Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 22KT22)
    People do far bigger distances. if you really like her then go for it otherwise you'll always be wondering what if. you can always train it down (long i know) but if you book far enough in advance and get a railcard it'll be cheaper or of course flying and if need be coach. theres many ways to make it work and many people who make that kinda distance work, its not easy but if you're willing to put in the effort then it can.
    agreed. it can work but it sucks.

    i'm drunk.

    and my guy is forever away.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SillyFencer)
    cause I live in Aberdeen.

    500 mile away
    + a 0 for me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by erk)
    + a 0 for me.
    eh?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    ie. 500 + 0 = 5000 miles away.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by erk)
    ie. 500 + 0 = 5000 miles away.
    :no: Not when I was at school!






    :p: I kid, I know what you mean now.
    • #59
    #59

    Since I started my LDR with my partner a while ago I've had no problems with it. Obviously it's always going to be somewhat stressful, but it just didn't affect me.

    Until recently, that is. The whole idea that I have to see my partner leave for 2 weeks every so often is making me sadder than ever I broke down into tears. It's like I hadn't realised how stressful the distance thing has been until now.

    Can anyone provide me with some advice? Is this just a phase I'm going through or is this a sign that I'm not fit to carry on anymore? I don't want to be in an LDR if I'm going to spontaneously break down at night when I'm alone in bed and constantly stress myself out, but I don't know if I should wait a little longer...
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since I started my LDR with my partner a while ago I've had no problems with it. Obviously it's always going to be somewhat stressful, but it just didn't affect me.

    Until recently, that is. The whole idea that I have to see my partner leave for 2 weeks every so often is making me sadder than ever I broke down into tears. It's like I hadn't realised how stressful the distance thing has been until now.

    Can anyone provide me with some advice? Is this just a phase I'm going through or is this a sign that I'm not fit to carry on anymore? I don't want to be in an LDR if I'm going to spontaneously break down at night when I'm alone in bed and constantly stress myself out, but I don't know if I should wait a little longer...
    I go through phases when I feel like this and I know its horrible. But its worth it I think, if you really love your partner then surely life without them would be so much worse than just having them gone for weeks at a time.
    Communication is key of course, you need to make sure you talk to your partner about how you're feeling.

    Whenever I'm feeling a little down or I'm missing my boyfriend more than normal I ring him up and talk to him about how I'm feeling. Just talking when I feel like that makes me realise how worth it it is.
    Saying that, I have never doubted that I'm doing the right thing no matter how hard I'm finding it. I can see my life with him in the future so what does a year or two matter in the scheme of things?

    I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend but I find that when he comes home I get closer to him and we share more and things so its going to be upsetting.

    I think its natural that you're getting upset because of course you are going to miss your partner. It does end up getting a little easier, but I still find it very hard. Especially if I have other things going on that are quite stressful.

    How long do you go without seeing your partner? And do you talk regularly?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucyhol1012)
    I go through phases when I feel like this and I know its horrible. But its worth it I think, if you really love your partner then surely life without them would be so much worse than just having them gone for weeks at a time.
    Communication is key of course, you need to make sure you talk to your partner about how you're feeling.

    Whenever I'm feeling a little down or I'm missing my boyfriend more than normal I ring him up and talk to him about how I'm feeling. Just talking when I feel like that makes me realise how worth it it is.
    Saying that, I have never doubted that I'm doing the right thing no matter how hard I'm finding it. I can see my life with him in the future so what does a year or two matter in the scheme of things?

    I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend but I find that when he comes home I get closer to him and we share more and things so its going to be upsetting.

    I think its natural that you're getting upset because of course you are going to miss your partner. It does end up getting a little easier, but I still find it very hard. Especially if I have other things going on that are quite stressful.

    How long do you go without seeing your partner? And do you talk regularly?
    This is exactly what I think too. And my boyfriend always tells me that we're in this situation for like 2 more years, but compared to what life has to offer that's nothing, and we'll have the rest of our lives to be together the way we want to.
    Of course it's hard, but throwing it away, for me, would be my biggest mistake.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Random question..

    Has anyone not been able to handle the long distance & have left for that reason & other factor as a result of the long distance pressure?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No. Well it's only been since September that we're in this situation, so I can't tell the future, but I really don't think that would happen, to us in any case. (read above post)
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Archangel's Kiss)
    Random question..

    Has anyone not been able to handle the long distance & have left for that reason & other factor as a result of the long distance pressure?
    I have to admit that I ended an LDR years ago, blaming the distance. The distance wasn't actually the problem though, as the relationship wasn't working for me even before we went LD. I think the distance just highlighted the issues that were already there.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Archangel's Kiss)
    Random question..

    Has anyone not been able to handle the long distance & have left for that reason & other factor as a result of the long distance pressure?
    Yes i was engaged. Im in glasgow my partner was in portsmouth, we were engaged for a year and the distance broke us down it got to the point were we hardly talked and things fell apart. She contacted me not that long ago and we spoke for a while about everything, we realised that if the distance wasnt as big an issue we'd still be together now i actually had to stop talking to her a) my girlfriend that i been with for nearly 2 years wasnt happy about it and b) the more and more we talked the more we realised we still had feelings for each other and we are both in relationships and we didnt want to ruin that when we already ruined parts of each others life we couldn't do it again.

    So yeah ive had a long distance relationship that didn't work but in the end it's made me a better person me and my partner are so much stronger than what i thought i could be with someone again and yeah things are good.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    How long were you long distance?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rocky Raccoon)
    How long were you long distance?
    Nearly 2 years
    • #59
    #59

    (Original post by lucyhol1012)
    I go through phases when I feel like this and I know its horrible. But its worth it I think, if you really love your partner then surely life without them would be so much worse than just having them gone for weeks at a time.
    Communication is key of course, you need to make sure you talk to your partner about how you're feeling.

    Whenever I'm feeling a little down or I'm missing my boyfriend more than normal I ring him up and talk to him about how I'm feeling. Just talking when I feel like that makes me realise how worth it it is.
    Saying that, I have never doubted that I'm doing the right thing no matter how hard I'm finding it. I can see my life with him in the future so what does a year or two matter in the scheme of things?

    I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend but I find that when he comes home I get closer to him and we share more and things so its going to be upsetting.

    I think its natural that you're getting upset because of course you are going to miss your partner. It does end up getting a little easier, but I still find it very hard. Especially if I have other things going on that are quite stressful.

    How long do you go without seeing your partner? And do you talk regularly?
    Thanks for the advice :hugs:! With regards to the bolded point, I completely agree. The more I see him, the closer I get to him. I discover wonderful bits of his personality I hadn't noticed before, and for some reason he'll just look even sexier than he did before :p:!

    Normally we see each other every two weeks, plus or minus one week depending on the circumstances - so it's not a very long time, but it is a pain! And yeah, we talk everyday; whether it's just random chitchat on MSN or a quick phonecall before bed, with some cute texts here and there.

    (Original post by Rocky Raccoon)
    This is exactly what I think too. And my boyfriend always tells me that we're in this situation for like 2 more years, but compared to what life has to offer that's nothing, and we'll have the rest of our lives to be together the way we want to.
    Of course it's hard, but throwing it away, for me, would be my biggest mistake.
    Ugh, I hate when my boyfriend tells me that, but it's the harsh reality. For us, it's three and a half more years minimum before we can even start to think about living much closer to each other (or even together). But then there's life after graduation, and although one must make compromises in a relationship, there's the crappy feeling that we'll be split apart again 'cause of our personal career goals.

    Anyway, I'm going to try and stop being sad about it now :o: My partner feels a little bad that I've cried a lot in front him recently, so a positive attitude is the way to go ...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Aww! Some of these stories. I've never met other people with long distance relationships before =D

    My partner lives in London and I live in Bristol (2hr 30s away directly, but I have to take the coach, train and walk, so it takes us 4hrs 30 to get to each other), so that's not too far.

    I love being in a long distance relationship! I think it's the best!!
    But I can't wait to be able to live with him, if we last that long, 'cause I would adore that too. ^^

    But it makes me sad reading some people's posts "I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend", =( =( =( . I know how you feel!! Sometimes, the trips are too good to want to leave. But, I think we both got used to it now and usually as soon as we don't see each other (we travel via coaches to get home) we just phone and speak for a while, eases it in.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jazmine)
    Aww! Some of these stories. I've never met other people with long distance relationships before =D

    My partner lives in London and I live in Bristol (2hr 30s away directly, but I have to take the coach, train and walk, so it takes us 4hrs 30 to get to each other), so that's not too far.

    I love being in a long distance relationship! I think it's the best!!
    But I can't wait to be able to live with him, if we last that long, 'cause I would adore that too. ^^

    But it makes me sad reading some people's posts "I still cry each time I have to say goodbye to my boyfriend", =( =( =( . I know how you feel!! Sometimes, the trips are too good to want to leave. But, I think we both got used to it now and usually as soon as we don't see each other (we travel via coaches to get home) we just phone and speak for a while, eases it in.
    I was just curious... but why do you say this?
    What do you think makes it good?
    Just asking as I'm probably going into a LDR in September.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by juicyfruit)
    I was just curious... but why do you say this?
    What do you think makes it good?
    Just asking as I'm probably going into a LDR in September.
    Well, it totally depends on what kind of person you are.

    I love it because it works well for me. We don't have to see each other all the time (although we talk to each other everyday, usually). For those people who can't bare to be away from their partners - it's really not for them. When we do see each other, it's wonderful and I'm always excited/looking forward to seeing him, even after so long.

    Also, just to throw in the negatives, the fact that are concerntrated hours may drive pepole mad. You could argue more or not be able to think of what to do after a few visits/after doing as many activities, etc, as you can think of. Luckily, we haven't really encountered this problem. And personally, I quite love that they're concerntrated, ha ha =D

    I hope that helps. xx
    • #59
    #59

    I can't stop crying. Every time I think about 'us' I just get depressed. I love him so, so much but this long distance issue is starting to eat away at my soul. I feel like I'm stuck in a position where enduring this ****ing crap distance and ending the relationship are equally as painful as each other.

    I also wanted to say that I partially agree with Jazmine... my boyfriend and I have pretty different interests and groups of friends, and it would be annoying to be withheld from those more often were he around all the time.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jazmine)
    Well, it totally depends on what kind of person you are.

    I love it because it works well for me. We don't have to see each other all the time (although we talk to each other everyday, usually). For those people who can't bare to be away from their partners - it's really not for them. When we do see each other, it's wonderful and I'm always excited/looking forward to seeing him, even after so long.

    Also, just to throw in the negatives, the fact that are concerntrated hours may drive pepole mad. You could argue more or not be able to think of what to do after a few visits/after doing as many activities, etc, as you can think of. Luckily, we haven't really encountered this problem. And personally, I quite love that they're concerntrated, ha ha =D

    I hope that helps. xx
    This is kind of how I'm seeing how a LDR will work for me and my boy.
    We already go to different schools, so I don't see him everyday, sometimes we might only see each other for a few hours, or twice a week. I don't feel dependant on him like I must see him everyday, and we have our own friends, social cirlces and have our own interests. We talk to each other everyday, at least twice, just sending nice texts, emails, letters, phone calls etc, and this works for us.
    We are hoping to see each other every other weekend, and come to stay at each other's uni's during that time. So, for us, it's not that much different to how long we see each other now, just that we'de see each other less frequent, but for longer/more concentrated hours each time. It's a change, but something we've both said we can adapt too.
    I think Id rather see him for more concentrated hours, like a long weekend every other weekend, so we have something to look forwad to, whilst still having our own lives at uni, similar to what we are doing now.
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 9, 2013
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.