like that. Or another step in your personal hygiene maybe. Just baby steps not "mum I don't need you anymore and want to be totally independent" and you couwwork out a way to phrase it that's more attractive to her. Like maybe play into her being able to teach you or suggest it as just something you could do when she isn't around.

What you said about disability makes a lot of sense. Very few people are fully disabled and some can do loads of stuff, but not a couple of basic things. It sounds like you are disabled to ab extent yourself, but what you want to call that, who you want to tell etc is totally up to you. It's not something you need to be branded with. It's more just an observation that you have these difficulties.

It sounds like you've done quite well already. You've had that bout of depression which it sounds like you've come out of, you have made some steps towards independent washing etc and it sounds like physically and mentally you're managing a pretty complicated situation. That's awesome. Build on that how you want to.

I know you've moved out of that depressed period in your life, but it sounds like it could be worth talking to go about some counselling or therapy of some sort to help you with this fear of water. It sounds like that might even be affecting you more than your physical issues to some extent and it could be really great for you if you're able to cope with water better.

At your age it is totally reasonable to want independence nomatter what your physical situation. Independence can mean different things to different people, but whatever it means to you it is totally okay to be wanting that and moving towards that. It sounds like your mum cares about you and wants to support you, but it can be easy to focus so much on caring for your kids that you actually end up limiting or hurting them. Try to work something out with you mum so she can still feel like she's caring for you, but you can also feel like an adult.

Like I said above support groups might be helpful with that cos people will have some similar experiences and be able to talk things through with more of an understanding of your situation.


Good luck with everything.
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kingbamylover997
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#30
Report 6 days ago
#30
I used to be in your situation. I never used to shower/bath much I never could be bothered and I used to get severely bullied from it. I used to badly smell I would get named called and beaten up because I was different. my mum wouldn't care about me so social services got involved and took me away and now I've realized when I went into the bath more often than I did I made new friends and I didn't get bullied as much as I did before and it made such a big impact on my life I feel like my advice to u is have showers and baths even if u don't want to put yourself in there u only really ned to be in the shower for about 5-10 mins if that and change your clothes after 2 wears and put fresh underwear on every day x
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Anonymous #3
#31
Report 6 days ago
#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I am, what’s that got to do with anything?

and yes I wash my bum and privates after doing a number 1 and 2.
How much do you wash
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Anonymous #1
#32
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
How much do you wash
Every time I use the toilet
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Anonymous #4
#33
Report 6 days ago
#33
Seems like a form of either depression or commitment issues of moving on in life. I use to get panic attacks while in my bed at the thought of not sleeping in my bed because thats where i felt safe and didn't want to leave my bubble while sleeping. I also couldn't talk to girls, this was all up to the age of 17.

Took acting up at 17, by 19 was a manager at a sales place, was the top sales men and had to lead to morning talks and meetings etc. However, I knew what was wrong with me, not quite sure with yourself, maybe self reflect and write down the wrongs and write the knowing solutions, take them to a GP get their advice and act on them. For me acting was the catalyst to help me project my inner confidence and fight my inner demons.

Bit off topic, but i personally found (now that im 23) that listening to Jordan Peterson and his advice really helped me in adult life and not reverting back to my old self, which can happen alot.
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