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i cant remember if im still a virgin... watch

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    First of all you CAN get tested by your GP if you go in and explain the situation. I would strongly advise making a point of asking for a female GP!

    Secondly having worked in a hospital environment handling patient records I know how priority it is that they keep patient confidentiality. It can lead to Doctors and Nurses losing their jobs if broken and the majority of them are professional and have respect for their patients so it's unlikely to happen!
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    Probably not really a big issue to you right now, but the standard rule is that you should never get tested for STIs by the NHS (life insurance, etc, blah blah blah). Go to Share/Brook.

    Oh, and I'd still class you as a virgin - whether or not you have an intact hymen is irrelevant (especially seeing as you can break it without having sex); to my mind, losing your virginity is the experience of having sex.
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    (Original post by Angelil)
    Sorry, what the hell is this nonsense? You've either had a car parked in your garage or you haven't...

    <<snip>>
    Does she know whether or not she's been penetrated? No, so she can decide what she calls herself.
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    Usually, the GUM clinics are in a part of the hospital of their own - genito-urinary medicine :p: Sometimes it's by gynaecology or maternity etc. Where does your aunt work in the hospital?

    Also, how's this for an excuse if you get spotted? You thought you had thrush/yeast infection, and you found out that you could get treated for them for free from a GUM clinic. It's true :yep:
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    (Original post by Vykeera)
    Probably not really a big issue to you right now, but the standard rule is that you should never get tested for STIs by the NHS (life insurance, etc, blah blah blah).
    NHS GUM clinics don't even require your name, though. You can stay anonymous so it doesn't go on any records.
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    (Original post by suek)
    NHS GUM clinics don't even require your name, though. You can stay anonymous so it doesn't go on any records.
    And even if they have your name, they don't send them to your doctors, so they don't end up on your medical file, it's better to get tested than not, and the chance in the future that you may possibly want to take out life insurance really shouldn't be a factor.
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    Please ignore all this rubbish about hymens, that's the 1800s definition of a virgin. If you can't remember you had sex, and you don't think of what happened as significant or meaningful, then you can call yourself a virgin if you want to. It's just a word.
    ...No it's not. You only get one shot.
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    (Original post by Vykeera)
    Probably not really a big issue to you right now, but the standard rule is that you should never get tested for STIs by the NHS (life insurance, etc, blah blah blah)
    Im confussed. Where are we surpossed to go to get tested, if not the NHS which provide a service for this exact purpose?
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    (Original post by Dark Flower)
    Im confussed. Where are we surpossed to go to get tested, if not the NHS which provide a service for this exact purpose?
    I think Boots have a GUM clinic.
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    isnt there a chance that someone saw or heard you? And id tke the morning after pill straight away. Dont take any chances
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    (Original post by Johan C)
    ...No it's not. You only get one shot.
    Are you seriously suggesting that, in this age of sexual liberation and freedom, we are bound by technical definitions of virginity? If a woman has sex with her boyfriend but her hymen isn't broken for whatever reason, is she still a virgin? If she is forcefully raped, is she un-entitled (sic?) to call herself a virgin? Your internal dictionary needs updating if you're going to proclaim that "you only get one shot"; it suggests that the OP is somehow spoilt or impure, or some other ridiculous 1800s notion. I advise you to keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you.
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    (Original post by summertime_)
    I've made lots of stupid mistakes but if people are just going to pussy-foot around you rather than telling you straight you will never learn. Yeah, she might not have set out to get absolutely wasted but the point is she did, and now look what has happened. I'm sorry but someone has to tell her, it's just me who chose to.
    Your missing the point my dear.

    No-one is condoning getting trolleyed and doing things you regret. Your way of putting it too her WASNT just "telling you straight"- it was unpleasant and full of some right-wing ******** attitude of oh, look at me, I'd never do that.

    Telling someone they are stupid is pointless and does NOT do any good.

    Whereas saying, yes ok, this was a bad choice for you, but learn from it, and its not the end of the world- well that might actually help.

    I have made various mistakes and when someone takes the option of being exasperated and blunt and ridiculing me, its harder to see a way out of your problems.

    Its better to look on the optimistic side instead of just slating somebody
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    anon because this is extremely humiliating/shameful and i dont want people to know who i am.

    basically, last night i was at a huge house party (i'm a girl btw) and there was lots of alcohol going around.
    to make a long story short i ended up making out with this guy and as the night progressed, more and more alcohol was consumed.
    i remember going upstairs with him and then after that i dont remember anything....
    now this is the problem im not sure if i had sex with him or not. that might not sound too bad but i am (i was?) a virgin.
    the only reason i think i may have had sex is because when i woke up this morning my vagina was quite sore but this could be due to fingering maybe? or even dry sex?
    i dont need lectures because yes i know i was stupid but i basically want to know, is there any way of finding out if you're still a virgin or not?

    oh, just remembered - i woke up this morning and obviously thought i would ring the guy to ask him if we did have sex but he left for his 3 week holiday this morning! hes not answering his phone and i vaguely remember him saying something about him not taking it with him so dont bother texting or ringing him.

    any helpful advice would be much appreciated.
    Take the morning after pill, just in case.
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    i rang up the GUM clinic in the hospital where my aunt works and they said it is located away from the main hospital (which is where she works) but they said i would need an appointment so i've booked one for tomorrow afternoon.
    i explained that i was worried about my parents finding out and the lady was very nice. she said it takes two weeks for results to come through but they can text the results to my mobile phone to avoid my parents intercepting them at any point.
    i feel much more positive about everything now. once i know that i havent (and hopefully i havent!) got any STIs or anything im just gonna try and forget about everything until he gets back. and if he lies to me than i dont really care - the word 'virgin' doesnt truly mean anything really does it? i'll have my proper first time when i'm ready (it wont be for a while though).

    so yeah, thanks for your help everyone. it sounds stupid but without you lot i probably wouldnt have even thought about the morning after pill or any STIs. the only thing i was concerned with was my stupid virginity. you've all really helped me
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    Are you seriously suggesting that, in this age of sexual liberation and freedom, we are bound by technical definitions of virginity? If a woman has sex with her boyfriend but her hymen isn't broken for whatever reason, is she still a virgin? If she is forcefully raped, is she un-entitled (sic?) to call herself a virgin? Your internal dictionary needs updating if you're going to proclaim that "you only get one shot"; it suggests that the OP is somehow spoilt or impure, or some other ridiculous 1800s notion. I advise you to keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you.
    Who said the "1800s" hymen test was the ultimate check ? If a woman's engaged in the act of penetration she's no longer a virgin ; it's that simple. Doesn't matter whether she was gang-raped or lovingly embraced by the man of her life. The OP definitely wasted her shot if she let herself drink enough to have her first intercourse in these conditions. Don't try and pull this "you're a virgin as long as you say you are" BS on me ; my girlfriend's been trying hard and it just doesn't work : I don't deal in delusion. Don't advise me to do anything, fool. I know well enough what's good for myself, and right now, that would be to smash your face in.

    P.S. That's not how sic is used, A-Level kid...
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    (Original post by Johan C)
    Who said the "1800s" hymen test was the ultimate check ? If she's engaged in the act of penetration she's no longer a virgin ; it's that simple. Doesn't matter whether she was gang-raped or lovingly embraced by the man of her life. The OP definitely wasted her shot if she let herself drink enough to have her first intercourse in these conditions. Don't try and pull this "you're a virgin as long as you say you are" ******** on me ; my girlfriend's been trying hard and it just doesn't work : I don't deal in delusion. Don't advise me to do anything, fool.
    You are using the technical definition somewhat correctly, perhaps, but completely abusing it to the point of misogyny. And her shot at what? Virgin or not, an act doesn't have to be significant if she doesn't want it to be. It impinges on no one to keep this particular skeleton locked in the cupboard. A mistake is just a mistake, not a true representation of character.

    EDIT - and do my eyes deceive me, or are you suggesting that rape is partially the fault of the victim? It certainly seems that way, although I hope not, and I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and presume that's not what you meant.
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    You are using the technical definition somewhat correctly, perhaps, but completely abusing it to the point of misogyny. And her shot at what? Virgin or not, an act doesn't have to be significant if she doesn't want it to be. It impinges on no one to keep this particular skeleton locked in the cupboard. A mistake is just a mistake, not a true representation of character..
    Her shot at having a decent induction.

    That's a bit easy isn't it ? Just forget the inconvenient truths. Everyone makes mistakes, but to dismiss them and pretend they never happened is something else. I'm not saying she should run around publicising this sad story, but just forgetting about it and deciding that she's really still a virgin is nothing but self-deceipt.

    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    EDIT - and do my eyes deceive me, or are you suggesting that rape is partially the fault of the victim? It certainly seems that way, although I hope not, and I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and presume that's not what you meant.
    Yes please do James Rape is in no way the fault of the victim. On the other hand, ignoring the event is, and is only logical and justifiable if the mental pain is too much to bear otherwise.
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    (Original post by Johan C)
    Her shot at having a decent induction.

    That's a bit easy isn't it ? Just forget the inconvenient truths. Everyone makes mistakes, but to dismiss them and pretend they never happened is something else. I'm not saying she should run around publicising this sad story, but just forgetting about it and deciding that she's really still a virgin is nothing but self-deceipt.



    Yes please do James Rape is in no way the fault of the victim. On the other hand, ignoring the evnt is, and is only logical and justifiable if the mental pain is too much to bear otherwise.
    Aha, a reasoned response. Well done. I agree somewhat, she shouldn't erase it from her mind Eternal-Sunshine-Of-The Spotless-Mind-style, but it shouldn't have to impinge on future experiences, especially as she doesn't remember it in the first place.
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    Aha, a reasoned response. Well done. I agree somewhat, she shouldn't erase it from her mind Eternal-Sunshine-Of-The Spotless-Mind-style, but it shouldn't have to impinge on future experiences, especially as she doesn't remember it in the first place.
    Just how patronising are you ?

    I agree with the rest.
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    i have no idea what you lot are on about but its ok - its all sorted now so you can stop discussing it lol.
 
 
 
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