Should her past affect me?

Sorry mate but how old are you 😂this is for students

Lol I thought we could discuss anything on here...

Sorry mate but how old are you 😂this is for students

I’ve been seeing this amazing girl and I’m ready to marry her tomorrow if I could but she’s going through a divorce at the moment. (His side is taking ages on purpose to make her suffer more)

I wasn’t talking to her when she was with her ex and we got together once they had broken up. I can she tell us crazy for me as I am for but I sometimes think she still may love him and she might one day run back to him. I’m an underhanding person and I knew and accepted her past when I fell for her and knew I would get hurt along the process but she is worth it.

Basically I wanted to know Is it normal to think things like this because of her past and the fact it’s affecting her so much?

She loves me and feels safe around me, and fully trusts me to take care of for the rest of my life.

I told her she needs to tell him about me which she has today but I feel like it’s upset her more and I’m here thinking why? He made you suffer all these years so let him suffer now.

I love this girl more than anything in the world and I’m scared to even think about losing her now. She helped me get out of her depression too and I’ve bought happiness back into her life.

Almost everyone you date or have a relationship with nowadays will have a past of some sort.
You’re feeling insecure and it’s important that you don’t let irrational fears spoil your relationship
Her past relationship is over and done.
Will she go back? Extremely unlikely but not totally impossible. The same can be said when you start any relationship.
What matters is that you talk and be open with each other.
Don’t be making demands of her. Especially at such a difficult time for her. Why does she need to tell her ex about her new life? Unless there are children involved then all you’re asking her to do is provoke him. And that is not a good idea. Especially as the divorce is not final.
What you should be doing is reassuring her of your love and support. Let her lean on you during a stressful situation.
She is probably sad that a relationship she thought was forever is over. That’s normal. No one gets married expecting it to end. I have not been in that situation but I imagine that it makes her feel as if she’s failed in some way.
She doesn’t need you pressuring her and potentially making things worse.
Talk to each other. Be open. And be there for each other. There are no guarantees in relationships but if you keep rocking the boat then it’s likely to end
Good luck

Thank you for the reply I needed to hear that.

So the reason I told her to tell him was because I asked her if she really loved me as she said then she would tell him because he was prolong signing the papers for so long and when they met the other day to sign the papers , he didn’t end up signing them because he said he would sort them out from his side ASAP then when she got home he text her saying to give them another try and she told me all this. I told her to do what makes her happy.

So she’s told him today and what I wanted to happen has happened which is that now he is going to hurry up the process and get the divorce finalised

They don’t have kids btw.

I feel like she’s really upset about telling him about me but won’t tell me. But I did tell her do it for you and not because I’m advising you.

I think you really need to listen to what she needs right now.
When a marriage is over both parties are hurt and angry. And can lash out. It’s best not to give any ammunition to either side to make it difficult.
You need to trust that she loves you and support her in letting her decide when the time is right.
Be honest. And if you are then you’ll see that asking her to tell him about you was about you really.
There’s no right or wrong but I wouldn’t have added fuel to the fire.
Her decision is made. It’s over. And he can beg and plead and cry all he wants. If she no longer loves him then it really doesn’t matter.
Just give her your love and let her proceed how she thinks best.
Ending a marriage is complicated.
But if you support her non judgementally then you’ve a good chance of making it work

Thank you, you’re right