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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre watch

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    Hey guys, I'm new to this LDR thing but am just wondering what you all do when you're really missing your other half and can't call them or whatever. At work I was nearly crying but couldn't do much about it. Tips?
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    You can keep a feelings diary where you write down whatever it is. Or make them a card or write them a letter, or make them a collage or write them a really long email (even if you've got nothing better to say other than what you've had for tea :p: ). Try and turn your emotion into something positive
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    I'm learning to knit Keeps my hands busy and I have to focus really hard on it constantly, and it passes huge hours at a time. Obviously not much use when you're at work, but if you're at home i think it's useful to have something to occupy yourself with. Nothing worse than sitting around moping
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    Thanks girlies. It has been better now I have a job and I'm not just in the house all the time, but I'm finding it hard because we practically lived together in exam term at uni. I think part of it is being in the house on my own all day whilst my family are at work, then being at work in the evening so don't really see friends or family either, and job hunting, which is depressing at the best of times. I miss him.
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    You're welcome There's no denying it's harder at some times than at others.
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    me and my bf are only gonna be an hour away from each other come september

    but after spending every day together practically for a year im still terrified
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    It'll be weird, but I'm sure you'll manage just fine. You'll have telephones and the internet and independence is an important part of any relationship.

    Plus, an hour isn't hard to travel. If you get student railcards or wahtever you should be able to see each other quite often
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    i know

    i guess im just nervous about the change
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    Im goin off on exchange to n.america as part of my degree next month, until april. When i chose to do the year abroad it was the best decision id ever made, yet i met my bf in the first year of uni and now the thought of being apart for those 8months is breaking my heart.
    We're so in love, its been 6months now and we were inseperable at uni, since the summer hols began we've even managed to visit each other at opposite ends of the country. The feelings are stronger than ever, we've never had a single argument and when we're together all we do is laugh and smile.
    But when we're apart we both get v.miserable and lonely and hate not having each other around. His way of coping is going out with mates drinking and i worry that he will feel so lonely that whilst drunk another girl may show him the attention that i cant give him.
    We've decided that we're going to stay together while im away, obviously its going to be tough but we both want to spend our lives together and so he says that although he wont be happy that im not there, he wants us to be together so its just something he'll have to deal with. I see it as an obstacle to be overcome, knowing that come april we will be together with nothing stopping us, but he sees everyday we're apart as like a jail sentence. He's a sensitive guy who needs to feel loved and appreciated which is why it'll be harder for him than me.

    Any words of advice i can say to him to help him look at the situation more positively? Any tips to make things work while we're apart?
    He means the world to me and id never forgive myself if we ended up losing each other cos of a decision i made before we met to have a year abroad
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    Really you need one of the other ldr kids who have experienced long term separations; I've only done 4 and half weeks so far..

    The thing I've heard them say over and over again though is if you both want it to work, you make it work. Nobody is ever going to tell you it's easy (well, if they do they're lying through their teeth) but if you work at it (both of you!) there's no reason why you can't do it and come out the other side. It might seem like jail sentence, but try and get him to see the point at the end as his reward - think how much stronger your relationship will be. Also, see it as part of your relationship, not just something to get to the end of.. for that length of time you can't just..count down the days. It has to be an integrated part of your lives (if that makes any sense, i'm not quite sure how to put across what i want to say).
    It's not like you won't be able to talk - get skype, make sure you both have microphones and videocameras with your computers (seeing each others faces, and hearing their voice makes so much difference). Being in different time zones is infuriating (my boys in America and about 6hours different, so ontop of work it's case of me staying up til 1/2am evey morning to speak to him..) but it can be dealt with.
    Is there going to be a chance over the 8months to have him fly out to you, or for you to come home? Both of you save up so you can visit when possible - give you both something to look forward to.

    I hope it works out well - come on over to the ldr soc chat thread it's helped me so much over the last few weeks..somewhere to maon, poeple can help and everyone knows what you're going through- the ups and the downs.
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    Oooover here. I've been apart from my guy for 2.5 (or perhaps it was even 3) months before, and many people have done worse.

    Perhaps you can both keep collages/scrapbooks/diaries of what you're thinking about and all the stuff you're doing and send them to each other periodically. I also find that communication really is the key thing - as sad as it is to be on MSN practically every night :p: Chat as much as you can without sacrificing a normal social life and you won't go far wrong
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    Woohoo, we lasted the year! My LDR ends on Friday when I return oop norf *excited*
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    hey i'm planing on going to Manchester next year and have just recently struck up a bit of a relationship with this guy...perfect timing i know right...**** life!!!!
    i'll be away at uni he'll be back home so i'd best let us get on and do what we want with our lives i suppose.
    anyway i'm thinking treat this as a fling and don't get to emotionally involved because i'm so not going to see him!
    flip i don't know...totally king of sad/happy/excited and worried!
    because i do like him and would be wiling 2 make this work you know?!?!
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    (Original post by scarlet ibis)
    Can you re-word that in English please?
    Hey, I'm planning on going to Manchester next year and have just recently struck up a bit of a relationship with a guy - perfect timing, I know right. F' life!

    I'll be away at uni and he'll be back home so I'd best let us get on & do what we want with our lives I suppose. Anyway, I'm thinking treat this as a fling and don't get too emotionally involved cos I'm so not gonna see him.

    Flip I dunno. Totally kinda sad/happy/excited & worried.
    Cos I do like [him?] and would be willing to make this work, you know?!

    ------

    Its really not hard to write in real words...Anyway, give it a go - youve nothing to lose. If it doesnt work out then at least you tried and wont be left wondering 'what if'.

    Oh and I wouldnt normally retype that...Im just that bored waiting for a text off my now ldr-boyfriend. hmpf.
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    ha ha!!!!
    tanks!!!
    thats hilarious...needed that bit of confidence girls!!
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    (Original post by scarlet ibis)
    Can you re-word that in English please?
    **sorry!:shy2:
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    You should definitely give it a go - it's better to try and fail than not try and be forever wondering 'what if?'
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    (Original post by *anne*)
    **sorry!:shy2:
    Its OK, it's just difficult to understand what you were saying, txtspeak in an Irish accent!

    And I'd re-iterate what has been said: you should at least try it!
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    There's no rules as to whether you can have a LDR or not! If you're both happy with the way things are then I'd say it's fine. I'd die with that little communication but my boy and me can live in each other's pockets (and did do for 4 months) and not be fed up of each other so we text every day. But we only talk on the phone one or two times a week. Don't compare your relationship to other people's, it's bound to end in tears and confusion. It's good that you can have your own lives without constantly waiting for the phone to ring
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    Hi aubergine, don't judge yourself and your relationship on other people's terms (whether they're in LDRs or not). It depends what works for you, and if what you're doing now is fine by you and your boyfriend, then carry on
 
 
 
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