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    • #140
    #140

    (Original post by Angelil)
    Just treat it as if it were a 'normal' relationship starting - see where things go with you two and then discuss the logistics of it.

    Thanks
    He's being really iffy about 'committing' though :confused:
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    That's just boys generally though isn't it? :tongue: If you're meant to be together, it'll happen :yes:
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    (Original post by Angelil)
    That's just boys generally though isn't it? :tongue: If you're meant to be together, it'll happen :yes:
    :eek: I resent that! We're not all iffy about commitment :p: But yes, if it's meant to be it'll happen - I suppose just don't try and push him into anything :nah: We can't handle pressure
    • #142
    #142

    My boyfriend of 15 months just left our university town as he has now graduated, and I am stuck here for another year at least, so we're embarking upon a long distance relationship. Could anyone offer advice on how to deal with being apart and any tips on how to keep the relationship going and successful? Thanks a lot :-)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend of 15 months just left our university town as he has now graduated, and I am stuck here for another year at least, so we're embarking upon a long distance relationship. Could anyone offer advice on how to deal with being apart and any tips on how to keep the relationship going and successful? Thanks a lot :-)
    I know it can seem daunting, but there's various things you can do to get through I find that keeping yourself occupied through projects and hobbies helps dealing with being apart; there's nothing worse than sitting alone missing them lol. Take up a new hobby, go out with friends, or just aim to read the Lord of the Rings and all of the background books and appendicies :p:

    As for keeping the relationship going, without wishing to state the obvious :o:, keeping in contact is important. Phone, msn, letters, whatever works for you really! And of course planning trips to see each other, maybe at weekends or bank holidays. I find it helps a lot if a long time apart is broken down into smaller chunks, say if you see each other each fortnight, then three months doesn't seem as long

    Just a few quick thoughts lol. Good luck!! I really hope it works out for you :yep: Speaking from personal experience, it really is worth it, trust me
    • #140
    #140

    Thanks
    • #143
    #143

    Just subbed! I've recently got into a relationship with someone from university although we had been seeing each other for 6 months. Basically we were flatmates in first year of uni and started seeing each other but then tried for it not to happen because of living together and the complications it would bring but in the end we stopped fighting it and let it happen and I couldnt be more happy.

    Sadly we're at opposite ends of the country now its summer. Its so hard going from being with someone you lived with, who you saw everyday to someone who you dont see for weeks at a time. What makes it worse it that hes not really a big one for talking long chats on the phone, he only really wants to talk if there is actually something to say whereas I like to chatter on Guess I'll just have to make do with brief conversations now and again. I get to see him in 9 days for the first time in a month!! Can't wait!!
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    something my bf and I are doing now is reading the same book so we can discuss it together by email, msn or so on its great as we're learning about each others like and dislikes
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    I'm in bits today. Me and my bf seemed so settled then today it's just like "boom" out of nowhere everything's messing up.

    He was offered a scholarship in America last year so long as he played football for the university team. He decided he didn't want to go and stayed in England and we became a couple etc. I was so worried that he'd leave and so relieved when he didn't.

    Then this morning he txts me saying that when I was on holiday he had another meeting with them and he's going next August, that he can't afford to keep paying for train tickets to see me coz he needs to save his money for moving etc.

    I'm heartbroken had tickets booked to go to his tomorrow and I think I'm still going anyway.
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    I have a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. I live 2500 miles away from her. I'll give you one tip. Communication is the key. We've both got Skype, and i'm home every 3-4 months to see her and make use of all the time we have together
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    (Original post by hannahdaisy)
    I'm in bits today. Me and my bf seemed so settled then today it's just like "boom" out of nowhere everything's messing up.

    He was offered a scholarship in America last year so long as he played football for the university team. He decided he didn't want to go and stayed in England and we became a couple etc. I was so worried that he'd leave and so relieved when he didn't.

    Then this morning he txts me saying that when I was on holiday he had another meeting with them and he's going next August, that he can't afford to keep paying for train tickets to see me coz he needs to save his money for moving etc.

    I'm heartbroken had tickets booked to go to his tomorrow and I think I'm still going anyway.
    Oh no... :hugs:

    Do you know what's going to happen with you two? It's probably a good idea to go to his tomorrow, he needs to know how you're feeling and you probably have a million things to ask him.
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    (Original post by Dagowly)
    I have a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. I live 2500 miles away from her. I'll give you one tip. Communication is the key. We've both got Skype, and i'm home every 3-4 months to see her and make use of all the time we have together
    Thanks, we're fairly far away from eachother already (London/Bristol to near Middlesbrough, nowhere near as far as your relationship!) but it's manageable and we've had a good relationship. Just doesn't sound like it's gonna work out, especially if he's saying he can't even afford to come and see me for a whole year before he even moves. I'd be willing to try and work out whatever I could but who knows.
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    Oh no... :hugs:

    Do you know what's going to happen with you two? It's probably a good idea to go to his tomorrow, he needs to know how you're feeling and you probably have a million things to ask him.
    No, not really, but if he's saying he can't afford to come and see me for a whole year before he even moves there then it looks like we'd just be breaking up. Yeah he said he definitely still wants me to come so I will. He's still being really nice so it's difficult. We'd just be finishing it coz we feel like we have to rather than wanting to or feeling like our relationship's run it's course or anything. This is so horrible.
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    (Original post by hannahdaisy)
    No, not really, but if he's saying he can't afford to come and see me for a whole year before he even moves there then it looks like we'd just be breaking up. Yeah he said he definitely still wants me to come so I will. He's still being really nice so it's difficult. We'd just be finishing it coz we feel like we have to rather than wanting to or feeling like our relationship's run it's course or anything. This is so horrible.
    Ugh I don't even know what to say. How long will he be in America for? Is there any chance of you trying to make it work?

    But if he says he won't pay for tickets... I don't know. Maybe you are better ending it on good terms. I suppose that's something you'll have to work out together.

    I hope it works out for you, this is an awful thing to happen.
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    Ugh I don't even know what to say. How long will he be in America for? Is there any chance of you trying to make it work?

    But if he says he won't pay for tickets... I don't know. Maybe you are better ending it on good terms. I suppose that's something you'll have to work out together.

    I hope it works out for you, this is an awful thing to happen.
    Think it's 3yrs. Basically he does a degree at the uni and plays on their football team to make the team look good and they pay his tuition fees. I dunno, I'd be willing to try things coz then even if it didn't work at least we'd be trying. But I dunno what he thinks about it.

    Well it's because I don't think they give you any money, or not enough to survive on completely anyway. They expect you to get up early and train, go to classes during the day, do training afterwards then work in the evening for cash I think.

    Yeah it's horrible. He turned it down last year and didn't seem keen so I dunno what's happened now.
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    Long distance relationships just dont work. I lived at my sisters since september and had been with my gf (who lived in birmingham near my parents' house) since june last year. we saw each other occasionally, she would come see me, i would go see her but she used to ring me every hour and it obviously because she wanted to check up on me and couldn't trust me. Eventually we decided it wern't gonna happen.
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    (Original post by biggBANANA)
    Long distance relationships just dont work.
    Erm, you're posting THAT, in a thread where several people are having successful LDRs?
    Just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean it wouldn't work for anyone
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    (Original post by jennikay)
    Erm, you're posting THAT, in a thread where several people are having successful LDRs?
    Just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean it wouldn't work for anyone
    Because a long distance relationship is pointless, how can you have a relationship with someone you rarely see? I apolagise for my incredibly defeatist attitude but it's true that if you can't see the person your supposed to be with and you have to stop yourself from meeting other girls because of that person then you are an idiot.
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    (Original post by biggBANANA)
    Because a long distance relationship is pointless, how can you have a relationship with someone you rarely see? I apolagise for my incredibly defeatist attitude but it's true that if you can't see the person your supposed to be with and you have to stop yourself from meeting other girls because of that person then you are an idiot.
    They're not pointless. It's just something that didn't work out for you. That's a very sweeping statement that can't possibly describe every LDR.

    I don't have to stop myself from meeting other boys because I'm not looking for anyone else. Sure, I can see them as friends but it's never anything more. I love my boyfriend and right now we are very happy together. Of course we can't definitely say that we're going to be together forever; we don't know what's around the corner. But we believe in us and we are very happy.

    We see each other enough, admittedly not as often as we would prefer, but when we're not together we get on with our daily lives and incorporate each other into those lives as much as we possibly can without smothering each other.

    In any relationship it's important to have time to yourself as well as time as a couple. This doesn't neccessarily mean that you have to be physically together to have that couple time; there are phones, letters, skype etc. Once you find the balance that's right for a couple and both parties are committed and believe that they are meant to be, then there is every chance that the relationship will work, and it's not pointless.
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    I second what tea_cakes said.

    I love every moment of my LDR and if you feel a lot for someone in this world - and see a lot of potential in the relationship, but decide not to be with them because you live far away from each other (without giving it a try)... then I think you are the idiot (or rather, not truly committed). I don't plan to be in a long-distance relationship forever, can't wait to until we live together [fingers crossed]. But at the same time, I am enjoying my relationship so much =D It's so ideal. Couldn't imagine being with anyone else!

    I can't say I'm very long-distance though, we are a 4hr 30mins journey away, London > Bristol. See each other every 3 weeks (2 weeks recently! Yay. Saw him on 26th - 29th June, seeing him 15th or 16th July - 22nd or 23rd July! =D =D).
 
 
 
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