Shock to the system😞 Watch
I’m a recent graduate, and, almost two weeks into my first full time job I’m really struggling. My shifts aren’t TOO bad (8.30-5.00 and 9.00-5.30) and the commute really isn’t bad either...it’s a busy office admin job and so far it’s not been too challenging (it is however incredibly monotonous).
The problem is my life outside work. I’ve been an anxious individual for years now and I do suffer from seriously depressing and anxious ruminations fairly often. I am having enormous issues with sleep; in my first two weeks of work I’ve probably been getting about 3-4 hours per night. I completely hate this, I lie in bed thinking about and sometimes even hallucinating the sights and sounds of work, whilst stewing on the greater lifestyle anxieties associated with it despite trying my absolute best to shut it off. As a serial worrier and overthinker, my thoughts are all over the place right now, and I’m starting to convince myself I’ll never be able to hold down a full time job as I’m currently unaware whether my issues are down to this specific job or just full time work in general.
I’m extremely scared and anxious about my situation. Everyone is telling me to give it time but I’m totally convinced that it won’t work. I can’t continue to live like this, I’ve always taken sleep for granted really throughout my time in education and this new-found insomnia is absolutely killing me. The simple fact is that I really did not anticipate this, and I’m not someone who is going to sit there and live like this because it will genuinely kill me. The thought that this is going to be it for me for the rest of my life terrifies me, I’m a young graduate with so many hopes and aspirations but I’m seriously worried that this anxiety and insomnia could derail all of that.
I’ve got a doctors appointment in 10 days to address my anxiety/insomnia. Every article I’ve read online re/ work-related stress/anxiety and insomnia is basically just people putting up with it or a list of trivial things you can do at night to try to help you sleep which I just know won’t help. All around me I see people coping extremely well with working life, whether it be my girlfriend, friends or colleagues and I am just dumbfounded as to why this has hit me so hard, it feels like no one can empathise. Does anyone have any words of advice/reassurance for me? I’m in an extremely bad place right now