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    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    :five:
    Oops! I really should read the whole thread before I post
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    (Original post by Charlski)
    Oops! I really should read the whole thread before I post
    Don't worry about it, it makes me feel clever when people agree with me :yep:
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    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    Don't worry about it, it makes me feel clever when people agree with me :yep:

    Heh, well I'm sure you're very clever!
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    You might have difficulty getting through to her. She's probably all caught up in the feelings of this new guy - you know the usual blindness etc.

    But I think about all you can do is really, really try! Make an effort with her, to see her, talk to her, take her out places, try and get her to remember why she's with you in the first place.
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    sounds like you're fighting a losing battle mate. I find long distance never really works out so you might be better off letting go, I don't know.
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    i think you have every right to be annoyed. you should bring it up as soon as possible and tell her how it makes you feel and that you hoped she would have just dropped contact with him for your sake. It's not like asking her to stop hanging out with a close friend, she did cheat on you with him and she has to decide what is more important to her, him or you.
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    (Original post by Holty-Dave)
    sounds like you're fighting a losing battle mate. I find long distance never really works out so you might be better off letting go, I don't know.
    He's lasted longer than a lot of relationships.
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    (Original post by suek)
    He's lasted longer than a lot of relationships.
    Fair play to him but both sides tend to sway towards people who are around them more, in this case his girlfriend has fallen for another guy. I'd rather be seeing a girl regularly than maybe few times a month. How can that ever be a good thing in a relationship?
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    (Original post by Holty-Dave)
    Fair play to him but both sides tend to sway towards people who are around them more, in this case his girlfriend has fallen for another guy. I'd rather be seeing a girl regularly than maybe few times a month. How can that ever be a good thing in a relationship?
    Quite easily, if you have something worth the effort of distance apart. The ends justify the means and all that.

    Obviously, it's preferable to see the person regularly, but if that's not possible, if they are the person you want to be with for the long haul, it doesn't matter. If there's an eventual end point where you will get to spend your lives together, it's worth the distance.
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    (Original post by suek)
    But I think about all you can do is really, really try! Make an effort with her, to see her, talk to her, take her out places, try and get her to remember why she's with you in the first place.
    I completely agree! Great advice.
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    (Original post by suek)
    Quite easily, if you have something worth the effort of distance apart. The ends justify the means and all that.

    Obviously, it's preferable to see the person regularly, but if that's not possible, if they are the person you want to be with for the long haul, it doesn't matter. If there's an eventual end point where you will get to spend your lives together, it's worth the distance.
    Depends how old you are and how far you look into the future, is spending the rest of your life together really the focus of the relationship for an 18 year old for example. Generalisation I know but you see my point I hope :yep:
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    (Original post by Holty-Dave)
    Depends how old you are and how far you look into the future, is spending the rest of your life together really the focus of the relationship for an 18 year old for example. Generalisation I know but you see my point I hope :yep:
    I do And I always think it's worth a shot if both want to try.
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    (Original post by suek)
    I do And I always think it's worth a shot if both want to try.
    Course its worth maintaining a relationship as long as you can but I mean long distance is a big ask when realistically he won't be 'the one' if that is what you pursue. Just if it doesn't work out then there is a lot of regret when you could have been in a more involved relationship which is obviously better.

    Your opinion is cute though :p:
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    (Original post by Holty-Dave)
    Your opinion is cute though :p:
    Well I'm a hopeless romantic already in a long distance relationship hehe. But I am 22, and my age, along with prior experiences and different goals in life I guess, do tend to motivate me toward a different standpoint.

    I'm kinda looking for Mr Right now. And hoping I found him
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    (Original post by suek)
    Well I'm a hopeless romantic already in a long distance relationship hehe. But I am 22, and my age, along with prior experiences and different goals in life I guess, do tend to motivate me toward a different standpoint.

    I'm kinda looking for Mr Right now. And hoping I found him
    Its like looking for a job, really hard to get one and you never end up with what you really want to do. Literally.

    Good luck

    there is irony i am working right now in an office in huddersfield and really bored
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    #1

    I told her that I saw what she was writing after she flat out said she wasn't talking to him at all at that time. She didn't really say anything directly about what she was saying, but ended up changing her Facebook password. Hoo hum.

    We're going to meet in a couple of days. I thought a couple of weeks ago was bad; but perhaps this week will become the worst week of my life .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told her that I saw what she was writing after she flat out said she wasn't talking to him at all at that time. She didn't really say anything directly about what she was saying, but ended up changing her Facebook password. Hoo hum.

    We're going to meet in a couple of days. I thought a couple of weeks ago was bad; but perhaps this week will become the worst week of my life .
    I think you should just break up with her now. It will probably save you a lot of heart ache and you never know she may come crawling back after she's realised what she's lost.

    Good luck with whatever you do
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told her that I saw what she was writing after she flat out said she wasn't talking to him at all at that time. She didn't really say anything directly about what she was saying, but ended up changing her Facebook password. Hoo hum.

    We're going to meet in a couple of days. I thought a couple of weeks ago was bad; but perhaps this week will become the worst week of my life .
    Oh dear. I think a straight talk between you would be in order (once you're with her and she can't hang up if she doesn't like the way things are going). Basically, you need to state again that you know she has lied to you about this and you aren't happy about it. She also needs to be aware that she broke her promise not to discuss your relationship with this guy. If she continues to lie barefacedly to you, then I'd have serious questions about her commitment to you and also, to be frank, her sanity (thinking she can get away with it)!

    If she seems genuinely apologetic, then I'd definitely advise that you keep trying - 5 years is a long time to chuck in just because of a rough patch. On the other hand, if she continues to lie or just won't accept that she is doing anything wrong, then I'd say she has no respect for your feelings (or you, for that matter) and whether or not you dump her, your relationship is on the way out.
 
 
 
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