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    My mum always said that the friends you make at uni are the ones you will keep for ever, but i was talking to a friend on the train home the other day she is in the year above me cos i repeated a year and she said that she knows she can't keep in touch with all her friends after uni and she needed to decide which ones. Any people here consciously decide which friends to stay in touch with and which to leave or do you just leave it to fate? It sounds a bit mean but i kinda understand what she means. My friends from the first i've already lost contact with partly cos of my repeating a year, I didn't deliberately choose to lose them but i didn't exactly make an effort to keep in touch and neither did they. When you leave uni would you (or if you have already left uni did you) conciously decide which friends you wanted to keep and which friends you don't mind losing? I understand if you have lot of friends it may be hard to keep in touch with all of them, but wouldn't it be a bit hurtful to know that someone you thought was your friend didn't care enough to keep in touch?
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    It sounds harsh but yes I know which friends I'll still have after uni and which I wont. In my first year there was a group of 18 of us and most of us didnt live with eachother, and somehow we were all really close... but this year we all moved into 3 6 bedroom flat on the same floor and literally after 2 weeks of us moving in there were so many little groups branching off and we barely spoke to people in the different flats. I think its just natural for people to drift off anyway. But yea, Ive got 4 really close friends at uni now and I think they're ones Im going to keep for years because we all manage to keep up alot of contact during the 4 month summer hols! So yes I do agree that you will probably make the most long standing friendships at uni. I think this is because when you're growing up at home and you go to school you're pretty much with the same 200 or so people for years, which means you only really have a small amount of people to become close to so if there were more people you possibly would never have been friends with them... although, I have a group back home and we're all still close, I love having catch ups in the pubs with them when we're all back!
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    It ends up pretty obvious who you will keep in touch with and who you wont. I havent made any particularly great friends at uni (but alot in the city outside) so i dont think i will keep in touch with many of them in the long run... but after you finish who stays and who goes often just decides it.
    theres no reason why uni friends should be 'better' than any you make anywhere else.. afterall uni is just another case of being lumped into groups and making friends through situations.. you may find that after uni you change, or they change, and you drift apart anyway.
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    I dunno... I've made many, many friends at Uni, and I know for a fact that I definitely won't be in touch with the majority of them apart from the odd Facebook comment/text message. But I do have a couple of very, very good friends at Uni and I know I'll definitely still be in touch with them once I graduate. Ones actually just graduated and we've already met once or twice in these 2 months since the end of Uni. Its worth the effort if they're good friends.
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    Of course. Sadly not all your Uni friends will be your friends forever.
    I know that my best friend at Uni won't be my best friend after it, and I very much doubt she will be my best friend after our year abroad (I am moving to Manchester, she is going to some obscure town in Austria).
    However, you will meet some others who will be your friends until the end
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    None of you have really answered my question, what i'm asking is will you conciously and seriously choose who to keep in touch with and who not to, as my friend is? I understand it is easy and almost unavoidable to drift away from friends but would you ever make a concious decision to not keep in touch with people simply because you do not consider them worth as much as other friends who you would keep in touch with?
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    At the end of high school, I tried emailing/facebooking most people every now and then.

    Some of them didn't reply.

    Some did.

    The former I'm no longer in touch with, the latter I am. I basically let them decide. I make a little bit of effort to keep in touch and if they wish to do so, they can put a little of their own effort in. If they bother, then I'll try to keep in touch...
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    (Original post by hippieglitter)
    None of you have really answered my question, what i'm asking is will you conciously and seriously choose who to keep in touch with and who not to, as my friend is? I understand it is easy and almost unavoidable to drift away from friends but would you ever make a concious decision to not keep in touch with people simply because you do not consider them worth as much as other friends who you would keep in touch with?
    You mean like saying "Ok, I'll be friends with him and her, but not those guys."

    No.

    I let these things run the course. Those who will drift away will. Those who I grow closer to will. No need for masterminding the process.

    Personally, I'd work to keep them all. [Real]Friends are too valuable and rare to allow to drift away.
 
 
 
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