First year at uni and antisocial. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Hello,
I'm a fresher at uni and I don't socialise much because I think it's too much effort. After a long week I prefer to stay home on my own rather than go partying. However, I know that if I keep going that way I'll end up with no friends and will struggle to find housemates for 2nd year.
It's not like I completely isolate myself, I talk to other people from my course, it's just that I don't really go to events, parties, outings or anything. It's been about 2 and half months since I've come to uni and I've only went out about 5-6 times/below 10 times.
What I think is a major contributing factor to my being antisocial is the fact that I live on private accommodation outside of campus, with my sister. We made this decision due to stuff that don't matter since what's done is done and it's not like I can switch to halls or anything.
This doesn't bother me too much but I know it's not healthy and that I should put some effort and put myself out there to socialise more, but I don't know how and I feel like it's too stressful or that people have already made groups of friends or whatever and it's too late for me to join in or make friends myself.
I'm not usually like that because back in my homecountry I have quite a few good friends whom I talk to on a regular basis and when I'm home I hang out with them quite a lot.
Idk why exactly I post this, I also know it's kinda messy but I wanted to get it out there and maybe get some advice or something.
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Karen May
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#2
Report 1 week ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello,
I'm a fresher at uni and I don't socialise much because I think it's too much effort. After a long week I prefer to stay home on my own rather than go partying. However, I know that if I keep going that way I'll end up with no friends and will struggle to find housemates for 2nd year.
It's not like I completely isolate myself, I talk to other people from my course, it's just that I don't really go to events, parties, outings or anything. It's been about 2 and half months since I've come to uni and I've only went out about 5-6 times/below 10 times.
What I think is a major contributing factor to my being antisocial is the fact that I live on private accommodation outside of campus, with my sister. We made this decision due to stuff that don't matter since what's done is done and it's not like I can switch to halls or anything.
This doesn't bother me too much but I know it's not healthy and that I should put some effort and put myself out there to socialise more, but I don't know how and I feel like it's too stressful or that people have already made groups of friends or whatever and it's too late for me to join in or make friends myself.
I'm not usually like that because back in my homecountry I have quite a few good friends whom I talk to on a regular basis and when I'm home I hang out with them quite a lot.
Idk why exactly I post this, I also know it's kinda messy but I wanted to get it out there and maybe get some advice or something.
Hello,

I graduated uni this year and I want to say this: DO NOT WORRY! I know it may seem daunting and that everyone around you has made friends but the truth is they haven't. In 1st Year most people do not know anyone before attending uni. Only a small few of the groups of 'friends' you see now will remain friends until graduation or even the end of First Year.

I was similar to you in that I like my own space. My idea of relaxing after a long week is staying at home, eating some food and watching a movie by myself. Not everyone likes to go out and that's perfectly fine. In my first year people tried to pressure me to go out partying (as if thats the only way of meeting new people) but I did not give in. While it's important that you seek new experiences, it's also important that you stay true to yourself and do what makes you comfortable. I lived on campus first year and was still considered 'antisocial'.

I met people by attending a couple (literally 2) society events in my first year. Check out your university societies that interest you and try attending one event. This is how I met the one and only true friend I made at uni. Across my 3 years I developed relationships with people but I wouldn't call them friends. That takes time to develop. I am a christian so I also met people by attending church. Churches often have good groups for university students to connect and support each other.You have only been at uni for a couple of months, it's definitely NOT too late to meet new people and make friends.So don't be hard on yourself. I have always been an introvert, meeting new people seems like a lot of work and sometimes makes me nervous so I relate to what you are saying.

So in short this is what I think you should do:

- Select societies that interest you (There are societies that represent home countries for students. For example, my university had a Caribbean society and a Chinese society) Also by going to society events that interest you, you are more likely to meet people you have more things in common with.
- Choose 1 or 2 society events to attend and attend these events with your sister if you don't want to go by yourself. Make that extra effort to go to just one event.
- DON'T RUSH and DON'T WORRY - most students in 1st year around this time are worrying about making friends and 2nd year accommodation just like you. It's normal but everything will work out. Speak to your student Union who can offer you support and advice. In university you only need 1 or 2 good friends, rather than a big group of people. I made the mistake of rushing to find 'friends' to live with and for 2nd year and I ended up living with someone who was nightmare for the rest of my time at university. You're still settling in to this country and your university so you have plenty of time
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YaliaV
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#3
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I agree with Karen May. You don’t have to go out drinking to make friends and there’s no need to become someone else in order to fit in. Relax and only socialise if you really want to.
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username5063564
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello,
I'm a fresher at uni and I don't socialise much because I think it's too much effort. After a long week I prefer to stay home on my own rather than go partying. However, I know that if I keep going that way I'll end up with no friends and will struggle to find housemates for 2nd year.
It's not like I completely isolate myself, I talk to other people from my course, it's just that I don't really go to events, parties, outings or anything. It's been about 2 and half months since I've come to uni and I've only went out about 5-6 times/below 10 times.
What I think is a major contributing factor to my being antisocial is the fact that I live on private accommodation outside of campus, with my sister. We made this decision due to stuff that don't matter since what's done is done and it's not like I can switch to halls or anything.
This doesn't bother me too much but I know it's not healthy and that I should put some effort and put myself out there to socialise more, but I don't know how and I feel like it's too stressful or that people have already made groups of friends or whatever and it's too late for me to join in or make friends myself.
I'm not usually like that because back in my homecountry I have quite a few good friends whom I talk to on a regular basis and when I'm home I hang out with them quite a lot.
Idk why exactly I post this, I also know it's kinda messy but I wanted to get it out there and maybe get some advice or something.
Hey, this is a dolly surely - don't socialise with social people socialise with anti-social people. If that sounds like an oxymoron it is! There's alot of pressure to fit into a uni stereotype of being out there and getting blasted and having crazy friends who get arrested. But honestly there is nothing fun about being arrested. Uni is about finding out who YOU are and not being overwhelmed by other people. Is there anything you enjoy? When I told people I was the Chess Captain (total nerd) turns out many of my friends liked chess too - it's about finding yourself; look deep.
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