Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    A guy named Wowza?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L O R E A L)
    I have accidentally found myself in a relationship and have fallen really in love. It's all good and everything and we knew i would end up going away to university in the months to come



    well the months have passed and ill be going away next month. I live In worcestershire and i am going all the way to Devon


    How the hell will i cope being away from him??

    Will it work/does it work??


    how??


    I just need to talk to someone about these things, i get really really upset thinking about it, but i really want it to work out when i do go away
    Oooh, a Devon uni eh? Would that be my alma mater Exeter perchance?
    Anyway, on LDRs...any relationship takes EFFORT and COMMUNICATION and LDRs are no exception. Sit down before you go, work out how often you both expect to communicate via MSN/Skype/phone/text, and how often it will be reasonable for you both to see each other (in terms of both money and time). It certainly can work - my boyfriend and I see each other every 4-8 weeks (it varies wildly), he lives in France while I live in England, and I'm looking to move over there within the next year We've been together 3.5 years. If you give it your best shot you have as much chance as anyone else, LDR or no LDR

    I totally agree with darkeneddreams as well. Listen to him :p:

    (Original post by ceteris paribus)
    but misplaced apostrophes don't...
    :rofl: If only I hadn't just given out my rep for today...

    (Original post by scaryhair)
    What do you guys think about breaking up before uni? I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years, and it will be four by the time we're in uni. Most people say it's worth sticking together, but others say it's easier and saves you heartbreak to split before?
    Opinions?
    tbh I don't really see the dilemma. Do you love one another? Then stay together. Distance is not, in my view, a reason to break up: if you feel that unstable then you'll break up no matter where you both are, whether it's in different countries or living down the road from one another.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    excellent replies, i was so down last night but now all you guys have given me hope, and motivation

    so cheeeers. x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Angelil)
    Oooh, a Devon uni eh? Would that be my alma mater Exeter perchance?
    Anyway, on LDRs...any relationship takes EFFORT and COMMUNICATION and LDRs are no exception. Sit down before you go, work out how often you both expect to communicate via MSN/Skype/phone/text, and how often it will be reasonable for you both to see each other (in terms of both money and time). It certainly can work - my boyfriend and I see each other every 4-8 weeks (it varies wildly), he lives in France while I live in England, and I'm looking to move over there within the next year We've been together 3.5 years. If you give it your best shot you have as much chance as anyone else, LDR or no LDR

    I totally agree with darkeneddreams as well. Listen to him :p:


    :rofl: If only I hadn't just given out my rep for today...


    tbh I don't really see the dilemma. Do you love one another? Then stay together. Distance is not, in my view, a reason to break up: if you feel that unstable then you'll break up no matter where you both are, whether it's in different countries or living down the road from one another.

    yes yes exeter
    it will be good but i just have to stop thinking that having a boyfriend will make it crap because i know it will all work out, we love eachother enough and its only a 2 and a half hour drive down from birmingham it will be ok

    i plan to come home twice a month

    and i think he will come up to see me too

    so yeah
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    wooo Exeter You'll love it I'm sure

    Obviously it depends what works for you two/how involved you are planning on getting in uni life etc, but I found it worked well (when my boyfriend was in Bath) to see one another once a fortnight, meaning that individually we were only travelling once a month each, which made it easier on hosting/the old bank balance etc!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Angelil)
    wooo Exeter You'll love it I'm sure

    Obviously it depends what works for you two/how involved you are planning on getting in uni life etc, but I found it worked well (when my boyfriend was in Bath) to see one another once a fortnight, meaning that individually we were only travelling once a month each, which made it easier on hosting/the old bank balance etc!

    did you go to exeter then?

    yeah well i would like to see him more than once a month once a fortnight sounds good, but if we get an idea of dates and stuff to see eachother, and he'll pass his driving test pretty soon too so hopefully he will be able to drive down
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Yes, I was at Exeter Uni from 2004-7. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the place

    Definitely a good idea to sit down and work out some dates - then you will have something to look forward to.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Angelil)
    Yes, I was at Exeter Uni from 2004-7. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the place

    Definitely a good idea to sit down and work out some dates - then you will have something to look forward to.


    thats cool, im really quite scared about uni i dont know what to expect, i also dont like the idea of freshers week being "one big piss up" i would much rather stay sober or better... smoke dope.

    ive heard there are alot of rah type people down there hehe
    • #20
    #20

    This is someone from the LDR society, I'm posting anon just so it can't be tracked by a certain someone, I think you'll know who it is when I describe the situation but I don't want to use names in case the person reads it.

    Well anyway I've been in another country living with my girlfriend for the last 4 months (if you haven't guessed by that, you're on your own :p:) and now I'm home she's said she's missing me loads and has cried a lot and stuff. Something is worrying me though - I don't really miss her at all, I'm not bothered that she's not here I don't like feeling like it, but I can't help it :/ Maybe it's because I've been busy, what with going down to London and all, or maybe I just accept that we can't be together for another few weeks, and I'm used to it from other times.

    Anyone else feel like this when you leave your partner? As I said, I really don't like feeling like this
    • #19
    #19

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is someone from the LDR society, I'm posting anon just so it can't be tracked by a certain someone, I think you'll know who it is when I describe the situation but I don't want to use names in case the person reads it.

    Well anyway I've been in another country living with my girlfriend for the last 4 months (if you haven't guessed by that, you're on your own :p:) and now I'm home she's said she's missing me loads and has cried a lot and stuff. Something is worrying me though - I don't really miss her at all, I'm not bothered that she's not here I don't like feeling like it, but I can't help it :/ Maybe it's because I've been busy, what with going down to London and all, or maybe I just accept that we can't be together for another few weeks, and I'm used to it from other times.

    Anyone else feel like this when you leave your partner? As I said, I really don't like feeling like this
    sometimes i get pissed off when my boyfriend gets all "i miss youuuuu" all of the time, and sometimes, when im with my friends and im having a lot of fun i tend to forget to text him,,, but when i see him that is the only time i realise how much i missed him lol

    is that what yo mean?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L O R E A L)
    thats cool, im really quite scared about uni i dont know what to expect, i also dont like the idea of freshers week being "one big piss up" i would much rather stay sober or better... smoke dope.

    ive heard there are alot of rah type people down there hehe
    I think I only got absolutely bladdered once during freshers' week, didn't stop me having a good time. There are plenty of organised activities on in the evenings as well as in the daytime, that don't involve you pickling your own liver :p:
    And yeah, there are lots of rahs, but you just socialise with who you want to really. They're easy enough to avoid :p:

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is someone from the LDR society, I'm posting anon just so it can't be tracked by a certain someone, I think you'll know who it is when I describe the situation but I don't want to use names in case the person reads it.

    Well anyway I've been in another country living with my girlfriend for the last 4 months (if you haven't guessed by that, you're on your own :p:) and now I'm home she's said she's missing me loads and has cried a lot and stuff. Something is worrying me though - I don't really miss her at all, I'm not bothered that she's not here I don't like feeling like it, but I can't help it :/ Maybe it's because I've been busy, what with going down to London and all, or maybe I just accept that we can't be together for another few weeks, and I'm used to it from other times.

    Anyone else feel like this when you leave your partner? As I said, I really don't like feeling like this
    Ello :hello: It sounds to me like you're just adjusting to the transition better than she is. I'm more needy than my boyfriend is, but ultimately we do both cope pretty well, and while missing each other is in the backs of our minds, it's not an overriding depressing feeling most of the time. She'll probably adjust soon enough, and all you can do in the meantime is be there for her.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Leigh.)
    A guy named Wowza?
    Oops, I meant to post that in the Chat thread. Never mind. No, not Wowza, I've heard from him before! This time it's someone else! Though it is quite clear from my profile I'm taken so maybe they're not being sleazy at all and I'm just reading into it wrong.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is someone from the LDR society, I'm posting anon just so it can't be tracked by a certain someone, I think you'll know who it is when I describe the situation but I don't want to use names in case the person reads it.

    Well anyway I've been in another country living with my girlfriend for the last 4 months (if you haven't guessed by that, you're on your own :p:) and now I'm home she's said she's missing me loads and has cried a lot and stuff. Something is worrying me though - I don't really miss her at all, I'm not bothered that she's not here I don't like feeling like it, but I can't help it :/ Maybe it's because I've been busy, what with going down to London and all, or maybe I just accept that we can't be together for another few weeks, and I'm used to it from other times.

    Anyone else feel like this when you leave your partner? As I said, I really don't like feeling like this
    I'm sure nobody will guess who you are :p:

    I'm the same as you. If I go away to Aberdeen for a few days without my girlfriend, it doesn't really bother me, I just get on with what I'm doing and look forward to seeing her again, whereas she seems to miss me a lot and reacts like your girlfriend does. Don't worry too much about it, she's obviously just got less to do than you at the moment so has more time to dwell on it.

    I'd only start to worry if you still didn't feel anything after a few weeks but for now it's not a problem. Just try and reassure her so she doesn't feel so bad.
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is someone from the LDR society, I'm posting anon just so it can't be tracked by a certain someone, I think you'll know who it is when I describe the situation but I don't want to use names in case the person reads it.

    Well anyway I've been in another country living with my girlfriend for the last 4 months (if you haven't guessed by that, you're on your own :p:) and now I'm home she's said she's missing me loads and has cried a lot and stuff. Something is worrying me though - I don't really miss her at all, I'm not bothered that she's not here I don't like feeling like it, but I can't help it :/ Maybe it's because I've been busy, what with going down to London and all, or maybe I just accept that we can't be together for another few weeks, and I'm used to it from other times.

    Anyone else feel like this when you leave your partner? As I said, I really don't like feeling like this
    hmmmm who could you be? :p:
    To be honest girls do in general tend to be the ones who are a bit more needy, and especially as you have been over there with her you coming back and having things to do is fine, when your the one there without you for the first time in 4 months and she is used to you being there its pretty horrible, everything ends up reminding you of the other person, the one who is left behind tends to end up worse.
    Not missing someone is ok, you deal with it and just accept it so you dont get affected.
    When it gets to the stage that you are talking to them and don't feel anything or cannot be bothered to talk then you should be worried and look if it is what you want.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    conclusion: girls are silly :p:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by scaryhair)
    What do you guys think about breaking up before uni? I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years, and it will be four by the time we're in uni. Most people say it's worth sticking together, but others say it's easier and saves you heartbreak to split before?
    Opinions?
    Why would you want to split up? What kind of problems do you think your going to face?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by darkeneddreams)
    Why would you want to split up? What kind of problems do you think your going to face?
    Okay, neither of us want to split up, we're both very happy now, but it's a year off and I just want to hear people's experiences and opinions. Just to clear that up
    We'll both be doing medicine if all goes to plan, so that will make it even more difficult to see each other semi-regularly because I can see our schedules being extremely hectic! Also, the biggest distance between us would be Edinburgh - Brighton, but we're both applying this September so we obviously have a while until we know where we're going.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Angelil)
    conclusion: girls are silly :p:
    :ditto: we have our moments of irrationality and are more intune with our emotions/intuition. guys tend to use logic and so you're looking ahead thinking in a month i'll see her again and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. you also have a lot going on, finding a place, getting a job and so most of your days are quite busy/hectic if shes at home and doesnt have much else to do she is naturally going to dwell on it more. also you've been living with her in her house and so everything around her atm is going to remind her of you. just try supporting her, remind her that its not too long till you're together again.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by scaryhair)
    Okay, neither of us want to split up, we're both very happy now, but it's a year off and I just want to hear people's experiences and opinions. Just to clear that up
    We'll both be doing medicine if all goes to plan, so that will make it even more difficult to see each other semi-regularly because I can see our schedules being extremely hectic! Also, the biggest distance between us would be Edinburgh - Brighton, but we're both applying this September so we obviously have a while until we know where we're going.
    tbh atm its a year away for you guys and a lot can happen in a year but obviously it is good to think ahead but if i was you i wouldnt worry about becoming a LDR just yet i. In my opinion relationships with timestamps dont often work and can lead to more heartache as you fall for them deeper and by the time you split up you could care for them a great deal and even love especially with your situation where it'll be 4 years. im from the camp of it you're going to be a time stamp on the relationship whats the point. surely even if you split up at uni after trying a LDR it'll be better than not trying at all, at least you can say you tried and it didnt work instead of wondering 'what if'.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    blah
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 9, 2013
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.