I'm 18 and a guy. Basically I haven't been out on a friday or saturday in about 3-4 years. Obviously I have been out at some point in those times but that would be simple and worthless things like going to the shop or having to pick up something or having to drop someone off, rubbish things like that. I've always been a mummy's boy, my mum has high standards of me, she doesn't want me meeting girls or drinking, anytime I do go out she must always kno wwhere I went or else she starts to panic ... she's not mad, she doesn't tell me nay of this but i can tell after living with her for so long. She wants me to live a life according to her happinness in a way.
I know you may think that this is not a serious problem but when you've been programmed to live like this for this long then it is a problem. I'm 18 and I'm not a socil recluse, I'm not ugly, I'm not obese, I'm a normal guy inside.
I had problems at school including being quite ill, it stopped me from functioning alltogether. Had I been totally fine and settled in one school for a perod of time and being healthy then I know I would have made a number of friends and would have an active social life. I have been slowly rebuilding my life in the last year.
A number of years back I used to do things like sleepovers, maybe go into the town to play snooker etc but even when I was happy with my social life I had about 10 mates, went out regularly with about 5. I met people, I didn't hide but it just didn't happen with other people. They were just people I knew, simple as that.
Nowadays I've turned into a young adult, things are different. Nowadays when people go out they always seem to go out in groups of lik 10 and get a real buzz going. I'm not used to doing things like this! I normally would just got to a friends house to piss about at his house etc .. and now I think about it it just makes me feel silly.
I have almost a mental barrier with the weekend I have problems asking people to go out at the weekends, and I don't like talking about the weekends, especially when they say what did you get upto at the weekend? When I think about asking someone to go out somewhere, I don't know where I want them to come out to because I don't go out! The last time I went to a cinema was like 1 year ago. and secondly I always think they'll look at me and think ' you're a loner, don't you have any of your own friends to be going out with ' I just don't feel worthy of asking people to come out at weekends (not that I have many people to ask) and also I have friends from the past but it makes me feel very sad to ask them 2 years after last seeing them to come out ... that signals desperation.
Also it seems like EVERYONE goes out and gets bladdered and they all go in their packs of 10-20 friends and have a great night and it's like I feel stupid when people ask what did you get upto and I say something like 'I went to play golf and went to the cinema' (not that I do) I now feel this is the type of stuff 13 year olds do with their 13 year old mates. I feel people judge me if I don't go out getting drunk, I don't know why it just feels that way.
Even when at home i don't take care of myself, i leave things lying all over the place, I'm currently eating dinner in my boxers (sorry for detail lol) because I can't be asked to change .... i don't even watch tv anymore or programmes i used to although my TV is on. I used to take an interest in different shows, now I don't bother My mum complains i never come downstairs and am in my room ALL the time.
Literally all I do on these evenings is go on computer, watch TV, that is it! My brother has some sever problems so he stays in his room, and my mum just does odd jobs downstairs in the front room. My dad doesn't live with me. This is what happens every single Friday/Saturday/Sunday night .... well every night of the week really.
I struggle socially but not that badly! If you saw me chatting to someone you would think I had no problems socially. I just feel like I'm living the life of a 65 year old. What's also annoying is when you speak to people and they're telling you how great their weekend was and how many girls' numbers they got.
That just makes me realise what a boring life I have. Everyone is going on holidays now and everything. I know you might say Uni can change all of that and I hope it will ... but at the end of the day I'll be an adult then having to look after myself and having to worry about finances and having to pay for myself. I believe the best years of your life should be around 16/17/18/19 when you still have the freedom to enjoy yourself without any huge pressure on your shoulders. Unfortunately this is not the case for me.
I always get reminders of my crappy life .... there's this guy in college who repeatedly says 'i have no life ' and my friend the other day asked what i was going to do on the weekend and I said I'm going football and he was kind of expecting me to say something else as if it wasn't enough.
Let me just make it clear I don't know anyone that I see regularly eg college that goes parties or whatever with other college mates. it's like they all lead separate lives and only 2 people in my class goes to alcoholic parties and that's with their old school mates who still see each other regularly. I really really don't know what the rest get upto in their social time.
I go to the gym at the weekend and go football, that's it though. I do nothing else. And the thing is that means I have to go home, and I have NOTHING to do at home other than waste my life on my PC.
Much to my surprise I was invited to a dinner party and I will be going. Only thing is I haven't been out to a social event in so long I forgotten what it is like to meet people at a restuarant and sit opposite each other and talk. Also who pays, it's this guys birthday, do I pay or does he? I should know these things really! I'm not comfortable going but will, socially not used to scenes like that.
Let me add I am not depressed encase anyone thinks so ... I'm just lacking anything to make me feel genuinely happy. It just feels like everything that could have possibly gone wrong on the social side of my life, has.
What should I do?