Unlucky with finding friends at uni Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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I think I’ve been really unlucky with finding/making friends at uni. I’ve been the most social I can be in terms of trying out 5/6 societies as well as being up for going to any event that the uni puts on (by myself sometimes if no one I know is going). Yet I still haven’t really found people I click with. Everyone I do get along with in lectures or my flatmates seem to not be bothered about making other friends and are happy to just go to uni and then go home. It’s coming up to Christmas and I’ve still not had much luck which is disheartening. Did anyone else have a similar situation in first year or has any advice on what I should do??
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Anonymous #2
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Yeah I've experienced something similar to an extent when I was in first year. And having the privilege of living in halls of residence sharing with 7 other girls - I thought it would make everything better and I'll be friends and such with them. Turns out after the 1 year of living them, they meant nothing to me. Listen, my first year experience was so complete hell, I was so bored and had no one to engage with. I was in uni 3x a week and spent my two days off sleeping and eating in my room as well as doing my assignments because I had no plans or anything todo with.
I even went along to the uni societies alone in hope to meet people to become friends with but didn't gain anything from it. I wish I have advice to give you but I can barely give myself any. I'm currently in second year and I think my problem has either barely or slightly improved. I joined a society and met a cool person who I've been in contact since, we often arrange to meet up during our breaks which lifts a weight off my shoulder. I've suggested that we should do something together outside of uni which never seems to be implemented, I'm going to ask again, this time face to face and see if she's down to going to those Christmas markets in town. I have no one else but her who I truly get a long with, have social interactions with etc.
I'm in second year and the chances of finding my group are slim, and at this point I've accepted it. As long as my friend is open to having me as a friend and vice versa it's good.
I just don't want to be embarrassed at graduation day where I'll have no one to walk down the aisle with/take pictures with etc. Oh I'm dreading that day but also excited for it, I can't wait to be done with uni for real.
My experiences thus far haven't been the best, and I'm about dreading third year as well. Just praying for these years to fast forward quick, literally done with everything.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I’ve been really unlucky with finding/making friends at uni. I’ve been the most social I can be in terms of trying out 5/6 societies as well as being up for going to any event that the uni puts on (by myself sometimes if no one I know is going). Yet I still haven’t really found people I click with. Everyone I do get along with in lectures or my flatmates seem to not be bothered about making other friends and are happy to just go to uni and then go home. It’s coming up to Christmas and I’ve still not had much luck which is disheartening. Did anyone else have a similar situation in first year or has any advice on what I should do??
Something I’m really beginning to realise is that you can’t force friendships with people. Keep doing what you’re doing, but I really think you should change your mindset a bit. If you go around with the mindset of ‘I need to make friends otherwise everything will be terrible’, you will find yourself acting desperate (even if you don’t intend to). Once you begin to like your own company and accept that you're a bit lonely at the moment (without feeling bad about it), your mindset will change to ‘if I make friends, great. If I don’t, that’s okay too. I’ll be fine either way’. Try to spend this temporary lonely period really getting to know yourself by journalling, listening to music etc. Then you’ll find people may gravitate towards you more, and they’ll be YOUR kind of people because you’ll be meeting them doing things you genuinely love, and you’ll be more authentic.

It’s easier said than done I know, but I hope this makes sense.
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University of Bradford
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I’ve been really unlucky with finding/making friends at uni. I’ve been the most social I can be in terms of trying out 5/6 societies as well as being up for going to any event that the uni puts on (by myself sometimes if no one I know is going). Yet I still haven’t really found people I click with. Everyone I do get along with in lectures or my flatmates seem to not be bothered about making other friends and are happy to just go to uni and then go home. It’s coming up to Christmas and I’ve still not had much luck which is disheartening. Did anyone else have a similar situation in first year or has any advice on what I should do??
Hey!

I'm sorry to hear this, but well done for making the effort and going out and trying lots of societies!

I know people who didn't make their lifelong friends until their last year, and I know people who didn't make close friends at university at all, but instead found them at their workplace after university. So you're definitely not alone in this, but I know how disheartening it can be.

Do you have close friendships outside of university? It might be nice to spend some time over Christmas with them, or family. Perhaps you could look into volunteering to meet new people, or take up a hobby outside of uni?

Good luck with everything

Becky
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Anonymous #4
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Which uni? Maybe some people might go to the same one
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