Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I've noticed recently that my friends do a lot of stuff without me and I'm feeling kinda bummed out about it. My best mate will go out and do things and post about it on social media. This wouldn't be so bad, but we live together as she's also my flatmate. Idk it's not like I expect her to invite me to everything she does, it's just I feel excluded sometimes and I don't want to bring it up in case she feels forced to invite me to stuff. It just makes me frustrated bc if it was the other way round, she'd have a strop and complain about not being invited and probably guilt me out. She can be very immature sometimes and it can be difficult to reason with her. It's just getting to the point where I feel like she's sneaking out the flat and purposely not telling me things in order for me to not find out otherwise she'd have to invite me. It's gotten so bad that I noticed that I actually never spend time with our friends without her there. And what I mean by that is, she will spend time with our friends without me there and she gets to bond with them, but I feel like I've never been able to bond/get closer with our other friends bc she's always there. I hope I'm making sense. Has anyone else been through this and/or have any advice please? It just feels like everyone is so close to each other and I'm the outsider looking in.
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alliswell
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#2
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#2
You should tell her. If it's so hard to reason out with her, you should do the same and do your own things, hang with your own friends. If she complains and feels left out, you should just jokingly say "if you can, why not me?"

Have you tried texting your friends personally and say you wanna hang with just them? If they don't see a problem just hanging out with her without you, it should be fine for them to hang out with only you.

If things still don't work out, you should probably ask her and your friends straight up, what's wrong? It sucks feeling excluded, you should really do something about it rather than wait for her to invite you
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mgi
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've noticed recently that my friends do a lot of stuff without me and I'm feeling kinda bummed out about it. My best mate will go out and do things and post about it on social media. This wouldn't be so bad, but we live together as she's also my flatmate. Idk it's not like I expect her to invite me to everything she does, it's just I feel excluded sometimes and I don't want to bring it up in case she feels forced to invite me to stuff. It just makes me frustrated bc if it was the other way round, she'd have a strop and complain about not being invited and probably guilt me out. She can be very immature sometimes and it can be difficult to reason with her. It's just getting to the point where I feel like she's sneaking out the flat and purposely not telling me things in order for me to not find out otherwise she'd have to invite me. It's gotten so bad that I noticed that I actually never spend time with our friends without her there. And what I mean by that is, she will spend time with our friends without me there and she gets to bond with them, but I feel like I've never been able to bond/get closer with our other friends bc she's always there. I hope I'm making sense. Has anyone else been through this and/or have any advice please? It just feels like everyone is so close to each other and I'm the outsider looking in.
Interesting. You do realise that the real issue is thst she isn't really your best friend! And also that you need you go out and get your own social life and separate friends? The fact that you live together is irrelevant really.
If she really is your best friend then she won't mind you exercising your own freedom and independence; its what she does herself! The lesson here is: don't ever live in anyone's shadow!
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