The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

People do far bigger distances. if you really like her then go for it otherwise you'll always be wondering what if. you can always train it down (long i know) but if you book far enough in advance and get a railcard it'll be cheaper or of course flying and if need be coach. theres many ways to make it work and many people who make that kinda distance work, its not easy but if you're willing to put in the effort then it can.

cause I live in Aberdeen.

500 mile away

+ a 0 for me.

ie. 500 + 0 = 5000 miles away.

Since I started my LDR with my partner a while ago I've had no problems with it. Obviously it's always going to be somewhat stressful, but it just didn't affect me.

Until recently, that is. The whole idea that I have to see my partner leave for 2 weeks every so often is making me sadder than ever I broke down into tears. It's like I hadn't realised how stressful the distance thing has been until now.

Can anyone provide me with some advice? Is this just a phase I'm going through or is this a sign that I'm not fit to carry on anymore? I don't want to be in an LDR if I'm going to spontaneously break down at night when I'm alone in bed and constantly stress myself out, but I don't know if I should wait a little longer...

I go through phases when I feel like this and I know its horrible. But its worth it I think, if you really love your partner then surely life without them would be so much worse than just having them gone for weeks at a time.
Communication is key of course, you need to make sure you talk to your partner about how you're feeling.

Whenever I'm feeling a little down or I'm missing my boyfriend more than normal I ring him up and talk to him about how I'm feeling. Just talking when I feel like that makes me realise how worth it it is.
Saying that, I have never doubted that I'm doing the right thing no matter how hard I'm finding it. I can see my life with him in the future so what does a year or two matter in the scheme of things?

I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend but I find that when he comes home I get closer to him and we share more and things so its going to be upsetting.

I think its natural that you're getting upset because of course you are going to miss your partner. It does end up getting a little easier, but I still find it very hard. Especially if I have other things going on that are quite stressful.

How long do you go without seeing your partner? And do you talk regularly?

How long were you long distance?

I go through phases when I feel like this and I know its horrible. But its worth it I think, if you really love your partner then surely life without them would be so much worse than just having them gone for weeks at a time.
Communication is key of course, you need to make sure you talk to your partner about how you're feeling.

Whenever I'm feeling a little down or I'm missing my boyfriend more than normal I ring him up and talk to him about how I'm feeling. Just talking when I feel like that makes me realise how worth it it is.
Saying that, I have never doubted that I'm doing the right thing no matter how hard I'm finding it. I can see my life with him in the future so what does a year or two matter in the scheme of things?

I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend but I find that when he comes home I get closer to him and we share more and things so its going to be upsetting.

I think its natural that you're getting upset because of course you are going to miss your partner. It does end up getting a little easier, but I still find it very hard. Especially if I have other things going on that are quite stressful.

How long do you go without seeing your partner? And do you talk regularly?

This is exactly what I think too. And my boyfriend always tells me that we're in this situation for like 2 more years, but compared to what life has to offer that's nothing, and we'll have the rest of our lives to be together the way we want to.
Of course it's hard, but throwing it away, for me, would be my biggest mistake.

Aww! Some of these stories. I've never met other people with long distance relationships before =D

My partner lives in London and I live in Bristol (2hr 30s away directly, but I have to take the coach, train and walk, so it takes us 4hrs 30 to get to each other), so that's not too far.

I love being in a long distance relationship! I think it's the best!!
But I can't wait to be able to live with him, if we last that long, 'cause I would adore that too. ^^

But it makes me sad reading some people's posts "I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend", =( =( =( . I know how you feel!! Sometimes, the trips are too good to want to leave. But, I think we both got used to it now and usually as soon as we don't see each other (we travel via coaches to get home) we just phone and speak for a while, eases it in.

I was just curious... but why do you say this?
What do you think makes it good?
Just asking as I'm probably going into a LDR in September.

Well, it totally depends on what kind of person you are.

I love it because it works well for me. We don't have to see each other all the time (although we talk to each other everyday, usually). For those people who can't bare to be away from their partners - it's really not for them. When we do see each other, it's wonderful and I'm always excited/looking forward to seeing him, even after so long.

Also, just to throw in the negatives, the fact that are concerntrated hours may drive pepole mad. You could argue more or not be able to think of what to do after a few visits/after doing as many activities, etc, as you can think of. Luckily, we haven't really encountered this problem. And personally, I quite love that they're concerntrated, ha ha =D

I hope that helps. xx