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    Just had to leave mine today.4068 miles away again *sigh* I think the fact I've been up for 30 hours isn't helping either...
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    (Original post by theparsniplady)
    Just had to leave mine today.4068 miles away again *sigh* I think the fact I've been up for 30 hours isn't helping either...
    Hello... you're new here, right?
    That's quite some distance! Take solace in the fact that you have an awesome username. I love parsnips, nom nom.
    Also... Bubble baths, chocolate and snuggly duvets are the way forward...go get some sleep!
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    Hi everyone, I'm back. I refrained from going on TSR for a while because of being so busy (and well since I was with my boyfriend, there was no need to come rant on here ) and I knew there would be so much to catch up on ... So what's up? Any changes?

    For me, my Christmas was great. It was the first Christmas holiday I got to spend with my boyfriend in 3 years, the two before this one were in New York or Florida, so I was really excited about having this moment of the year with him. We were together 24/7 for 2 weeks, going from his to my house etc. I gave him the calendar, which he loved, and everyone else too, his dad said I have the best ideas. He got other things from me too. And I got the Woodstock DVD, There will be blood, a massage book, special candy and a ring. The ring is of course the highlight, but just need to mention that is is not an engagement ring. But I really love it, and when I see it on my hand it reminds me of him. He did say, that to him, it was also some kind of 'promise' ring, and that it was right below an engagement ring, meaning that that would be the next level.

    It was so good being able to be together without having to part in the next few days, being ourselves with our families and just having the lifestyle we had before. This was very comforting, to know that we're the same, only better, and that we really do want the same things and that it's only a matter of time until we can be together the way we really want to be.
    It was also my first new year's with him, and although I had a stomach ache all day and night (it finally went away at 4am..) it was one the best, being able to kiss him at midnight (it especially outrules last year's new year's when we were in upstate new york with inches of snow at one of my mom's friends and her weird husband playing really loud heavy metal all night and blowing whistles right in our ears..).
    And my American grandparents and aunt came to visit and I was very glad he got to meet them and spend time getting to know them.
    It was just such a great holiday and even though I'm so sad it's over I think we really did make the best of it, living each day at the fullest. Carpe Diem.
    Now I don't even have that long until our next time unlike many of you, and I know i'm lucky, I will actually be seeing him 3 week ends this month (one including both us going home for my mom's birthday). So I'm looking forward to all that, but in the meantime will try to stick to new resolutions going to the gym, socialising more with my flatmates, etc...
    So now that I have told you my life I will now go to what seems like a 'pampering session' with my flatmates in the kitchen!
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    Just had to say bye to my boyfriend for the first time. Long story, basically this was the first time I saw him properly. Met him almost a month ago but he was going home the next day. We got together properly something like 4 days later, it all moved really fast, and he came over on Sunday there.

    He was meant to be staying till yesterday, but he took another day off work to stay with me. We've been together constantly since Sunday and it's just been perfect. Left him at the train station about 2 hours ago, and I cried all over him. Cried on Wednesday night, and last night too. Does it get easier? Like, do you get used to saying goodbye? Cos I can't keep crying every time one of us leaves, it'll be ridiculous. I'm not even a crier, before this I hadn't cried since summer.

    Ahh I just feel so strange. I'm so happy, because he's great and we're together. But I've been tearful since this morning and the slightest thing sets me off. I just want to talk about it really... sigh.
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    Unfortunately, for me who's been LDR since September (and with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years) I must say that I do not find it easier... I still cry everytime we have to part. And I must say that I wasn't a crier either...
    You do sort of get used to the prospect that this is how it is, although that doesn't mean I accept it... And thats why my head is messed up. I'm from France and my boyfriend is living in France, and I made the decision to come to England to study Music. But I'm having second thoughts about everything, if I made the right decision to come here etc, and I've had this dilemma for 3 months now...
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    I am really down at the moment because this is the first weekend i haven't been with my boyfriend in 3 weeks and i won't see him for another three weeks because he is in uni and has exams.
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    (Original post by Rocky Raccoon)
    Unfortunately, for me who's been LDR since September (and with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years) I must say that I do not find it easier... I still cry everytime we have to part. And I must say that I wasn't a crier either...
    You do sort of get used to the prospect that this is how it is, although that doesn't mean I accept it... And thats why my head is messed up. I'm from France and my boyfriend is living in France, and I made the decision to come to England to study Music. But I'm having second thoughts about everything, if I made the right decision to come here etc, and I've had this dilemma for 3 months now...

    I know how you feel...it definately doesn't get any easier to say goodbye. I had to say goodbye again on Saturday to come back to France to living on my own. I though because we have done it twice before and because it's only another few months til I finish for good, that it would be easier, but it wsan't...i cried practically the whole weekend!!!!

    I cannot describe in words how much I miss him. I'm feeling slightly more positive now though because I have booked my tickets for my next visit home, which is giving me something to look forward to.

    I do often feel guilty though, because I am earning great life experience and I feel as though I am wishing it away!
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    well i never had the chance to say goodbye to my gf cause i never had the chance to fly to see her,at least the rest of you are seeing your partner quite often.but i know saying goodbye can be really hard,am gonna see my gf in 2months time after 8long months.and i know its gonna hurt sooooooo bad when we have to say goodbye again.
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    I never knew this forum existed, and im glad it does lol
    Im feeling pretty down at the moment as well, my bfs going back to uni on sunday and ive been spending almost everyday this xmas with him. I dont go back to uni until next week which is really annoying. Im really worried that this semester will be even harder than the last one, the first wasnt easy but it seemed to work okayish, argh i just hate the fact i only get to see him every 2 weeks for like 2 days! I know its not that bad compared to some but i wish he was there sometimes when im stressed or sad or even really happy about something. Its bad its making me not want to go back to uni! Argh any advice on how i can feel slightly better.
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    (Original post by sharpesparkle)
    Hello... you're new here, right?
    That's quite some distance! Take solace in the fact that you have an awesome username. I love parsnips, nom nom.
    Also... Bubble baths, chocolate and snuggly duvets are the way forward...go get some sleep!

    Hey, yer, just stumbled across this thread by mistake. Have been doing the ldr thing for a year and a half now. And to everyone who's asking, it definitely doesn't get any easier! But yes, I do feel a lot better after the sleep, I must say. The chocolate's a great idea too :p:
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    (Original post by Rocky Raccoon)
    Unfortunately, for me who's been LDR since September (and with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years) I must say that I do not find it easier... I still cry everytime we have to part. And I must say that I wasn't a crier either...
    You do sort of get used to the prospect that this is how it is, although that doesn't mean I accept it... And thats why my head is messed up. I'm from France and my boyfriend is living in France, and I made the decision to come to England to study Music. But I'm having second thoughts about everything, if I made the right decision to come here etc, and I've had this dilemma for 3 months now...
    Hmm... thanks for replying. And polythenepam. I feel a bit silly since you've been with your boyfriends for years, and this is a totally new thing for me.

    Oh well. I'll just have to put up with it I suppose. At least I know it's not just me, I thought I was being silly and felt daft for crying on him. I'll get used to it though. Totally worth it
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    Of course it's worth it, well for me it's probably the best thing in my life at the moment and hopefully for a long time.
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    Me and Jack had one of those conversations this morning. One of those, 'Are we doing the right thing? Will it get better? Can we be happy?' conversations. Yeah, the type that makes me cry for about two hours on my mum's shoulder then watch old cowboy films all day to take my mind off it.
    I'm terrified of losing him... and I hate what I've become; clingy, obsessive- I've lost myself somewhere along the way.
    And I just wish he'd ring me again so that we could have a nice normal chat, and I could feel reassured that it's just yet another dip.
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    Well I've just had a 'normal' conversation with him on skype, but I somewhat ended up crying at the end, and since then (it's been an hour now) I can't stop. And it's put in that position, questioning and being irrational. I just sent him a really long message on the skype chat, that he will get tomorrow about how I feel. I am not questioning us, just letting it out and asking myself if I made the right decision to come here (for 2 1/2 more years!) and that I'm not able to cope with all this etc...
    What started it is that he is completely alone this week end and I will not be with him, and it breaks my heart...
    This said, I should now go to bed, crying so much is tiring and it makes me feel pathetic.
    Good Night.
    • #73
    #73

    Hi everyone. I have a problem that I'm hoping you'll be able to give me some advice on..even though it's quite lengthy!

    I won't go into details about how we met, because that isn't important. However, a bit of background about myself, arrogant as it sounds, might help. I’m Hindu, and my parents are really lenient about most things, they let me do pretty much whatever I want. They only have one rule: no boyfriends. So I’ve mostly stuck to this rule, and up till about seven months ago had never even kissed a guy or had a ‘proper’ boyfriend, I’d been asked but never wanted to betray my parents’ trust. Therefore when I did have a ‘boyfriend’ and when I started seeing the guy I’m going to talk about, my parents could never know and I had to lie every time I saw him. Before I met someone seven months ago, I had always taken heed of my friends’ mistakes and was determined not to ever let myself get hurt, I was determined never to let a guy hurt me.

    Then I met someone about August last year. Even though he was 22 and I 18, we got on really well. We went for coffee together and I could tell straight away we had a lot in common. We started texting everyday (we both have unlimited texts so this wasn't a problem) and this became more frequent, (it might strike some as odd but we now don't stop texting..we've been having a massive 'conversation' since Octoberish) and we eventually managed to meet up again and went shopping in Central London. We did this a few more times before we both inadvertedly 'admitted' we were into each other, and settled into, what I thought, was quite a comfortable relationship, even if it had happened rather quickly. This was quite unusual for me, but he reassured me he wasn’t like other guys (what an idiot I am to fall for this cliché, I know!) so I trusted him and ‘took down my wall’.

    From there we met up again only a few times.
    This was because he lives in Kent and I in South London - sort of Wimbledon area for anyone who knows it. So this meant we didn't get to see each other much because he lives far and because he worked, from 2140 at night to 0600. Therefore we could only meet up on weekends he had off and I was free on (as I am currently doing A levels). We see each other roughly every 3-5weeks.However, we both made time when we could and I went to his house in Kent once for a weekend, during which, considering we’d only ‘been together’ about four months, things ‘progressed’ quickly.

    However, about three weeks after that, during December, I voiced my curiosity as to why he didn’t like being officially called my boyfriend even though he was , when he totally threw me by saying he wasn’t my boyfriend and couldn’t give me what I wanted (a relationship) and that we should just be friends. He said it wasn’t fair for me to wait for him while he decided whether he was ready or not, and when I questioned whether he had commitment issues he said ‘Pass?’, even though he had mentioned several times he didn’t want to be with anyone but me, if he were to have a relationship. He said it wouldn’t work for many reasons: he was starting a new job in January, I had Uni (even though I’m taking a gap year), I have too much work, we never see each other, he has an issue with me not telling my parents and having to lie to cover up seeing him, and there’s too much distance between us. I lost all my dignity and self respect by spending the entire night on the phone to him crying and trying to convince him we can overcome all those things if we both want it enough, to no avail. He said we should be friends and that’s it.

    After spending a week crying continuously and texting him mean texts everyday (he insisted we still talk) about what an idiot I was and how I should never have trusted him, I finally realised I couldn’t deal with this much emotional turmoil until after my exams, so decided to ‘forgive’ him and started talking to him properly. We sort of slipped back to our old ways during the Christmas break, by getting intimate again. Stupid, I know.

    Now however, he is starting a new job at the end of the month, which will require him to go to a training college for at least 6months, following this he will have two years of placements anywhere in Kent working 9-5 everyday and then he will be fully qualified. In order to complete his training he is going to be moving to his accommodation, further away from where he lives now.

    So now I don’t know what to do. It is obvious that this new job is what’s stopping him from the relationship the most. But then I also think; do all people that go to work in his field sacrifice relationships? Of course not!
    However I’m now torn as to what to do. I don’t know whether to cut all ties with him at the end of this month when he joins his new job and moves away (he’ll be back for weekends though), so I can get over him and move on, or whether to stay friends and actually deal with being just friends, which might mean I don’t get over him. Or is there another option available to me? I just don’t know. Any advice is really, really appreciated.

    I’m as confused as you probably are now – and if you’re still reading, wow.
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    what do you do when you are far away from home at uni, make friends and after three years come back home. You would eventually lose a lot of relationships made at uni. Is there a way to overcome this? Travel would take to long if it was something like a Manchester to London journey. Is it best to just go to a uni near home?
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    do any of you find it particularly hard getting on a train/plane to leave them, i find it so embarassing/sad, i cant seem to stop myself from crying its awful, especially as i get wierd looks from others on the train gargh
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    (Original post by midgetgem1989)
    do any of you find it particularly hard getting on a train/plane to leave them, i find it so embarassing/sad, i cant seem to stop myself from crying its awful, especially as i get wierd looks from others on the train gargh
    Its normally my boyfriend that gets on the train. I stand on the platform and wait for his train to leave. It makes my heart ache each time and it doesn't seem to get any easier.
    I try not to cry in front of him just as he's leaving as it'll only make it harder for him. But I can't help but cry once he's gone.
    I don't find it embarrassing though and it doesn't bother me if other people are looking, my main concern is that he's just gone away.

    Do you have much distance between you and your partner?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’m as confused as you probably are now – and if you’re still reading, wow.
    I read it! And to keep it short and sweet, ditch him.
    I really think he sounds like he's only after one thing (I sound like such an old lady!), and doesn't really have any consideration for your feelings.
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    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by midgetgem1989)
    do any of you find it particularly hard getting on a train/plane to leave them, i find it so embarassing/sad, i cant seem to stop myself from crying its awful, especially as i get wierd looks from others on the train gargh
    I sobbed all the way from London to where I live last time I left him. The people on my table couldn't stop staring at me! :ninjagirl:
 
 
 
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