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    • #151
    #151

    (Original post by 22KT22)
    Any ideas why you turn nasty? is it the frustration of not seeing each other/or the amount you communicate? How do you keep in touch and how often?
    i only turn nasty because she does and it annoys me. we talk daily (even when we arent getting on) either by text or phone, usually text thoug. i think its the frustration of not seeing each other, because we're so close at uni, but on top of that i think we just end up getting annoyed with each other over petty things when we're apart
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i only turn nasty because she does and it annoys me. we talk daily (even when we arent getting on) either by text or phone, usually text thoug. i think its the frustration of not seeing each other, because we're so close at uni, but on top of that i think we just end up getting annoyed with each other over petty things when we're apart
    Perhaps try getting skype or O2 since then you can talk on the phone for free... least with speaking on the phone you can hear tone of voice and so wont misread texts and get annoyed at something that wasn't meant to be offensive. Texts are so easy to misinterpret. Also if you get skype, you can get webcams and can 'see' each other which might make the separation a little easier... obviously its not the same as them being there with you but it does make you able to see their facial expressions/body language rather than just having words.

    How often do you see each other?
    • #151
    #151

    (Original post by 22KT22)
    Perhaps try getting skype or O2 since then you can talk on the phone for free... least with speaking on the phone you can hear tone of voice and so wont misread texts and get annoyed at something that wasn't meant to be offensive. Texts are so easy to misinterpret. Also if you get skype, you can get webcams and can 'see' each other which might make the separation a little easier... obviously its not the same as them being there with you but it does make you able to see their facial expressions/body language rather than just having words.

    How often do you see each other?
    those are really good ideas thanks kinda awkward to suggest if we arent getting along but i'll deffo suggest it when were getting on a bit better. the first hol we saw each other every 2 weeks which was perfect, then over easter we only saw each other once in about 6 weeks, which was ****. and we've only seen each other once this holiday. seeing each other used to be no problem, but as money is much tighter this summer as we have rent to pay we can't just jump on a train and meet. i think i can afford to make the journey to hers but again, its a bit hard to suggest when we aren't getting on lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    those are really good ideas thanks kinda awkward to suggest if we arent getting along but i'll deffo suggest it when were getting on a bit better. the first hol we saw each other every 2 weeks which was perfect, then over easter we only saw each other once in about 6 weeks, which was ****. and we've only seen each other once this holiday. seeing each other used to be no problem, but as money is much tighter this summer as we have rent to pay we can't just jump on a train and meet. i think i can afford to make the journey to hers but again, its a bit hard to suggest when we aren't getting on lol
    Perhaps suggesting it to her might make her feel better about it all... how far apart do you live? Im assuming you have railcards? if not i would definitely invest in some... other alternatives is looking at national express to see if they are cheaper (they may take longer but if you can see your gf im sure the extra travelling wont make a difference).
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    (Original post by 22KT22)
    Sorry to hear about your last gf :hugs: and welcome to the LDR soc... feel free to join us in the chat thread!
    Technically we're not in one as she's off to Cornwall for a week so we can't exactly build on it in any way. But unless she falls in love with another guy I'm set
    • #151
    #151

    (Original post by 22KT22)
    Perhaps suggesting it to her might make her feel better about it all... how far apart do you live? Im assuming you have railcards? if not i would definitely invest in some... other alternatives is looking at national express to see if they are cheaper (they may take longer but if you can see your gf im sure the extra travelling wont make a difference).
    we live about 3/4 hours on the train apart, id prefer not to say where as im sure she reads here and would probs recognise this story :P weve got railcards and the travelling doesnt bother me at all. we did plan on meeting early last week but she said she can't afford it, which is why i was thinking of just going the whole way to hers?

    edit: wish id remember to hit 'anonymous' so i dont have to delete my post everytime! :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    we live about 3/4 hours on the train apart, id prefer not to say where as im sure she reads here and would probs recognise this story :P weve got railcards and the travelling doesnt bother me at all. we did plan on meeting early last week but she said she can't afford it, which is why i was thinking of just going the whole way to hers?

    edit: wish id remember to hit 'anonymous' so i dont have to delete my post everytime! :P
    Thats ok... have you looked into national express since they are sometimes cheaper? Also try booking train tickets in advance (may be a bit late now but for the future) since this also makes them cheaper. since it's not a huge difference i suspect its just one train? if not breaking the fare into 2 tickets can make it cheaper... as can buying 2 singles rather than a return so i'd look into all of these as well.
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    (Original post by Thunder and Jazz)
    Technically we're not in one as she's off to Cornwall for a week so we can't exactly build on it in any way. But unless she falls in love with another guy I'm set
    Well *fingers crossed*
    • #151
    #151

    (Original post by 22KT22)
    Thats ok... have you looked into national express since they are sometimes cheaper? Also try booking train tickets in advance (may be a bit late now but for the future) since this also makes them cheaper. since it's not a huge difference i suspect its just one train? if not breaking the fare into 2 tickets can make it cheaper... as can buying 2 singles rather than a return so i'd look into all of these as well.
    yeah it looks to be about £20 cheaper for me which is always a plus, thanks im fine with spending the money cos i wanna see her, which is why im thinking about just going down to hers as a surprise. ahh who knows
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    A surprise visit could be good. My bf's from up near Darlington and I go to uni in Bristol which is a 5hr train journey and he kinda surprised me a few months ago. He was due to come down that evening about 9pm and he rang me in the early afternoon saying he was in Bristol. I never really believed him until he actually got to my flat. He'd been lying all day saying he was at work and stuff but turned out he was travelling. I loved it
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    My boyfriend surprised me last month by appearing on my train home one night... I didn't even know he was in the country!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah it looks to be about £20 cheaper for me which is always a plus, thanks im fine with spending the money cos i wanna see her, which is why im thinking about just going down to hers as a surprise. ahh who knows
    I agree with the other posts... you should definitely surprise her, Im sure it will make her day/week/month
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    As long as you make sure to (discreetly) find out if she has plans first!
    • #151
    #151

    haha yeah thats probably a good idea :P should get my payslip tomorrow so ill see when i can go cheers guys!
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    (Original post by Slender Loris)
    As long as you make sure to (discreetly) find out if she has plans first!
    Definitely! Me and my bf are always txting asking what the other one's doing anyway so he knew I was at the flat. Wonder what he'd have done if me and my flatmates randomly went on a trip to the beach or something, right out of town.
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    (Original post by katieclick)
    hi everyone
    i posted in here about a year ago about how i was about to go long distance with my boyfriend as we were going to different unis. well, now we're engaged so the first year went well! i'm spending loads of time with him this summer, which is brilliant, just trying to make the most of it till september.
    i just want some advice about something which affected me a lot last year: jealousy. i trust him completely so trust is not an issue at all. but he is naturally far more confident than me, and just generally seems to have more fun and go out more than i do. it got to the point where he would say he was going clubbing that night and i would just get so...i'm not sure jealous is the right word. but my night would automatically feel so empty, almost. of course if i was having a really good night as well it would be fine. the worst part would be seeing pictures on facebook afterwards. totally irrational i know, i mean he's just having fun!
    i never told him this because i don't want him to think that i don't want him to have a good time. and it's my problem, not his/ours.
    does this make sense to anyone? i know i'm coming off as really bitter and pathetic which is not a good look! but i just want to lose all that for next year, and i'll be so much happier. any advice?
    i'm quoting myself because i want to post a follow up on this situation. he rang me today, he had been to the pub with some friends so he'd had a few, and he blurted out that he's actually scared of telling me when he's going somewhere, or he thinks i'll just be angry when he invites me somewhere. he said he had no idea why he feels that way, but i think he's subconsciously picked up on the negativity i try and hide when he goes out.
    this really distressed me because i really don't want him to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me. i said maybe this relationship isn't good for you, but (thankfully) he told me to never say that again because i'm the best thing that has ever happened to him. he says it's not my fault, it's his but i feel like i've driven him to this and i feel so terrible
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    (Original post by katieclick)
    i'm quoting myself because i want to post a follow up on this situation. he rang me today, he had been to the pub with some friends so he'd had a few, and he blurted out that he's actually scared of telling me when he's going somewhere, or he thinks i'll just be angry when he invites me somewhere. he said he had no idea why he feels that way, but i think he's subconsciously picked up on the negativity i try and hide when he goes out.
    this really distressed me because i really don't want him to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me. i said maybe this relationship isn't good for you, but (thankfully) he told me to never say that again because i'm the best thing that has ever happened to him. he says it's not my fault, it's his but i feel like i've driven him to this and i feel so terrible
    Hun, it could be anything. When I first got together with my boyfriend I asked his permission to do anything, and it was because my ex didn't allow me to do anything. It may be something similar with your boyfriend, it's not necessarily your fault
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    (Original post by jennikay)
    Hun, it could be anything. When I first got together with my boyfriend I asked his permission to do anything, and it was because my ex didn't allow me to do anything. It may be something similar with your boyfriend, it's not necessarily your fault
    hi, thanks for replying
    i get what you're saying, but i think this is a fairly recent thing. we've been going out nearly 3 years and it certainly hasn't always been this me. but i guess the fact that he doesn't blame me for it is something to think about
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    I'm going to miss my boyfriend so ******* much

    So I take it the general consensus is break up before you go to uni, because there's no hope...

    But he's PERFECT and I want him ((((( I'm starting to get really upset about this.. But I don't want to bring it up too much as I don't wish to ruin our last few weeks together (for at least 3 months) by being moany and negative.. Aw man.... :'(
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    (Original post by /Error)
    I'm going to miss my boyfriend so ******* much

    So I take it the general consensus is break up before you go to uni, because there's no hope...

    But he's PERFECT and I want him ((((( I'm starting to get really upset about this.. But I don't want to bring it up too much as I don't wish to ruin our last few weeks together (for at least 3 months) by being moany and negative.. Aw man.... :'(
    l o l w u t ?

    The general consensus is that LDRs can work provided you work at it, same as any other relationship.
 
 
 
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