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nervous about this party...please help? watch

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    Not too sure if this is the right forums for this, but i guess relationships could include friendships so here goes. Anyone who's seen my other threads probably knows im kinda shy, only really comfortable around people i really know. I have this one really good friend, hangs out in the same group as me mostly, he's one of the few that i dont really get anxious when we're talking - i still get kinda awkward sometimes talking to people i think of as my friends, and am too nervous to ask if they want to hang out outside school, feel like i never get invited - and i tell him loads of personal stuff that i wouldnt tell most people. Not too sure if he's a best friend, there are people who are more fun, but he's really calm and confident, he's easier to talk to i guess, and he's also willing to talk about serious stuff more.
    Anyway, its his birthday monday, and he's throwing some party at a bar/club/restaurant, cant remember the name, and invited me. All the people in our 'group' can't come except me. He's this really confident person, gets on with pretty much everybody, so has invited some other people instead. I don't really go out much, have hardly been out this summer - only with this same guy in fact - and probably need to work on my social life, but, I know this sounds stupid, im really anxious about going. Firstly, i only really like one of the other people that is coming, who's a really nice, fun guy, but not really a friend. The other people I either don't know that well and am not really comfortable with, or i dislike. On top of that, i don't really have much of a social life, never been to a bar OR club, so i'd be completely out of my comfort zone. I never really go out late either, partly cos i dont really go to clubs, partly cos my areas kinda dodgy, and i dont feel safe walking home that late. Again, i know its stupid, its scared, and i dont think i'll enjoy it. Im seriously thinking about just saying i cant make it - this is sort of true, im doing some research project for work experience, and have to be there quite early, so going out late on the night before my first day there might be a bad idea anyway... ah i'd just really appreciate some advice...
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    Hmm, if you've got this work experience thing, then perhaps you shouldn't go. And if you don't, it's not the end of the world. But it won't be if you do go! What i would suggest is you talk to him, and say that you're anxious, because if he really is a good friend of yours, then he'll be able to give you advice that suits you best, just tell him you're a bit nervous about going to a bar, and see what he says...
    But, in my opinion, you should go for it, after all you'll never know what could've been if you don't go, and could regret it if you don't go
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    The only way you can change this is to step out a bit! I know it may seem hard but I think it would be for the best.

    IMO, you should go, stay for a bit at least and see if you get talking to other people and start enjoying yourself. If you really are not having a good time then leave. (get a taxi home if your area is dodgy).

    I reckon if you just stay in you will regret not going.

    PS. Try and go in as neutral as possible, if you go to the party expecting to have a rubbish time then you will have a rubbish time. If theres drink to be had this might make breaking the ice with some new people easier (although I highly suggest you don't become comatose).
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    I think, like others have said, you should just go for a bit. If you don't like it, or are worrying about your work experience, leave early! There's nothing wrong with doing that! I think the only way you can improve your self confidence is to push yourself into situations where you are not comfortable, it's the only way you will improve your confidence. And like they say, fake it before you make it! Just try and involve yourself with their conversations, you don't need to make too much of an effort. I'm sure once you leave you'll be happy, that you've given yourself the chance to talk to and meet other people.
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    I think you should go.. just for an hour or two if you don't want to stay out late due to the work experience.
    Like someone else has said, it'd be the first step to your new life.. haha.
    They'll probably be more people you know anyway. If not.. whats the worst that can happen, you turn up theres no-one else there you know, you don't enjoy it, so you come home. simple.

    go for it.
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    Go for it?
    Then if its going badly, have something to drink...
    Then you wont care
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    I dont really know what id be doing tho... soz, i know this sounds wet, but i have no idea what id wear, how id act, what goes on
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    Try not to be nervous. As much as people think that they get judged and so forth, i often find that its more us being paranoid about what we are doing than actually being judged by anyone. Just be yourself and put yourself out there to talk to people. I'm sure you'll find you have a great time and meet more people who have similar intrests to you.
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    maybe just go for a hour or so?its what i would do... then u can run off home asap n still be nice n early to bed
    x
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    Why dont you like the other people who are going? If you dont have many friends, maybe you need to give more people a chance?
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    In my humble opinion there is nothing to loose from just going to the party and giving it a go! If you don't like it you can always make up an excuse and leave. How about you ask your best mate if you can just go around the party with him? I am sure he will be understanding. Maybe as the night progresses you will feel more confident and perhaps talk to other people. As someone else has said, don't be paranoid, everyone else will be there to have a good time and whilst they are doing so you will be the last person on their mind.

    So, I would just say try to enjoy yourself, and maybe ask your friend if you can tag along with him because you feel a bit nervous. There is no harm in that and I am sure he will be understanding.
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    Do what suits your agnenda, that is being prepared or in a good state for work experience
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    I dont think its that big a party, i think its just him taking some mates for a night out. The thing is, I wouldnt be meeting new ppl, I know these guys from school. Like i said, theres my friend and this other guy i do like, but the other guys i've never gotten to know well, feel kinda awkward talking to. The ones I dont like is because I think - this sounds childish i know but - that theyre just mean people. One of them has always been a bit of a **** to me but is mates with people im mates with, the other one I've never liked, always thought he *****es a lot, a bit stuck up. It's not that I dont give people a chance, but these two guys are just completely incompatible with me...
    Soz guys i know its all a bit pathetic, i just get so nervous when I think about going, its like im scared of it. I sometimes get this at school, where I come in and want to talk to people, but they're all in a group already talking an I cant think of anything to say so I just go to the toilets or something so people dont see my alone not talking to people, and I know thats weird and its a problem. Thing is though I dont know if im even going to enjoy this thing, a big part of me really wants to back out. I know I need to get out more, but I just would be so far out of what I know...
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    I would really go for it. I'm a similar type - possibly not as much as a wallflower as you, but I tend to be ok around people I know but v shy around people I don't. Anyhow, end of year 12 a friend invited me to his birthday and it turned out all the people going I didn't really know. One of the guys there, who I'd never really spoke to - despite sitting next to each other in maths (as we were the only two any good at it :p:) was sat opposite me, we gradually got chatting and discovered we'd got the world in common. He's now once of my best friends.
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    thanks for all the advice, didnt end up going in the end, know its stupid but my excuse was sort of true, the work experience thing...
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    From the last few lines of the OP's first post, it sounded like you'd already made up your mind not to go.

    At the end of the day, you chose what you wanted to do and felt comfortable in your decision, which is all you can ask for - there's nothing stupid about it If you'd made it up in your mind that you didn't want to go, there would've been no point in going anyway, as you'd probs have found it hard to socialise, get out of the negative mindset and have a good time.

    If you have a similar thing in the future - flip a coin, say heads you go, tails you dont - and if you're unhappy with the result, choose the other option... works for me
 
 
 
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