The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

all_that_glitters

Ahhh thanks, i'll go take a peek in a sec :smile:

Yeah i'm in one atm, but i don't know if uni will help or end us. We started off that way, so it's not like i have anything to compare the current situation to, which helps a bit cause at least i don't know what i'm missing, so to speak.

How far apart were you and your boyfriend?

We're Glasgow-Liverpool during term-time, and Glasgow-some town in Northern Ireland when he's not at uni. So that's about 200 miles or 150 miles. We've only been together two months, so we were both at uni when we met. It's hard to say how it'll affect you but I don't find it any harder having a boyfriend than when I was single. Is there anything in particular you're worried about?

How far apart are you at the moment? And what unis are you hoping to go to?

Reply 2781

all_that_glitters

New...Romantic

We're Glasgow-Liverpool during term-time, and Glasgow-some town in Northern Ireland when he's not at uni. So that's about 200 miles or 150 miles. We've only been together two months, so we were both at uni when we met. It's hard to say how it'll affect you but I don't find it any harder having a boyfriend than when I was single. Is there anything in particular you're worried about?

How far apart are you at the moment? And what unis are you hoping to go to?

Jeez that sounds far! Glad it's working out well though :biggrin:

I think me and my boyfriend are about the same distance, so it's not impossible (as you'd know lol) but still quite far.

Unis, i don't know yet haha. It'll probably be up north though. Not entirely sure what he wants, because it'd be too easy for our decisions to be influenced by each other.

I think i'm just worried about it working out. If we were still far apart at uni i wouldn't want to effect our experiences there. But i don't want us to split up.

On the plus side, there are months yet :yes:

Reply 2782

all_that_glitters

Jeez that sounds far! Glad it's working out well though :biggrin:

I think me and my boyfriend are about the same distance, so it's not impossible (as you'd know lol) but still quite far.

Unis, i don't know yet haha. It'll probably be up north though. Not entirely sure what he wants, because it'd be too easy for our decisions to be influenced by each other.

I think i'm just worried about it working out. If we were still far apart at uni i wouldn't want to effect our experiences there. But i don't want us to split up.

On the plus side, there are months yet :yes:

Mmm it takes over 5 hours, it's 3 trains away. But we usually meet after two trains so really it only takes about 4 hours to get to him. It's not really been that bad yet, I'm used to not seeing him. I don't know if it's just sort of easy because we're new and he speaks to me every day? Probably.

So where are you both living at the moment? Have you applied to unis?

What kind of experiences are you talking about? It'll be fine as long as you both want it to be, hopefully anyway. Do you know how he feels about it all?

Reply 2783

Anonymous #86

hi guys i need some advice from people with this kind of experience. Basically me and my gf have been goin out for 5 months and shes definatly going to go to a different uni then me. I will most probably be 1 hour and a half or max 2 hours away from her. I really really love her and want to stay with her and i don't know what to do. What do i do? What do i tell her? She seems to be fine with it so far as shes excited about making new friends but im really really sad and im trying to hide it. The topic of "us" is going to come up soon so what do i tell her?

thanks for all replies

Reply 2784

lucyhol1012

13

Anonymous

hi guys i need some advice from people with this kind of experience. Basically me and my gf have been goin out for 5 months and shes definatly going to go to a different uni then me. I will most probably be 1 hour and a half or max 2 hours away from her. I really really love her and want to stay with her and i don't know what to do. What do i do? What do i tell her? She seems to be fine with it so far as shes excited about making new friends but im really really sad and im trying to hide it. The topic of "us" is going to come up soon so what do i tell her?

thanks for all replies

Just explain to her that you want to stay with her when she goes away and see what she wants. If she does want to stay together then that's great because you can then decide how you'll work it.
I can understand that its hard for you because this time last year my boyfriend was all excited about going to uni whilst I was just worried and sad about him going away. We have a 4 hour train ride between us and we're stronger than ever. We went from being 5 minutes away from each other to him being nearly 300 miles away. Its not easy but it can be done, especially if you love each other.

When the topic comes up you should just tell her how much you love her and that you want to stay together as you think you can make it work. Trying to hide how you feel is the worst thing you can do right now as honesty is what you need. If you go into an LDR then it becomes even more important, even the smallest of secrets can cause a big problem.

Reply 2785

all_that_glitters

New...Romantic

Mmm it takes over 5 hours, it's 3 trains away. But we usually meet after two trains so really it only takes about 4 hours to get to him. It's not really been that bad yet, I'm used to not seeing him. I don't know if it's just sort of easy because we're new and he speaks to me every day? Probably.

So where are you both living at the moment? Have you applied to unis?

What kind of experiences are you talking about? It'll be fine as long as you both want it to be, hopefully anyway. Do you know how he feels about it all?

Atm i'm in Birmingham and he's in London, which is great transport-wise :smile:

But then for uni, i'm off to Durham (grades and liking it on the open day permitting) and he's going to either York or Nottingham. Which would be a lot trickier.

He really wants to give it a go. As do i, but i don't see how it'd work. Nor do i want it to infringe on our experiences at uni.

Reply 2786

lucyhol1012

13

all_that_glitters

Atm i'm in Birmingham and he's in London, which is great transport-wise :smile:

But then for uni, i'm off to Durham (grades and liking it on the open day permitting) and he's going to either York or Nottingham. Which would be a lot trickier.

He really wants to give it a go. As do i, but i don't see how it'd work. Nor do i want it to infringe on our experiences at uni.

Sorry to interrupt...

If you go from York to Durham on the train one way, its only £7.50 and that's without a railcard. It's only 50 minutes. I think that's really do-able.
I'm currently in a Liverpool-St.Andrews LDR and we make it work really well, seeing each other every 2 or 3 weeks.
If it cost only £7.50 and took only an hour I'd be visiting every weekend.

Reply 2787

all_that_glitters

Atm i'm in Birmingham and he's in London, which is great transport-wise :smile:

But then for uni, i'm off to Durham (grades and liking it on the open day permitting) and he's going to either York or Nottingham. Which would be a lot trickier.

He really wants to give it a go. As do i, but i don't see how it'd work. Nor do i want it to infringe on our experiences at uni.

It doesn't sound too bad though, especially not Durham-York. I agree with lucyhol, it's very do-able. My train fare's £63 return without railcard and it's 200 miles, but we'll rarely let it go longer than 4 weeks without seeing each other. Hopefully it'll usually be less than even that.

Why don't you see how it'd work? Anything in particular bothering you? And you keep talking about your uni experiences. What exactly do you mean by that?

Reply 2788

all_that_glitters

lucyhol1012

Sorry to interrupt...

If you go from York to Durham on the train one way, its only £7.50 and that's without a railcard. It's only 50 minutes. I think that's really do-able.
I'm currently in a Liverpool-St.Andrews LDR and we make it work really well, seeing each other every 2 or 3 weeks.
If it cost only £7.50 and took only an hour I'd be visiting every weekend.

Yeah i totally agree the Durham-York one's doable. Thank you for the info on the train fares :smile:

New...Romantic

It doesn't sound too bad though, especially not Durham-York. I agree with lucyhol, it's very do-able. My train fare's £63 return without railcard and it's 200 miles, but we'll rarely let it go longer than 4 weeks without seeing each other. Hopefully it'll usually be less than even that.

Why don't you see how it'd work? Anything in particular bothering you? And you keep talking about your uni experiences. What exactly do you mean by that?

Durham-York's fine. I could do that.

I don't know what's bothering me :s-smilie:

I know that sounds stupid, i can feel there's something up, but i can't put my finger on it. Really unhelpful of me, sorry.

Reply 2789

all_that_glitters

Atm i'm in Birmingham and he's in London, which is great transport-wise :smile:

But then for uni, i'm off to Durham (grades and liking it on the open day permitting) and he's going to either York or Nottingham. Which would be a lot trickier.

He really wants to give it a go. As do i, but i don't see how it'd work. Nor do i want it to infringe on our experiences at uni.

my bf is in London and I'm thinking of going on erasmus to Birmingham next year ( I currently live in Greece ). Can you PLEASE tell me how much the transportation costs ?

Reply 2790

Ygraine

Xristina

my bf is in London and I'm thinking of going on erasmus to Birmingham next year ( I currently live in Greece ). Can you PLEASE tell me how much the transportation costs ?

I seem to remember that your boyfriend is in Egham which, despite being uni of London, is a far cry from London itself. If I'm wrong forgive me, but it will make a difference with trains.

It looks as though it takes between three and three and a half hours and will cost you about £30 with a student rail card

Reply 2791

Ygraine

I seem to remember that your boyfriend is in Egham which, despite being uni of London, is a far cry from London itself. If I'm wrong forgive me, but it will make a difference with trains.

It looks as though it takes between three and three and a half hours and will cost you about £30 with a student rail card

yeah that is true, I just thought that the difference won't be that great right ? When it comes to cost I mean. Do you know though if I will be entitled to a student rail card as an erasmus student there ?

Reply 2792

Ygraine

As Egham is about 45 minutes by train from central London and you won't be coming into the same station that you'll need to leave from to get to Egham, thus having to travel across London, it actually makes quite a difference. People are geographically confused by Holloway because it's university of London but it's in Surrey, not London. I had three years there while my boyfriend lived in various places in London and it used to take me at least an hour to get to him.

As for the railcard, anyone under 25 can buy one, it's not something you're entitled to. It costs £20 but you make that money back in one trip, so it's definitely a worthwhile investment

Reply 2793

Ygraine

As Egham is about 45 minutes by train from central London and you won't be coming into the same station that you'll need to leave from to get to Egham, thus having to travel across London, it actually makes quite a difference. People are geographically confused by Holloway because it's university of London but it's in Surrey, not London. I had three years there while my boyfriend lived in various places in London and it used to take me at least an hour to get to him.

As for the railcard, anyone under 25 can buy one, it's not something you're entitled to. It costs £20 but you make that money back in one trip, so it's definitely a worthwhile investment

Can't I just take a train from Birmingham directly to Egham ? Or is this gonna be more expensive ? Ah.... :frown:

Reply 2794

Interrobang

20

No there won't be a train direct, my guess is that the train will get into (I think) Euston from Birmingham, and then you would have to get an underground train to (I think) Waterloo/Victoria

Reply 2795

Ygraine

Xristina

Can't I just take a train from Birmingham directly to Egham ? Or is this gonna be more expensive ? Ah.... :frown:

There is no such train line I'm afraid

Reply 2796

ah god....this will end up taking almost as much time as I need from Athens to Egham....lol....damn :frown:

plus it will cost alot of money. Why can't the trains in England be as cheap as they are here ? Pfff :mad:

Reply 2797

22KT22

15

railcard is now 24pounds... but as ygraine said its definately worth it!

Reply 2798

Bubble_m

Hey guys im now officially in an LDR.
woo. please tell me some high points of LDRs quickly :frown:

i left my new found boyf on sunday and am missing him to bits and pieces. we'll be seeing each other erratically till he comes home from uni end of march (im gap year) sigh but i just want him to be here so i can hold his hand and kiss him and arghhhhhhhhhhh :frown:

cheer me up please

Reply 2799