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    look at the younger generation these days (that makes me sound well old lol) #the law has taken too much power awy from parents i think, and the younger kids know this, and some take advantage of it.

    i was smacked as a child, and tbh i think i deserved it sometimes, and it helped me distinguish between right and wrong

    now i know some parents smack their children to release anger, that is where it's wrong, but i think that there are probably more people that have become more respectful because of moderate smacking, then there have been severe cases of abuse
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    Obviously hasn't done Max Mosley any harm...
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    i was smacked as a kid, and while i hated my parents for a couple of hours aftwerwards until i forgot all about it, i've never resented them for it, i get with my parents really well.

    i don't see the harm in smacking a child at all if used in moderation, it taught me the difference between right and wrong, and bar a couple of rebelious moments in my earlier teenage years, i was well behaved because of it.
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    My parents stopped smacking my bam when they found flagellant set in my school bag
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    I think actually that being smacked did me a world of good. I think it only ever actually happened once, maybe twice, but the threat was there if I did something bad.
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    Darn, I thought this thread was going to be a lot more interesting!!

    I do not believe in parents being physical like that with their kids... it's always far more effective to exude an emotional punishment on them, by demonstrating how disappointed you are in them, basically.
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    (Original post by Danielle89)
    People saying that it made them "not like" their parents - and that it damaged their self-esteem - surely if you'd behaved in the first place and taken the hint you wouldn't have been smacked anymore and since smacking is discipline of course it hadn't made you like your parents - discipline ain't meant to be a barrel of laughs!
    The reason kids misbehave in the first place is because of poor parenting! (bar kids with learning difficulties/ADHD etc)

    You need to watch more Supernanny!!
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    I blame it for my Oedipus Complex. :p:
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    The reason kids misbehave in the first place is because of poor parenting! (bar kids with learning difficulties/ADHD etc)

    You need to watch more Supernanny!!
    You're talking about severe misbeahaviour though - a total lack of respect, etc etc.
    What if you're just dealing with routine childish behaviour such as snatching that needs to be discouraged; that's not a result of parenting, it's a result of a child being a child.

    Anyway that's got nothing to do with the debate really.
    I want to broach something to the non-smackers.

    What if your child is rather inquisitive. A toddler, maybe eighteen months or so. Understands simple verbal commands but isn't all the way there yet.
    This child has just approached a plug socket for the first time. You don't have socket covers because until this point they were unnecessary.
    You tell the child repeatedly that they are not to stick their fingers in the socket, as they have tried to do multiple times whilst playing that afternoon.

    Despite sitting them on the naughty step, they continue to investigate the socket. This situation could easily lead to injury of the child.
    If your normal parenting techniques weren't working, would you smack in order to avoid possible harm to the child?

    I'm just wondering on what your views would be, and whether your choice not to smack would waver at any point.

    I was one of these kids. I always tried to stick my fingers in the sockets. The minute my mum smacked me I knew nothing good would come of it. I knew I had done something indescribably bad. So I stopped.

    I definitely approve of smacking - as long as it is used in moderation, and as the final punishment when warnings and other techniqes have failed. Often, as other people have said, it's not the pain that has the desired affect - more the fact that the extremity of the punishment causes the child to realise that what they did should not by any means be repeated.

    One last thing - these people saying that emotional punishment should be used as an alternative to smacking. Is this not more damaging to the long-term health of a child?
    What do you mean by emotional punishment exactly?
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    i used to get smacked quite a lot, and mainly it was because my parents were angry at something else, not me so yes it kind of made me dislike my parents. im ok now though, no smacks for many years :p:
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    i hate my dad. my mum didn't do it, but my dad did. but not on my bum but on my face. i hate him now - and God does he know it.
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    i had it done, but i wouldnt put my kids thru it unless they're really bad!
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    The reason kids misbehave in the first place is because of poor parenting! (bar kids with learning difficulties/ADHD etc)

    You need to watch more Supernanny!!
    Get in touch when you have kids - see if it's as easy as you make out. Having watched my mother struggle to raise my badly behaved little brother has taught me that no matter how hard you try with kids, they're always going to step out of line at some point.

    And don't get me started on Supernanny. She's too far up her own backside - getting on at parents who lose their temper and, god forbid, occasionally shout at their children.
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    (Original post by emilyyy)
    What if your child is rather inquisitive. A toddler, maybe eighteen months or so. Understands simple verbal commands but isn't all the way there yet.
    This child has just approached a plug socket for the first time. You don't have socket covers because until this point they were unnecessary.
    You tell the child repeatedly that they are not to stick their fingers in the socket, as they have tried to do multiple times whilst playing that afternoon.

    Despite sitting them on the naughty step, they continue to investigate the socket. This situation could easily lead to injury of the child.
    If your normal parenting techniques weren't working, would you smack in order to avoid possible harm to the child?
    This is exactly what my mum said - when I was about two I kept sticking my hand in the video player and in the end she gave me a smack (not even on the bum, just on the back of my hand) - no way it could have hurt at all, but it made me realise she was serious and I didn't do it again.
    Both my parents smacked me every now and then, and I don't resent either of them for it because I know that I always deserved it, and they wouldn't do it unless I had already ignored several verbal warnings. I would definitely smack my child in that kind of circumstance, but only very lightly - it's the fact that you've resorted to physical punishment that holds the most influence, NOT the actual level of pain involved.
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    It seems that a lot of the people who now resent the fact that they were smacked are female and that a lot of those against smacking are also female.

    Hmm, probably mums should adminster smacks to daugthers...
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    (Original post by Not Invented Yet)
    it's the fact that you've resorted to physical punishment that holds the most influence, NOT the actual level of pain involved.

    Completely agree.

    If you put your hand into a flame, it burns, it hurts, and you remember that and don't do it again. I don't think that it should be used frequently at all, but when I was younger, if I did something and my mum smacked me, I realised that it was something really serious and didn't do it again.

    I would, on rare occasions, smack my child where necessary.
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    (Original post by Philosoraptor)
    You have even quoted the part of the post that gives the substance of what I'm about to answer


    OF COURSE it isn't! But getting rid of it completely is not the way forward.
    Deary me, I'm very affectionate most of the time, just sometimes people need to know they've overstepped the line.
    hitting is never necessary, and you can parent well without ever hitting, ever. if you could raise your child well without hitting them, why on earth would you? know better, do better.
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    (Original post by emilyyy)
    What if your child is rather inquisitive. A toddler, maybe eighteen months or so. Understands simple verbal commands but isn't all the way there yet.
    This child has just approached a plug socket for the first time. You don't have socket covers because until this point they were unnecessary.
    You tell the child repeatedly that they are not to stick their fingers in the socket, as they have tried to do multiple times whilst playing that afternoon.

    Despite sitting them on the naughty step, they continue to investigate the socket. This situation could easily lead to injury of the child.
    If your normal parenting techniques weren't working, would you smack in order to avoid possible harm to the child?

    I'm just wondering on what your views would be, and whether your choice not to smack would waver at any point.
    I would never punish a toddler for being inquisitive. this is part and parcel of being a toddler, and something I would greatly encourage within the boundaries of safety.

    In the instance you suggested, well, firstly I wouldn't not have plug covers in a house with a young child. I also wouldn't respond by sitting a child on a "naughty step" at any point. I would pick the child up, move them away from the plug socket and use re-direction to get them involved with another activity. I'd keep doing this as many times as was necessary, until I bought some plug covers.

    One last thing - these people saying that emotional punishment should be used as an alternative to smacking. Is this not more damaging to the long-term health of a child?
    What do you mean by emotional punishment exactly?
    I don't believe in punishment full stop. I believe in discipline, it has to teach a lesson and teach the child what to do next time.
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    I've said this before, some of you don't seem to notice the difference between discipline and child abuse. You don't even have to hit them that hard it's just symbolism, and sometimes hitting is necessary. I can definately see correlation between parents being 'progressive' and trying to bring up their children without hitting them, and the number of spoilt disobedient children.
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    (Original post by imtired)
    I've said this before, some of you don't seem to notice the difference between discipline and child abuse. You don't even have to hit them that hard it's just symbolism, and sometimes hitting is necessary. I can definately see correlation between parents being 'progressive' and trying to bring up their children without hitting them, and the number of spoilt disobedient children.
    I don't think smacking is child abuse. but I do think that hitting is never, ever necessary. I've never been hit, neither have some of my friends. my mum was a single parent, and I'm sure that at times hitting me would be the simpler option.

    I don't think that you have noticed the difference between lazy parenting and progressive parenting. I worked with children, and learnt these methods in a very progressive nursery. none of the children there were spoilt or disrespectful. progressive doesn't necessarily mean less strict.
 
 
 
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