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Why did she do this?

I realise you aren't mind readers, but some suggestions and how to deal with this would be lovely.

Right so I had a massive fight with my best friend last year, and we made up this year. We have only just started doing things together again. She knows a girl now who she is close friends with, which is fine and all. She also has an on/off boyfriend. The forementioned people as well as a few of their mates are all at hers tonight.

I slept at her house last night, and she wouldn't stop mentioning this little party. She even said 'I would invite you but...' and didn't finish the sentence due to a distraction. She started organising the whole thing while we were out, calling people etc. I couldn't help feeling it was really really rude and strange. I do know some of her friends, it isn't like they are an alien group of people I've never hung out with. Her 'bf' likes me, or at least I think he does.

I realise there is a lot of resentment on her part, and that she probably doesn't want me to meet her new friends. However I feel quite hurt by it all. Why can't she just forgive and forget like I have?

Sorry it is long. This has been a good rant.

Reply 1

Noémie

17

my reaction is:
what a bitch! that is ****ing rude. slap her sideways.

Reply 2

username186742

I think she's putting you in your place, like you can only bother with me if I chose to let you the only answer to this situation is to burn her house down

Reply 3

chantilly

OP

haha and I thought I may be over-reacting (cannot be bothered with spelling and grammar today, sorry!). It is always good to hear the reassuring voice of TSR.

Reply 4

undisclosed?

14

Noémie

my reaction is:
what a bitch! that is ****ing rude. slap her sideways.

I completely agree. Especially with the slapping part. Knock the rudeness out of her.

Reply 5

Jamsie_853

10

She probably has the irrational fear that because her 'bf' likes you, she has set it in her head that you like him back and there may be some chemistry there. Which, to be honest, and you'll probably agree, is complete and utter rubbish as to me chantilly, you've come over very sincere and articulate and I can see that you just want to socialise and relax.
I have a problem slightly similar to you on that note, I thought I'd patched things up with a friend these past few months but I continue to be neglected, ignored and criticised. Sorry to relate it to me, but I think it helps and that there are people out there with similar problems.
You've got two options (or two I can think of), you can talk to her and discuss this, after all, you've patched things up in the past so to both of you you'll be able to relate to each other more. Or you could cut all ties with her and get yourself some decent, genuine friends. However, I'm unaware of your circumstances, so I don't know how hard that would be for you.
PM me though if you need any more advice, or just someone who will listen to you. I'll be more than willing. :smile:

James. xx

Reply 6

Jace Falco

19

What a nasty bitchy thing to do. Organise a party of your own, and don't invite her. Don't invite her right in her FACE!

(Don't actually do that, that would be silly.)

Reply 7

llys

17

I'd just ignore it. Yeah she's really immature and all that, but people are like that sometimes. All the time in fact. They do such silly things. lol.

I'd say for the sake of your friendship just ignore it this time: don't allude to it, don't retaliate, etc.. If she's a decent person and this was just a slip then she'll feel guilty about it afterwards, and then you can move on together. If not (if she does it again or tries to mess you up over it), then dump her, and move on by yourself.

Reply 8

hbandtr4eva

2

To be honest she seems like she's doing this to make her seem better than you are. I doubt these are all proper, close friends of hers, they're more likely to be aquaintances - maybe she's just trying to show you she doesn't need you around and that she can do perfectly well without you. Seems to me that she's just trying to make you think that she's allowing you to be her friend as a favour. :rolleyes:

Reply 9

hannargh.

gah whaddda bitch. maybe she's worried about you & her boyfriend?
turn up at the party - the old brick-through-the-window trick should show her.

Reply 10

Becksy

Well maybe she doesn't feel like she can trust you yet, maybe the argument you had made her lose her trust in you? I can't tell because I don't know what the argument was about. Anyway..it sounds to me that she is worried that something might happen between you and her boyfriend.

Reply 11

cherrybella1

Well I was going to say these things take time, until I saw the 'I would invite you but...'. She doesnt sound too much of a friend to be honest. She either just wants to rub it in your face, or she wants you to beg for an invite. You should ask her why straight out, it wouldnt be stupid because if you're friends then theres no reason why she shouldnt have invited you. It would probably make her feel awkward as well if you asked!

Reply 12

cherrybella1

oooo also, do you have any close mutual friends who will tell you honestly whats going on with her? When its something like this you can usually get more of the truth out of people who arent in the centre of the situation!

Reply 13

chantilly

OP

cherrybella1

oooo also, do you have any close mutual friends who will tell you honestly whats going on with her? When its something like this you can usually get more of the truth out of people who arent in the centre of the situation!

Our relationship is frail, she doesn't take kindly to any form of criticism and will come up with an absolutly rubbish excuse anyway. We don't really anymore, have anymore mutual friends that is.

I think she just wanted to make me feel bad. Must be wondering why I am freinds with her! hahahah.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Why did she do this?

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