The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Watch

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kexy
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#3181
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#3181
Me and my girl haven't really had any serious arguments yet.
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Sakura-Chan
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#3182
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#3182
(Original post by kexy)
Me and my girl haven't really had any serious arguments yet.
Yeah, yet :p:
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kexy
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#3183
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#3183
(Original post by Sakura-Chan)
Yeah, yet :p:
We should try keep it that way. :yep:
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Jazmine
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#3184
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#3184
(Original post by Languagesfreak)
Ah, my arguments seem to last for like a week!
Well, as long as it isn't too serious or re-occuring (if I ever had these arguments, I'd want to solve it straight away - so if you're in this situation, perhaps you should have a good talk with your partner).

Arguments are healthy in my opinion, and of course.. ones that get out of hand and such are never good. In any case, there are always solutions, luckily my partner and I are very much a "solving team" ~ able to keep out of each other's hair when required most of the time also, which is why our arguments don't last long. We've never got heated about anything, but you know.. if a heated argument is necessary, then go for it (debates/arguments, if they lead to better knowledge, are always a good thing in my book). You just want to make sure that they are not common or much of a problem, I guess.

I don't think I make any sense.. I dunno why I'm entering this.
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Anonymous #110
#3185
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#3185
My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years, and he's just decided that he's going to America for university, and I'm staying in England. I've always said that if he chooses to go, breaking up was the best option, although now it comes down to it I really don't want to split up when we both love each other. He says that he wants to try and keep it going as long as possible, but are we just being naive? I'm quite insecure generally, and i'm worried i'll turn jealous and bitter and staying together will be all the more painful in the end, or it will just end by cheating. He would be coming home after 5 months for about a month and a half after the first term, and again in the summer for 3 months.
Is this a bad idea? Is it best to move on and start afresh at uni?
Would be helpful to hear any advice from anyone who has experience from long distance relationships.
Jazmine
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#3186
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#3186
It's not a bad idea at all!

I think it's harder for people in long-distance relationships who are in that situation due to being split up (as opposed to someone like me who started it long-distance). From what I hear, quite a lot of relationships die out once they go to Uni, but it's the truly committed ones who stick it out. So, perhaps having good will-power and constant rememberance that it won't be like this forever is needed.

But you've been together for four years, I definitely wouldn't end it, give it a try - I know I don't know you, but you'll probably be fine. (Seeing each other for those periods of time is actually quite good, plus it's not as if you'll be completely cut off as the wonders of the Internet provide MSN, Skype, e-mail..).

Regarding thoughts that you might turn into the Girlfriend From Hell, if it's not really in your nature I really wouldn't worry about it. Just have faith in him, it may be hard at first but once you get used to the circumstances, it'll get easier. He won't stray if he's given no indication of being someone who would. And I pressume you wouldn't want to do that either. In any case, if things don't work out, at least you tried - and I think that's far better than not trying. =D
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hannahdaisy
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#3187
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#3187
I get to see my bf the next 3 weekends in a row I'm finishing uni next week for the summer too and I don't plan on working right now, which means I could go and see him whenever I want/can afford/he's not working lates.
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SianStrikedown
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#3188
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#3188
My time in Florida is nearly up
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Angelil
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#3189
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#3189
LaLaLa - you can definitely manage 4 years. My guy and I managed 3.5yrs of an international LDR, which only ended so that we could move in together!

Anon 1: 3-5 months apart at a time will hurt, but you can do it. There's another girl in the soc who for one reason and another is ploughing through a 9-month gap between two visits. It's difficult, but she's managing.

SianStrikeDown - hope you're having a good time
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naughtyhamster
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#3190
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#3190
ARGHHHHHHH

My boyfriend left me to go back to university 200 miles away after spending 6 weeks together - we now have 6 weeks apart until we both have summer together! We've booked to go to Croatia last week so thats something to look forward to
The good thing is that this is the last time we will ever say goodbye at the airport because in Sept I'll be going to a uni 45 mins away from him, which is great, but its so so hard and we've never been apart for so long before!
sorry rant over, i just feel a bit crap! x
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Languagesfreak
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#3191
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#3191
(Original post by Angelil)
LaLaLa - you can definitely manage 4 years. My guy and I managed 3.5yrs of an international LDR, which only ended so that we could move in together!

Anon 1: 3-5 months apart at a time will hurt, but you can do it. There's another girl in the soc who for one reason and another is ploughing through a 9-month gap between two visits. It's difficult, but she's managing.

SianStrikeDown - hope you're having a good time
Crickey, and I thought 6 weeks was bad.
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lucyhol1012
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#3192
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#3192
(Original post by naughtyhamster)
ARGHHHHHHH

My boyfriend left me to go back to university 200 miles away after spending 6 weeks together - we now have 6 weeks apart until we both have summer together! We've booked to go to Croatia last week so thats something to look forward to
The good thing is that this is the last time we will ever say goodbye at the airport because in Sept I'll be going to a uni 45 mins away from him, which is great, but its so so hard and we've never been apart for so long before!
sorry rant over, i just feel a bit crap! x
I'm in a similar situation to you. I left my boyfriend over 2 weeks ago now and still have over 3 weeks left
But then that is it and we'll go to universities very close together again. He's currently 270 miles away and its not getting any easier
I still end up in tears every night before I go to sleep. Ow.
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**CutiePie**
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#3193
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#3193
can't wait. My boys coming home this weekend, and on Tuesday it'll also be the last time we say good-bye. He's coming home for summer in about 4 weeks and then we'll be a 1.5 hour train journey away when I go to uni in September. And he gets free travel to the place where I'm going to uni so we'll be able to see each other atleast once a week.
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kexy
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#3194
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#3194
I get to see my gorgeous girl on Friday, and I can't wait. It seems like ages and ages since I last saw her and i've missed her so bad.

I'm hoping she's going to stay for a few nights and that maybe on Friday we can go out and get slightly tipsy and catch up. eeeeeeeeeee I proper love her loads. :love:
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**CutiePie**
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#3195
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#3195
Aww!
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Anonymous #111
#3196
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#3196
Oh man, and I thought my situation was bad, almost all of you have it way worse than me!

My boyfriend's moved back about 4 hours away from me after living somewhat near to each other, it's been about a week and I already get tearful over the littlest things!? I guess it's because almost all my relationships go through this, distance has been the number one relationship killer for me. I've had littleproblems before and I think this one might rip it apart. Why must it always go through this cycle?
22KT22
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#3197
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#3197
(Original post by Angelil)
LaLaLa - you can definitely manage 4 years. My guy and I managed 3.5yrs of an international LDR, which only ended so that we could move in together!

Anon 1: 3-5 months apart at a time will hurt, but you can do it. There's another girl in the soc who for one reason and another is ploughing through a 9-month gap between two visits. It's difficult, but she's managing.

SianStrikeDown - hope you're having a good time
Ah luckily its now been cut down from 9 months to 5 although thats still been hard. after this ive got another 4 years ahead although we will be able to see each other more often. the 5 months has been the longest time (im seeing him for a week and then probably not again till september... last time i saw him was jan) and im not going to lie and say its been easy because it hasnt but its worth it. if you love them and are willing to put the effort in to make it work then it can... angelil and others in the LDR soc are living proof of that! communication is key... skype has been a lifesend as have webcams although its not as good as having them next to you it does make you feel closer to them. everyone has a different routine.. i often dont get to speak to my boy for a few days at a time and thats difficult but it is doable. the LDR soc has helped me so much, theres no way i would have got through it without them so feel free to drop into our chat thread. its reassuring to have the support.
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22KT22
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#3198
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#3198
(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh man, and I thought my situation was bad, almost all of you have it way worse than me!

My boyfriend's moved back about 4 hours away from me after living somewhat near to each other, it's been about a week and I already get tearful over the littlest things!? I guess it's because almost all my relationships go through this, distance has been the number one relationship killer for me. I've had littleproblems before and I think this one might rip it apart. Why must it always go through this cycle?
Try to keep busy... i find the first week after saying goodbye is hardest but i tend to throw myself into work or go out with friends etc and distract myself. try not to focus on past relationships... this is a new one, its a different person doesnt mean it will end up the same. what is it exactly about the distance you struggle with? not talking, not seeing them etc?
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Angelil
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#3199
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#3199
Feel free to come over to the chat thread as well folks - we don't bite! Link's in my sig
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glitsy
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#3200
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#3200
Thought I wouldl just have a general little chat to myself!
I had a LDR after I moved back from Australila, it lasted 9 months and he came to visit once it was really hard though i think being 15 at the time made it lots harder. My bf now lives 100 miles away ( everyone always makes jokes that I like the distance thing) I haven't seen him for 2 weeks now, wont see him for another 2. He works alot.
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