Boyfriend will forget to get me a Christmas gift.

Maybe he might be trying to surprise you?

Without sounding petty or childish, I want to vent about this.
So I love my boyfriend and he loves me but he’s very cheap and forgetful. Basically for Christmas I’ve spent £20 on a hoodie for him and I’ve also spent days painting his dog (which he knows I’m doing and how much I’ve spent)
He says “suppose I’ll have to get you a gift too”
When I finished the painting I told him and he says he’s still not got me anything and has no idea what to get me. I told him to just think of what I like to which he said “idk”
He forgets everything I tell him and so acts like he doesn’t really know my interests. They only gift he’s ever got me (and the only time he’s spent money on me over the course of our 9 month relationship) he’s bought me a necklace for my birthday (roughly under £20)
I asked if he had any ideas recently and he said “idk I might get you a bracelet or something”
Firstly I never actually wear jewellery and secondly, knowing him it’ll be a cheap purchase with no thought put into it. Either that or, since it seems he keeps forgetting about the fact he said he’ll get me a gift, the way it’s looking is he won’t actually get me anything and forget, after I’ve worked so hard at this painting and on top of it still spent money on him. I will feel hurt if he forgets, purely because it shows his lack of effort to even remember, let alone put any thought into it in comparison to my effort. He says he’s looking forward to getting the painting and that he’s going to love it but still I don’t think he’ll return the sentiment. He is never really capable of going all out and has some aversion to spending money, even though he has a fair bit and isn’t struggling financially. He just refuses to be lenient in some situations, for example when it comes to being creative or something he naturally isn’t, he won’t even try. Same goes for remembering things even when they’re important to the people around him.

If he isnt willing to put any effort in then why did you waste the time on him? More fool you. He doesnt really care about you and you wont last.

I dont think gifts are that important as £ of themselves, but its more it signifies he has gone to some effort to try and make you happy when it appears he cant be bothered. You may be surprised, but a bf should behave like a friend and your happiness should be important for him. He doesnt want to make the effort so you are foolish wasting time on him.

Its a relationship you choose to stay in. he obviously knows how you feel. Is it the relationship you want or would you like better?

it doesn't sound petty or childish to me. people in relationships give each other things/do nice things for each other to show their love and affection, celebrate their relationship etc etc. plus if you celebrate Christmas, then gifts for most people comes with the territory. if you're the one doing the giving and he 'knows' that's part of Christmas then i mean, what are his excuses tbh.

i don't have any advice. just saying i can imagine your frustration. maybe he'll surprise you this year?

He shows me love and affection though just not through materialistic things. It’s just this one massive issue that he forgets things that are important to me and won’t put in effort to at least try and remember. He tells me it’s hard to rewire your brain to remember things when I tell him that if it was that important he would go out of his way to try harder. He could write stuff down, set reminders, ask other people to remind him but he just doesn’t go this little extra step just to make sure. It’s just the way he is, he won’t do things with his own initiative and on his won accord. Only when people tell him to do something. It’s frustrating and I don’t know what to do about it because he’s always reassuring me of his feelings but won’t put in a little extra effort. And on the rare occasion he will, he goes on like he is such a saint and will bring it up constantly in the future.

Feeble excuse imo, better than otherway round, but is it really any effort to spend 30 mins choosing a gift based on who you are and what you might like. No nagging just a happy gf that hes shown some consideration and made an effort. Not as though you are demanding £100-£200.
I just wouldnt buy his gift.

We’re going to our local city on the weekend and he told me to choose something I want him to get for me. It’s nice and all, but I’m a sentimental person and prefer when a gift is picked out for you as a surprise, like if he were to choose it cause he thinks I would like it. This is an achievement in itself however since he doesn’t usually take me out to places and has also said he would take me for food as well. It’s nothing fancy and I’ll be paying for my own meal but I’m glad it’s something. If he’s generally not very lenient and he’s asked to do this with me for my sake even if it’s not really his thing, I’m grateful enough for that.

He shows me love and affection though just not through materialistic things. It’s just this one massive issue that he forgets things that are important to me and won’t put in effort to at least try and remember. He tells me it’s hard to rewire your brain to remember things when I tell him that if it was that important he would go out of his way to try harder. He could write stuff down, set reminders, ask other people to remind him but he just doesn’t go this little extra step just to make sure. It’s just the way he is, he won’t do things with his own initiative and on his won accord. Only when people tell him to do something. It’s frustrating and I don’t know what to do about it because he’s always reassuring me of his feelings but won’t put in a little extra effort. And on the rare occasion he will, he goes on like he is such a saint and will bring it up constantly in the future.

We’re going to our local city on the weekend and he told me to choose something I want him to get for me. It’s nice and all, but I’m a sentimental person and prefer when a gift is picked out for you as a surprise, like if he were to choose it cause he thinks I would like it. This is an achievement in itself however since he doesn’t usually take me out to places and has also said he would take me for food as well. It’s nothing fancy and I’ll be paying for my own meal but I’m glad it’s something. If he’s generally not very lenient and he’s asked to do this with me for my sake even if it’s not really his thing, I’m grateful enough for that.

Just take him somewhere, tell him you want him to buy you x specific thing, then tell him to wrap it for you. At least then you'll know you're getting something, and that it's something you actually want.

Also what do you mean "painting his dog"???

I had this reaction too - I think maybe painting a picture of his dog?