People deal with things in different ways, maybe he's dealing with it better than yourself? Who knows. Just don't get worked up over it and try and think rationally...
brb, just going to make a thread entitled "Why can girls be so stereotyping and over the top when they're down?"
Kidding, of course.
Turn on thread page Beta
Why can guys be so heartless and cruel?! watch
- 13-07-2008 03:34
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 13-07-2008 03:36
My sister reads this so I'm posting anon...
I got dumped last week. By my boyfriend of 5 years. We were about to get engaged. He broke it off, in a very cruel and horrible way which I don't want to detail here. I did NOT deserve it.
This whole week I havnt eaten, slept, or done anything good. Just cried, moped, mourning the loss of 5 years with someone who Ithought loved me till no end.
HE however, is out partying everyday with his friends. Straight after we were finished, it was out the door -- Clubbing. Partying. Getting high. (I never held him back from doing this in the relationship, so it's not like he was suddenly free to do this stuff)
Why are guys like this.. after 5 years, I would have thought that he'd at least spend ONE day mourning our relationship but NO. It is OUT the door, as fast as he can, flirting with any girl in site and parting his effing ass off.
Why do they do it? And so SOON? Are they just heartless and want to inflict PAIN or is this their carefully constructed plan to "get over it"?!?!
Guys, including myself, well, we deal with our grief in a diff. way...we ignore it, get drunk, get laid, get high, *blow it off*....by pretending he doesnt care, and knowing what it is doing to you, he is making sure that you are feeling it as well....he doesnt want to be in pain alone, so he makes sure you feel as well...what can i say, sometimes, men do silly things (to say the least)..and yes, i am a guy myself, and i too recently broke up with a finace' of two years. I was heart broken, and tried to hide it- still do till this very day, but i didnt go out and do things to make her feel crappy.
again, sorry to hear about it- it will pass, and i promise one of two things, either it's eating em up inside, and he'll pay for this later one way or another, or he really really wanst the one you wanted to marry...JUST AN OPINION.
best of luck
- 13-07-2008 03:41
Im very sorry to hear that. Although I do not know you, it still is disturbing
But i must say, not all men are the same...
But I hope you realise how many care for you
And just remember, in the world, your not the only one going through this.
Please think about eating and sleeping again, for it is so unhealthy and it wont help the issue
- 13-07-2008 12:05
Maybe he was scared of commitment.
- 13-07-2008 12:11
Being cold is necessary when you break up so you can both heal as quick as possible. I bet he still feels upset about it too but he is taking the attitude of looking forward and not backwards which is the wise thing to do really.
- 13-07-2008 12:15
if he broke up with you he probably got over you a long time ago
so no need to do it all again
my 2 cents.
- 13-07-2008 13:30
maybe he wasnt havin as good a time as you thought he was and as guys dont like talkin things over, eventually it would have really got to him and he would slowly grow more distant from you until he didnt care anymore, and if he was at this stage when he dumped you, then it wouldnt mean anything to him. you just have to read us right and make sure you sit us down and talk to us to sort things out
- 13-07-2008 16:42
because boys suck....
as others have said unless he is a real **** he is probably just dealing with the pain of breaking up from a long relationship by "drowning" his sorrows. Some prefer to feel nothing.
For you, i wish there were some words me, or anyone else, could say to make things better, but there really arnt. The only thing you can do is to just accept that its over. And try and realise that he isnt the one for you. But also dont get bogged down because of recent times when he hurt you. Focus on the 5 years of hopefully positive and enjoyable times with someone you loved. And try and move on, it will take time, but know that it WAS worth those 5 years. You have had good times as well i'm sure, and you shouldnt wanna give that back for the world.
- 13-07-2008 16:48
Maybe he's felt like he's kind of spent too many of his young days with the same girl, I mean, you have all your life to spend with someone, I like to live my young days doing stuff I won't be able to when I'm older...
Maybe he realised that.
- 13-07-2008 16:55
Because they're heartless *******s.
(Original post by Diaz)
- 13-07-2008 17:01
Because they're heartless *******s.
He's gotten over it, it's harsh, but you should too. You can't be angry at him for moving on, even if it was pretty sharpish. I'm sure people who have been married for much longer periods than you were together for have reacted in a similar way, so just try and move on. Dwelling on it just makes it worse for you
- 13-07-2008 17:05
Well he would either do that or sit around all day listening to james blunt and david gray all day. Seeing as he isnt gay, he is just doing what all guys do after a long relationship. Detaching.