Meeting people after uni

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la fille danse
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#1
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How the **** do you meet friends/boyfriends after uni?

Work is not an option. I'll be working in a nursery school. There's about 15 other members of staff, all female, all much older than me (I'm 20, they're about 25-65).

Going out at night is not an option. I have no friends.

What do you do when you need to start from scratch, literally?
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randomgirl
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Perhaps join some kind of class? Dance class or something. Go to the gym? Join a fitness class? Even if you only meet women, perhaps you can befriend them and then meet some of their male friends. Or you could try internet dating if you feel it's something you'd benefit from and be open to
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randdom
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It can be really tough to meet new people in a new city. As randomgirl said joining an evening class can be a great way for you to meet people who share similar interests to you. Other options are meeting people through housemates if you are living with others. I know that in Brighton their is a group on both gumtree and facebook that meet up every monday of people who are new to the area and want to "make friends" I don't know if there are things like this in other cities though I would assume that there are. Taking the first step is the tricky one but once you have met a few people you can meet their friend etc etc and you can meet new people like that
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SpiritedAway
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well, as randomgrirl said, an evening class would be ideal. if you wanted to meet both genders then do something everyone would be interested. maybe a language class, or like randomgirl said, a dance class, the gym.
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Reflexive
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Have you tried the net?
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icklebrov
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I'm glad someone has raised this topic. It's immensely difficult as i have seen with my older sister and i'm ****ting myself about when i graduate because i prob won't meet anyone at uni.

Like people have been saying - classes, hobbies, local politics?!,

Personally i would avoid the net.
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FM08
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this has crossed my mind as well. if you move to another city for uni and you come back 3/4 years later ..... you've just got to start from scratch again. and esecially in the career i want it's not that simple to make friends at the flick of a switch. it's quite scary to think what willl happen after Uni.
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Surprise
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you must have had a friend at one point? call them up and go out with them, then meet new people.
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Asclepius
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I work at a nursery, and all of the staff are older than me (I'm 18, they're generally around 24ish), but it doesn't mean that I'm unable to be friends with them, it's just a little bit hard to find some common ground to start with
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la fille danse
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(Original post by Alex L)
I work at a nursery, and all of the staff are older than me (I'm 18, they're generally around 24ish), but it doesn't mean that I'm unable to be friends with them, it's just a little bit hard to find some common ground to start with
Average age is around 40ish at my nursery...

you must have had a friend at one point? call them up and go out with them, then meet new people.
Not at this point. All my "friends" ignore me. I have one friend who lives in a different city.

I thought I made a good friend (from the same city as me) when I went travelling. We spent nearly every day together. Now that he's back with his home friends, he's ignoring me. :rolleyes: It figures.
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shunter7634
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Join a sports club (like hockey or something), you'll meet plenty of people there.
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Asclepius
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(Original post by la fille danse)
Average age is around 40ish at my nursery...
We have some older staff too, it's just that every room has younger staff too, so I guess I'm quite lucky in that respect. And they tend to be pretty cool with me from the off, because I'm a lad and that makes a difference to the usual staff they're with
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Blitzkrieg Bop
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I've been thinking about this too. I've just left uni where for the first time in my life, I met people who were so like me and I felt really comfortable and confident around. Now I feel like I've had to leave my 'perfect' friends and it has highlighted how my few 'friends' at home (of which I've seen very little of over the last 3 years) are not great. I need to find people like I met at uni.
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artorscience?
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Do a bit of volunteering in something you're interested in, be brave and go to your local alone to see if you can start chatting with anyone, bake biscuits and knock on your neighbours' doors, join a team/club, advertise for friends on the internet, ask at your place of work if people want to go for a night out (older people go out too and can be just as much fun)...

...I can give the advice, following it is he hard part.
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DoMakeSayThink
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I'd recommend trying some sports. Something like badminton can be very good - it attracts a nice mixture of men and women, is often very sociable during off court times. I can understand how it must be daunting. My sister just moved to a new city after living all but her university life in the same one, and it sounds scary.
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NoQualms
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I'm confused as to why Blitzrieg Bop-why you can't still be friends with your uni friends. When my sisters/bro left uni they all moved away from their best friends at uni but 5 yrs on they are still really good friends and see each other as often as they can-at least like once a month and speak all the time?
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Michelle598
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This is an issue I've been dealing with too, as I graduated from university this summer. I have a few people from my course who're also in London, where I live, but I'd like to meet new people too. One site I think looks especially useful is citysocialising.com, which has branches in lots of major cities and is divided into agegroups, so it's easy to find other young people.
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la fille danse
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(Original post by Michelle598)
This is an issue I've been dealing with too, as I graduated from university this summer. I have a few people from my course who're also in London, where I live, but I'd like to meet new people too. One site I think looks especially useful is citysocialising.com, which has branches in lots of major cities and is divided into agegroups, so it's easy to find other young people.
That is awesome, thanks, I joined!

http://london.citysocialising.com/profile_019334.asp = me
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Blitzkrieg Bop
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(Original post by NoQualms)
I'm confused as to why Blitzrieg Bop-why you can't still be friends with your uni friends. When my sisters/bro left uni they all moved away from their best friends at uni but 5 yrs on they are still really good friends and see each other as often as they can-at least like once a month and speak all the time?
Oh yes I fully intend to try and see them but I don't think I'll be able to do it very often as it does involve travelling a fair distance. I speak to them all the time online. I guess I'll just miss seeing them as often as I did at uni. I just wish we lived closer!
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Roxyroxy1
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Volunteer in group to eg take food to homeless at night,join drama groups ( there are lots of jobs apart from acting, ) knitting groups or other craft groups. Be the one to post the message and start new casual group with focus on eg touring the historical sites or architecture of the town. Meet at safe venue such as library. Advertise and canvass interest in forming eg art history group, all pay subscription. To find lecturer.Join local WEA classes or political party meetings and talks.Avoid meeting strangers in pub club settings where imbibing substances could make for risk. Good luck.
Last edited by Roxyroxy1; 1 year ago
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