Should I report sexual encounter from many years ago Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I am now 21 but when I was 13 I was with this boy who was 17 and I agreed to let him touch me while in the swimming pool changing rooms, does this still count as sexual assault? should I report it?
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MrMusician95
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#2
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Yes you were underage but you've said you agreed to let him?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
Yes you were underage but you've said you agreed to let him?
er yeah I did say he could but I regretted it after
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vicvic38
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
Yes you were underage but you've said you agreed to let him?
Lol but she was underage what does her consent matter.
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Rock Fan
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#5
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Isn't it statuary rape at 13?
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aciana
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#6
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
Yes you were underage but you've said you agreed to let him?
Are you serious? If an underage person agree to something sexual with someone much older then it's ok? It is abuse. Some victims are so young they don't even understand at all, it's presented to them in a "nice" way and so they go along with and want to please the older, more powerful person. The agreement of a child/minor does not let the predative abuser off the hook. I can't believe I have to explain this.
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sinfonietta
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Why exactly do you want to report it?

I was raped 20 years ago. I'd achieve absolutely nothing from reporting that person now, so I've left it be. That person now has a loving partner and is a great father figure to her children. At the time he was just a dumb horny teenager. I'm not going to ruin his life over that. I don't know if sharing this with you will help you make a decision in any way. But I hope you realise it's a decision that shouldn't be made lightly.
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Isn't it statuary rape at 13?
We don't have that in the UK. We have being sexual with a child, or something. But as the guy was under 18 at the time I doubt the police would do anything. Those laws are more to stop someone over 18 taking advantage of someone underage.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
Why exactly do you want to report it?

I was raped 20 years ago. I'd achieve absolutely nothing from reporting that person now, so I've left it be. That person now has a loving partner and is a great father figure to her children. At the time he was just a dumb horny teenager. I'm not going to ruin his life over that. I don't know if sharing this with you will help you make a decision in any way. But I hope you realise it's a decision that shouldn't be made lightly.
It's nothing about vengeance. It's that the man was obviously dangerous and should learn that he cannot abuse people in such a way.

I find your post to be disappointing. Not everyone "outgrows" and realises the abhorrence in their moral actions, just as your rapist has apparently done so. Even then, if all things are fine and dandy with the man who abused you now, your case is unlike many others. Not everyone ends up being a jolly good person after being a rapist. It's a shame that you're literally discouraging someone from outing their abuse. As a society, we ought to be encouraging abuse victims to overcome their trauma and for the authorities to get help for dangerous people who are raping/abusing others.
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sinfonietta
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's nothing about vengeance. It's that the man was obviously dangerous and should learn that he cannot abuse people in such a way.

I find your post to be disappointing. Not everyone "outgrows" and realises the abhorrence in their moral actions, just as your rapist has apparently done so. Even then, if all things are fine and dandy with the man who abused you now, your case is unlike many others. Not everyone ends up being a jolly good person after being a rapist. It's a shame that you're literally discouraging someone from outing their abuse. As a society, we ought to be encouraging abuse victims to overcome their trauma and for the authorities to get help for dangerous people who are raping/abusing others.
I told her to not to take the decision lightly, and shared my own personal experience with the topic to show my own thought process on the matter. I didn't tell her at any point what she should or shouldn't do. Her post didn't make it sound like she'd given it much thought - e.g. how this would impact either of them or her expectations from speaking up about it. Hence why I encouraged her to think about it first.
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londonmyst
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#11
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Go with your gut instinct.
Because you were under the age of 16 and he was 17, you could report him to the police because you were below the age of sexual consent.
But it would likely come down to your word against his.
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londonmyst
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#12
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
Why exactly do you want to report it?

I was raped 20 years ago. I'd achieve absolutely nothing from reporting that person now, so I've left it be. That person now has a loving partner and is a great father figure to her children. At the time he was just a dumb horny teenager. I'm not going to ruin his life over that. I don't know if sharing this with you will help you make a decision in any way. But I hope you realise it's a decision that shouldn't be made lightly.
It is very brave of you to talk about being a rape survivor and your decision not to report the rapist.
I think you are very generous person to be able to forgive and care about the future of the rapist.

If a teenage paedophile had raped me when I was 8 or 9 years old, concerns about ruining his life would not enter into the equation at all.
I'd probably be more focused making him the most unpopular sex offender on his cell block or most famous sex offender in his neighbourhood.
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Anonymous #3
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#13
(Original post by sinfonietta)
Why exactly do you want to report it?

I was raped 20 years ago. I'd achieve absolutely nothing from reporting that person now, so I've left it be. That person now has a loving partner and is a great father figure to her children. At the time he was just a dumb horny teenager. I'm not going to ruin his life over that. I don't know if sharing this with you will help you make a decision in any way. But I hope you realise it's a decision that shouldn't be made lightly.
How do you know that he hasn’t done it again? A lot of people appear to be great parents from the outside but you can’t know that for certain. Being horny isn’t an excuse.
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londonmyst
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
How do you know that he hasn’t done it again? A lot of people appear to be great parents from the outside but you can’t know that for certain. Being horny isn’t an excuse.
You're being very harsh.
She was a child under 10 years old when the paedophile raped her and is now in her 20s.
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