Eating disorder

My friend has recognized she has an eating disorder after a long time. She is prepared to consider getting help and I wondered if anyone could offer me help and experience of how to go about supporting her.

Thanks so much if you can help me to help her to get through this.

Reply 1

Becky_90

Try to keep your friendship as normal as possible. I had a friend who self harmed (Though its not the same as a eating disorder), and if the issue dominated the friendship it was often hard for us to get along. Got to remember its still the same friend and friendship, they just have things to work though.
Dont nag them about talking to you, but let them know you are there if you need to talk and you're willing to listen.

I hope things go well for both you and your friend :smile:

Reply 2

cillitbang

the only thing i'd say don't do is mention weight, size - i.e. looking through magazines or whatever, anything about food unless she mentions it. just try to show that it doesn't change anything.

and kudos to her for recognizing a problem.

Reply 3

princess1729

I'd say generally be a great friend, and be fun, cheerful, etc. There will be plenty of people, professionals she goes to, her parents I assume, who will be serious about it. Although be prepared to have a strong word if she gets back into old habits. As someone with eating problems, thats what I would have found best.

Reply 4

Charli88

Wow firstly i think its great that you'll be there for her, but make sure its for the long term! Having been that friend myself i found that at first i received a ton of attention and concern, and then as i actually started to get better my friends seemed to back off and eventually ignore me completely, which made me feel awful and like i actually needed the eating disorder to have friends!

Yeah try and arrange things to do with her that have NOTHING to do with food or things like swimming, as soon as my friends realised i was gaining weight they started to want to go out for meals to 'help' me, usually eating with others causes extreme anxiety to those with eating disorders and can actually lead to compensatory behaviours (purging or restriction before).

Finally just ask how she is feeling about things, if you must make comments then say 'you appear happier', nothing about her appearance, even comments like 'you are looking so much healthier' can be immediately translated into 'you are starting to put on loads of weight'. Remember the eating disordered voice fears being a 'healthy' weight.

And lastly just remember that she is still just your friend, she is not your anorexic friend and therefore should not be ostracized. She has an eating disorder, but this does not define her, in fact it is a small part of who she is. Help her to develop the better part of herself =]

xxxx

Reply 5

goldenballs20

Just generally be a good friend, be positive, be there for her and if she wants to talk be a good listener.

Listening is a massively underated skill!

I hope everything goes well for you and your friend :smile:

Reply 6

Son of Makuta

Distract her. My friend has depression and got diagnosed during the last uni term. For a while he was really bad, and I was a major crutch for him to lean on, I think. I found that the times when he was happiest would be while talking about unrelated things - girls, computers, other stuff that interested us both. Don't shy away from talking about it - doing so is often very difficult, but try and help her think through her situation. I've never suffered from depression or any similar problem, the worst I've ever had is the ordinary gnawing loneliness of being single. What he was going through was far worse than anything I've experienced, so I had to make do with just giving him clear, commonsense advice. I think that can help as much as anything, because when someone's in the grip of a mental condition they can't think clearly. Reassure her.

Also, whenever she shows signs of cheering up, tell her. Let her know she's getting better. That's definitely reassuring :smile: