Miss,Ms

I don't actually have a problem with feminism, in its truest form; but when it manifests itself in typical (and frankly predictable) overreactions to innocuous, everyday institutions - then I start to lose patience, very quickly: many teenage girls like to immerse themselves in soapbox feminism - changing their name to Ms; flirting with the idea of lesbianism; hero(ine)-worshipping everything with a vagina that ever dared to differ; belittling the big, bad masculine oppressor...

I find the whole thing rather tedious.

Nope wouldnt have a wedding party. Just be me and the boyf in Bali (or someone equally fabulous) at the ceremony. And we would have these bands in platinum engraved with our names and the date.

http://www.tiffany.com/expertise/diamond/rings/wedband_lucida.asp?

my mums a lady but it doesnt mean anything these days. You can buy the title for a few grand.

Well, hate to break it to you, but if you wear a wedding ring, people tend to know you're married.

...and getting engaged to their boyfriends just so they can be different

I dont mind people knowing I am if they see me but I dont want it to be something associated with my name and having someone somewhere placing me in the marriage box

Mind you evetyone is doing it these days it doesnt really make them different anymore

so you wouldn't take your husbands name? I am going to be traditional again but I think thats quite odd. My fiance asked if Im keeping my name and I was really offended.

Right ok. So you don't mind if someone knows you're married just by looking at you, but they can't associate that with your name without seeing you?

Yeah-odd i know but my name is something I feel really strongly about.

so you wouldn't take your husbands name? I am going to be traditional again but I think thats quite odd. My fiance asked if Im keeping my name and I was really offended.

Okie dokie

Yep and the children will have my name too.

Right ok. So you don't mind if someone knows you're married just by looking at you, but they can't associate that with your name without seeing you?

The whole thing seems 100% illogical to me - and it reminds me of my mother: on the one hand she craves her feminine identity (through the use of Ms. and such on bank statements and at work - Ms. is rather 'fashionable' in academia); and yet when it suits her (i.e. in situations where she doesn't want to be [mistakenly] viewed as a single-mother) - she'll use her marital name.

I can't stand this highly adaptable, pragmatic take on feminism.

hmmm personally I am quite an independent person and I am very proud of my last name and its roots in Scotland. My family goes back a hell of a long way. My fiance has a horrible plain name and has no history and doesn't really care. But I will still take his name because I don't think it comprimses who I am, it just shows that I am connected to someone else.