how do i tell my parents im LESBIAN ?

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Anonymous #1
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My parents are very strict, religious christians. i have recently found out that i have sexual feelings for girls, but my parents want me to marry this guy who comes to our church, he is 20 years older than me and im not attracted to him at all. how do i come out the closet to my family? im afraid they will hate me/ disown me.
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username2393237
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How old are you? Do you have any older siblings?
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username2998742
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If you're above 18 then tell them and if they have a problem then move out. If you're under 18 you shouldn't be marrying anyone.

Also last time I checked the whole Christianity bullcrap was love everyone and all that jazz so just call them out on not loving you if they have an issue.
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Dunnig Kruger
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I'm not surprised you're not attracted to him. He's 20 years older!

Your parents will find out sooner or later.

As a pragmatic thing you may wish to delay telling them, till you've moved out from the family home.

Then just tell them you've got a girlfriend or are trying to get a girlfriend or that you've made love with women only and no men.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by YaliaV)
How old are you? Do you have any older siblings?
i am 17 turning 18 very soon.. and i have one older sibling he is in the closet too (its very dark in here) but he is away studying so my parents dont know what is going on his life.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Glaz)
If you're above 18 then tell them and if they have a problem then move out. If you're under 18 you shouldn't be marrying anyone.

Also last time I checked the whole Christianity bullcrap was love everyone and all that jazz so just call them out on not loving you if they have an issue.
im turning 18 very soon. and yes when i eventually have the courage to tell them about these desires i will argue about all the christanity love everyone bs
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I'm not surprised you're not attracted to him. He's 20 years older!

Your parents will find out sooner or later.

As a pragmatic thing you may wish to delay telling them, till you've moved out from the family home.

Then just tell them you've got a girlfriend or are trying to get a girlfriend or that you've made love with women only and no men.
i dont think i will be allowed to move out my home till marriage. and that marriage will be with the old a** man . i could runaway.. would you say thats a good idea?
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1st superstar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents are very strict, religious christians.
why i hate Religion (especially Christianity)... stop the brainwash!! (people don't need a God to know what's right and wrong and have good morals (e.g accepting LGBTQ+))... tbh i would just tell them i was lesbian (i am not) and i don't care what they do
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 1st superstar)
why i hate Religion (especially Christianity)... stop the brainwash!! (people don't need a God to know what's right and wrong and have good morals (e.g accepting LGBTQ+))... tbh i would just tell them i was lesbian (i am not) and i don't care what they do
i think thats what i will do. and then just runaway
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i dont think i will be allowed to move out my home till marriage. and that marriage will be with the old a** man . i could runaway.. would you say thats a good idea?
They can't stop you moving out when you are 18. Any attempt to stop you, beyond reasonably asking you not to, would be entirely illegal on their part.

Going to Uni is a great time to move away from home - never to go back (apart from holiday stays and week-end visits).

Just apply to uni's away from your home town.
Or get a job after A-levels and move out into rented housing till you can afford a deposit on a mortgage.

IE better to run away in a mature, convenient, organised manner.
Till then, you might have stall them on the marriage front. Which should be easy "I'm studying for A-levels this year, and I'm only 17, how about thinking about marriage next year."
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1st superstar
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
They can't stop you moving out when you are 18. Any attempt to stop you, beyond reasonably asking you not to, would be entirely illegal on their part.

Going to Uni is a great time to move away from home - never to go back (apart from holiday stays and week-end visits).

Just apply to uni's away from your home town.
Or get a job after A-levels and move out into rented housing till you can afford a deposit on a mortgage.

IE better to run away in a mature, convenient, organised manner.
Till then, you might have stall them on the marriage front. Which should be easy "I'm studying for A-levels this year, and I'm only 17, how about thinking about marriage next year."
agreed
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
They can't stop you moving out when you are 18. Any attempt to stop you, beyond reasonably asking you not to, would be entirely illegal on their part.

Going to Uni is a great time to move away from home - never to go back (apart from holiday stays and week-end visits).

Just apply to uni's away from your home town.
Or get a job after A-levels and move out into rented housing till you can afford a deposit on a mortgage.

IE better to run away in a mature, convenient, organised manner.
Till then, you might have stall them on the marriage front. Which should be easy "I'm studying for A-levels this year, and I'm only 17, how about thinking about marriage next year."
oh yes thats a very smart idea ! my problem with going to uni is i have no clue what to write in my personal statement.. i've looked at loads of 'personal statement help' websites but they just dont help. you are very eloquently spoken can u please write my personal statemnt for me or give me ideas.
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Dunnig Kruger
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The personal statement is one of those things that I struggled to write well when I was 17, but could now write one for myself or someone I knew well without thinking about it.

I'd need to know you a lot better than I do now to give you more help with your personal statement than what you could get with a bit of Google homework.

My suggestion, do some Google homework. Dash off a personal statement as quickly as you can, writing as if you were speaking to someone in person. Then show it and discuss it with the relevant tutor at your school or college. A good college will be able to provide you with plenty of help with your Uni applications.
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username2998742
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If you're 18 they cannot stop you from moving out so I'd just wait until then. Who knows, maybe they'd be okay with it, my mate's a Christian and she's okay with me.
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Shibu the Doge
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I thought you were american?!


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On a series note, I would not sugguest coming out if you aren't independent. Tell them you arent looking to marry anyone soon and come out to them after you have moved out. Hope this helps
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1st superstar
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
They can't stop you moving out when you are 18. Any attempt to stop you, beyond reasonably asking you not to, would be entirely illegal on their part.
what the term (name) for that?? (that parents can't force their 18 year old to live with them)... just wondering
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by 1st superstar)
what the term (name) for that?? (that parents can't force their 18 year old to live with them)... just wondering
It's most likely to be Coercive Control.
In a very rare and extreme case it'd be unlawful imprisonment.
Or it could be specific acts to physically stop someone from leaving like assault.

https://www.jacksonlees.co.uk/broudi...l-imprisonment

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/informa...rcive-control/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-50673081
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1st superstar
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's most likely to be Coercive Control.
In a very rare and extreme case it'd be unlawful imprisonment.
Or it could be specific acts to physically stop someone from leaving like assault.

https://www.jacksonlees.co.uk/broudi...l-imprisonment

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/informa...rcive-control/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-50673081
oh ok thanks
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The personal statement is one of those things that I struggled to write well when I was 17, but could now write one for myself or someone I knew well without thinking about it.

I'd need to know you a lot better than I do now to give you more help with your personal statement than what you could get with a bit of Google homework.

My suggestion, do some Google homework. Dash off a personal statement as quickly as you can, writing as if you were speaking to someone in person. Then show it and discuss it with the relevant tutor at your school or college. A good college will be able to provide you with plenty of help with your Uni applications.
what if we got to know eachother would you write it for me then ?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Glaz)
If you're 18 they cannot stop you from moving out so I'd just wait until then. Who knows, maybe they'd be okay with it, my mate's a Christian and she's okay with me.
yeah maybe if i give them some time they will accept it
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