I talk to myself a lot

Seems interesting but nothing to be worried about

Someone else made a thread about this issue, but I didn’t want to derail her thread with my own issue.

Often people say ‘it’s normal to talk to yourself’ but by that, I think they’re referring to people mumbling ‘where are my keys’ under their breath or something. Not to the extent that I do it. I have inside jokes with myself and I laugh out loud to them without meaning to. I say things out loud from past conversations, or conversations I want to take place. I even say things that I’ve read on online forums (like this) that I found interesting. I don’t talk loudly, it’s more a whisper, mutter, or I mouth the words.

It does worry me because I do it around people without meaning to, and it’s at the point where people eg my family and past friends have commented on it. I get weird looks in public sometimes. I’m at uni now doing computers science and I’m worried that people are noticing, although they’re not saying anything. I get the sense that people are avoiding me a bit, but I could be wrong. I don’t particularly want to be known as ‘that weird guy who mutters to himself’ lmao

It started getting bad for me when I went through a stressful period in year 12 of anxiety and feeling lonely. I guess this is how I coped with it.

On another thread, maladaptive daydreaming was suggested but I don’t know if it quite fits that, as it happens in short bursts throughout the day, instead of for long periods at one time.

It would be interesting to read people’s input.

I know but I don’t want to look like a weirdo, like people are constantly noticing

I think you're just being paranoid about people noticing - how do you know they're all looking at you whether it's in Comp Sci classes, or at home with your family or shopping? Unless someone has outright called you a weirdo to your face, I don't think you should be worried. Never care about what people think. I talk to myself when I'm shopping and don't really give a sh*t if people stare because 'let me be me, people!' :P Also, if you are worried then wear headphones and people will think you're talking to someone on the phone.

Loads of people talk to themselves for many different reasons. People aren't gonna know why you're talking to yourself - so the reason you think you're talking to yourself (loneliness/anxiety) doesn't matter at all.

So you said: eg my family and past friends have commented on it --> what have they actually said about it? If they're your family, they are probably only commenting on it because they care about you or they are worried something might be bugging or worrying you.

I have anxiety myself and I have lived alone for the last 2 years so I have to come home every weekend to see my fam otherwise it would drive me to insanity or worse. So because of the isolation in my flat and not really having many work friends or friends in general to keep me company during the week, i talk to myself. Like you, sometimes full on conversations or I describe a problem and try to solve with many solutions out loud.

Have you tried seeing a therapist or maybe going to a self help group to discuss your anxiety/loneliness problems with people who are suffering the same way?

Yeah people definitely notice. My mum has said to me ‘your dad notices that you talk to yourself’ but as you say, they’re probably just concerned. My sibling used to be like ‘were you on the phone just then?’ when he heard me doing it. A few years ago I had some friends who used to say ‘you were talking to yourself just then’. It was quite awkward because I worked for one of the friends, and he said ‘I don’t want customers telling me that you talk to yourself’ lol. There were also these two younger girls who I’d see in town, and they’d point at me and say ‘it’s the guy who talks to himself’ while laughing.

Headphones is a good idea, I try to play it off as me just singing if people point it out.

This has made me feel a lot better; I’m trying to curb it a bit. I don’t particularly care if strangers see me doing it, but there’s this girl I fancy and I don’t want her to see me doing it. Yeah counselling could be a good idea

Hey dude

Yeah your family and friends are probably concerned but maybe they're not too sure if they should expand on their concerns by actually discussing it. But seriously if you ever feel like discussing it openly with the people you trust like your parents or a best friend then go ahead and don't be afraid of feeling like they'll judge you because they're just there to solely listen and help.

As for the guy you work for - yeah that's just him being worried about his company and customers. That's perfectly normal for him to say from a colleague POV as work is just work and they need you to be on your game so they have more customers = more money. However from a friend POV, if you feel hurt or upset by how they approached you with it, I think maybe talk to them ONLY if you feel comfortable enough and trust them -- It depends on if they were your friend first before your colleague.

As for the younger girls - that's just teens being teens. I remember as a teen, whenever I'd go out with mates, they would make fun of random people in public cuz that's just what kids/teens do - I was a serious teen and would comment saying it's offensive but they don't care cuz they're just having some 'banter' as teens. So these girls were just passing the time and having a laugh. Trust me - what they said whilst pointing at you may seem personal to you at first but for them, it's just a running joke. To help them pass the time cuz they're bored. That's it. Don't let that type of sh*t bother you.

Besides, young or old, you're always gonna have weirdoes pointing at you like you're an animal at a zoo. But you gotta just let it in one ear and out the other. You most definitely have other qualities/gifts that would crush these idiots who laugh and make offensive comments at you. So just keep saying to yourself that you're more than these labels people attach to you. So you probably have mad programming skills or some amazing thing you can do with computers - when people see this, nobody is gonna care about if you talk to yourself. In fact, it should only be about the great qualities you possess and if you're a good person!

Yes defo try the headphones idea .... also dude, on a side note - I would see guys rap to themselves with such charisma that I would start joining in dancing as if I can hear their music from their headphones. I don't get people who stare at them funny cuz I think that sort of stuff is inspirational . Same with talking to yourself - I've found that it actually helps you conquer loneliness and it's great for solving any type of problem.

Hmm about this girl: if she's worthy of you, she won't care about any of that 'talking to yourself' stuff. Maybe she might actually ask you why you do - if so, don't be scared or put off, answer honestly. Because if a relationship does come out of this then it needs to start with 100% honesty. And if she is willing to listen to your feelings about how you try to cope with anxiety and loneliness or she is more interested in who you are as a person, then keep her

Glad you're feeling better - remember you're not alone in this situation and in general, you're not alone. I hope this girl thing works out as well - it might help with the 'talking to yourself' stuff as well.

There are many self help groups probably running in your local area and your university will definitely have a mental health service which will include 1:1 counselling so make sure you find out if you really want to try it

Thanks for this reply, it warmed my heart. You’re right - if she’s worthy of me, she won’t just write me off as a weirdo and dismiss me. Honestly, thank you for taking the time to write this

I do all the time* or else I will go mad. I think I’m the funniest person in my life so i tell myself jokes and laugh all night. I tell myself things I’m passionate about. I gossip about people to myself. If no one else wants to hear you talk about something all day then you’ve got yourself for it.

Yes man! I am seriously like this as well. I come up with the weirdest questions about life and have a discussion about it with myself. And I’m not like a conventionally funny person where everyone would lol at my jokes but to me, I think I’m funny so I mutter jokes (lol if it’s about someone who’s standing 5 feet away from me then defo will try to keep it in my head haha)

Also loving that confidence!!