Parents are threatening to kick me out unless I leave my older bf

im 17 and my bf is 44 and my parents have found out about this and are now saying if I don't leave him they will kick me out the house, I couldn't help it hes a lovely guy unlike guys my own age who are so immature, surely its not wrong despite the big age gap, and hes not married either so don't see where the problem is, how can I convince my parents to stop kicking me out?

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Don't blame them tbh, it's like dating your dad 🤢

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

I’m also attracted to older men so I know what you mean but then I think about from his perspective and he SHOULD NOT be attracted to a 17year old girl

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

but it's not like im illegal

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

I get you are technically above the legal age of consent, but I totally understand where your parents are coming from. A 44 year old man dating a 17 is dodgy at best. I'm 18 and I couldn't even date a 16 year old. And if you think about it, there's not that much difference between a 17 year old and a 15 year old looks-wise and maturity-wise.
This man is literally older than my dad.
I personally really wouldn't trust him anyway, but if you really trust him for whatever reason, I would sit down with your parents and ask them why they want you to break up with him. I imagine they have very similar concerns/suspicions.

Reply 5

Anonymous #5

he only with you because he wants a young fresh girl

Reply 6

bubblecat

it’s morally wrong for a 44 year old to be with a 17 year old - so much potential for grooming, manipulation and control to happen. It’s predatory.

Reply 7

MidgetFever

The guy is probably a nonce and out to exploit your young, naive age. Your parents are just looking out for your safety at the end of the day, and I don't think they're in the wrong at all. I wouldn't want my young daughter dating such a person either, he's old enough to be your dad.

Reply 8

username4499734

I’d do the same lmaooo. Disgustangggggg

Reply 9

Anonymous #6

Original post by Anonymous

He's a loser for dating a 17 year old girl
a failure as an adult man

Reply 10

Wirt

Your parents are trying to protect you, but I don’t agree that kicking you out the house is a fair threat to make. That’s only going to put you in more danger.

In my experience, exploitative/abusive-manipulative people are quite happy to let their partners sabotage their relationship with their parents because it serves their purpose - to get you isolated so they can mould and influence you.

This guy you’re interested in, is he insistent that you repair the relationship with your family? Is he concerned about you ruining your family bond? Any person who loves you and cares about you won’t want you to sever ties with your family. They will not make you choose. They will not want to you to push your family away so they can be in your life. Any decent person who saw the upheaval they’re causing in your life would leave you be.

I want to be open-minded, but I do not believe that any decent 44 year old man would feel right dating a 17 year old.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 11

username5036440

44........ you must be kidding.

Honestly, break up with this man (ASAP) and get on with school. Far too young to be dating someone who is nearly half a century old!

Reply 12

Anonymous #7

i have to agree with your parents really, although i don’t think kicking you out is the best way to deal with it, but either way just think like being with him will affect your whole life, you’re still in education and he’s middle aged, there is no way it could work out and it seems like nonce behaviour, go and live your life as a young person and make the most of it

Reply 13

username5036440

As for the fact that you don't see a problem with it, I am a year older than you and even then cannot imagine going for someone 2 years younger than me. Vile. Especially because the difference in maturity between those under 18 and those in their early 20s and onwards is vast. I seriously would question his motives for dating someone so young, even if he seems lovely. There is no way a person so old would go for someone so young - why is he not dating women his own age?

I know your emotions are involved, but the sooner you break up and move on with your life, the better. Not worth it.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 14

ANM775

Original post by Anonymous

I am suspicious of this story.
Literally a third to half of all topics posted here are by trolls.

Any parent with half a brain would know the first place you'd turn to upon being kicked out is the 44 year old man. You'd go straight over to his place and likely move in with him. This I am sure is not your parents goal. Kicking you out would just push you closer together.

Reply 15

username47781

Most of the time it's pretty clear what his intentions are

Reply 16

username3942526

wow that age gap is mad. I think you should listen to your parents.

Reply 17

TheAlchemistress

A 44 year old would NOT be with a 17 year old. You are under age here. This is grooming as you are not 18!

You should watch the documentary how dad killed mum?

He groomed a 13 year old and got her pregnant and killed her. She was sexually exploited by gangs multiple times.

Reply 18

username4986690

Their house, their rules.

Reply 19

ANM775

Original post by Discrepancy

It's not grooming unless the girl is under 16

No one has ever been convicted of grooming a 16+ girl

Once a girl reaches the age of consent, it's not grooming.