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    I'm taking a gap year and will be applying to unis next month. I will have been with by boyfriend for nearly five years by the time I go away next September (we got together at high school when I was fourteen), and I am pretty sure that I will be in a long distance relationship in my first year and my boyfriend's last year at university. Most people on here seem to think LDRs are worth the trouble; however, a lot of people are saying they aren't looking forward to going back to uni. Do you think being in an LDR spoils the fun of the first year at uni, because you are always missing the other person so much?
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    (Original post by Fleece)
    It would be possible, but as I've mentioned, neither I nor the boy have much desire to not see each other AGAIN for 6 months, just speaking on the internet. It's exhausting! I think I might just have to bite the bullet.
    It's only just over three months until Christmas. Can you wait that long?
    • #155
    #155

    (Original post by jannike)
    Is the ticket out of date? If not, you might be able to sell it still.
    Good idea, but the ticket is non-refundable - it can't be resold.

    Many thanks to all the answers. You have given me courage in knowing that it's not just me that thinks he should take responsibility for his invitations. Just as I decided to cover the ticket myself (after his many insisting invitations and promises that he will pay for it), so should he take the responsibility for breaking up with me, knowing that I'll be left with one redundant ticket. Thank you for again for all the help and support!
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    (Original post by jannike)
    I'm taking a gap year and will be applying to unis next month. I will have been with by boyfriend for nearly five years by the time I go away next September (we got together at high school when I was fourteen), and I am pretty sure that I will be in a long distance relationship in my first year and my boyfriend's last year at university. Most people on here seem to think LDRs are worth the trouble; however, a lot of people are saying they aren't looking forward to going back to uni. Do you think being in an LDR spoils the fun of the first year at uni, because you are always missing the other person so much?
    No not at all. My boyfriend said he still had fun in his first year at uni as well as missing me. You have to balance it all out.
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    Hey guys. My bf is going to Paris for two years and I am staying in London. Our whole relationship has been one big LDR because I spent 4 months of the summer in Russia last year because I'm Russian, then spent a month at home in December of the same year then March and April of this summer and now once more two months of this summer! We have been together for 18 months. I plan to see him every other weekend while he is in Paris... I am so nervous about this though. I'm afraid he will get there and forget me because we have had many rough times and like 3 breakups... Is it normal if he doesn't get in touch the first few days because he is settling into a new country, new flat, won't have a French phone? I just get paranoid easily. I guess Im clingy. Help!
    • #156
    #156

    Hi i hope my post qualifies as an ldr post.
    I go to uni soon and my other half is still in college, hes younger than me.
    We have known each other for about 5 years, only got together earlier this year, but since then we went on a long holiday together in the summer and we have grown very close, so close that i think i won't be able to go to uni, i want to go, but everytime i think about uni i think about him, and its making me sleepless. argh, i know it is only a mere 2.5 hours away, and there are plenty worse, but this is my first proper relationship and his. How can i divert my attention from missing him, and to concentrating on startin uni and doing my best ?
    sigh..
    thank you, rant over
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    (Original post by **CutiePie**)
    Edinburgh- London isn't really that far at all. This guy sounds like he really likes you and is doing alot to enable you to be together. If you like him then why not give it a go. Surely there would be some point you could see each other, even if it's once every month. There's always light at the end of the tunnel.
    I guess it just seems so far because he wont be a 10 minute walk away like it was here. I know he is doing a lot for us, I'm just worried that it wont even be once a month we get to see each other I think I'm maybe just feeling odd because its the first time I'm actually seeing someone that I have the potential to miss :o:
    Thanks for the positive response though
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    (Original post by Sianeh)
    I guess it just seems so far because he wont be a 10 minute walk away like it was here. I know he is doing a lot for us, I'm just worried that it wont even be once a month we get to see each other I think I'm maybe just feeling odd because its the first time I'm actually seeing someone that I have the potential to miss :o:
    Thanks for the positive response though
    There is a regular train that goes direct from Edinburgh to London, well there was in June anyway so that might help!
    I did Liverpool to St.Andrews which is technically a bit closer but the journey time and cost is about the same. I managed a year of it with my boyfriend and now I've moved to uni closer to him.
    If you both really care about each other and want it to work, then you can make it work
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi i hope my post qualifies as an ldr post.
    I go to uni soon and my other half is still in college, hes younger than me.
    We have known each other for about 5 years, only got together earlier this year, but since then we went on a long holiday together in the summer and we have grown very close, so close that i think i won't be able to go to uni, i want to go, but everytime i think about uni i think about him, and its making me sleepless. argh, i know it is only a mere 2.5 hours away, and there are plenty worse, but this is my first proper relationship and his. How can i divert my attention from missing him, and to concentrating on startin uni and doing my best ?
    sigh..
    thank you, rant over
    I know how you feel, last year my boyfriend went off to university whilst I stayed at home and at first it was very hard.
    2 and a half hours is quite good though and you could probably see each other every other weekend.
    The good thing about him still being in college is that he can come and stay with you during his half term and that will give you a big chunk of time together.
    LDRs aren't easy but if you love each other and want to put in the commitment then they do work. There are loads of people here who have come through LDRs and some are international.

    I think that once you've got to uni you won't miss him as much as you think you will. There is so much stuff going on in the first week that you don't have much time to think, you're meeting new people and going to all sorts of events.
    You can text in the day and let each other know how the day is going and then maybe chat at your boyfriends lunch. Then chat when you're in bed at night, I find this the most comforting thing as my boyfriends voice is the last thing I hear so he is the last thing/person I think about before I fall asleep :o:
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    (Original post by angel_with_horns)
    Hey guys. My bf is going to Paris for two years and I am staying in London. Our whole relationship has been one big LDR because I spent 4 months of the summer in Russia last year because I'm Russian, then spent a month at home in December of the same year then March and April of this summer and now once more two months of this summer! We have been together for 18 months. I plan to see him every other weekend while he is in Paris... I am so nervous about this though. I'm afraid he will get there and forget me because we have had many rough times and like 3 breakups... Is it normal if he doesn't get in touch the first few days because he is settling into a new country, new flat, won't have a French phone? I just get paranoid easily. I guess Im clingy. Help!
    I wouldn't be too concerned if he doesnt get in touch the first couple days, as settling into a new country could be tough
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    (Original post by angel_with_horns)
    Hey guys. My bf is going to Paris for two years and I am staying in London. Our whole relationship has been one big LDR because I spent 4 months of the summer in Russia last year because I'm Russian, then spent a month at home in December of the same year then March and April of this summer and now once more two months of this summer! We have been together for 18 months. I plan to see him every other weekend while he is in Paris... I am so nervous about this though. I'm afraid he will get there and forget me because we have had many rough times and like 3 breakups... Is it normal if he doesn't get in touch the first few days because he is settling into a new country, new flat, won't have a French phone? I just get paranoid easily. I guess Im clingy. Help!
    Talk to him and make a plan for contact in the first few days. Maybe you could help him look into getting a french phone now.
    And download Skype onto both your computers. That way you can speak and see each other for free whether he has a phone or not
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    Hi there Nattynoo

    You've come to the right place! Feel free to join us in the chat thread too (it's in my signature).

    I was in an international LDR with my boyfriend, also England-France. Between us we lived in a variety of locations over 3.5 years, from Exeter to Lyon, and I finally moved to France last September to move in with him. Best thing I ever did! He's now my fiancé and I love living and working here So if there's anything you want to ask or complain about, know that there's a whole community of us who understand (but especially me )
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    (Original post by Nattynoo101)
    Hey, I've just started a long distance relationship. My Dad lives in France, and got married this summer and I met someone at his wedding, but he is French. I've spent the whole summer with him so we've gotten really close, it's just a bit of a blow to suddenly not see him for a while. The thing is he lives in Brest during term time which is really difficult to get to..there was a perfect flight from Brest to Manchester with flybe but they've stopped it for the winter..damn! So I honestly don't know how we can see each other very often I start uni this year, and he is at university too so finding time will be difficult.

    In the holidays I will be able to see him a lot, he is connected to my family and his parents live 3 doors away from my dad so it will be great. It's just a bummer that times in between will be very difficult.

    I like him a lot and i'd love to make this work. It probably seems crazy..but the long distance thing won't be forever and if we want it to work I know it will

    I don't know what i'm asking really, Just thought i'd share my story and see if anyone is in a similar situation! I keep going through phases of being fine, other times not. It's only my second day of the long distance thing...so i guess with time it will be easier to deal with.

    Oh and sorry for the long post! Thanks to anyone who bothers to read
    French men are :love:! (I'm lucky - mine moved to London last month, much closer to Sheffield than Montpellier.) And it doesn't seem crazy - this is the LDR soc afterall! What are your boyfriend's thoughts on things?
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    So, I've started dating this boy over the summer. We only met in June, and started dating in July, so it has only been about 2 months. But I'm going back to uni in a week (he lives at home still because his uni is close by), and I'm not sure if we'll continue dating. I only have one year left, and then will maybe be coming back to go to university close to him (because there are good universities there; not because of him). He has made a few mentions of things we could do at Christmas, but I'm not sure how he feels about LDRs. I know we need to talk about this, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. Suggestions? I'm worried that if we stay together, I'll spend my entire year thinking about him and talking to him, but I really like him, so if he is up for it, I think I'd like to stay together. Any advice?
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    Well, my boyfriend has got the job in London and he starts on the 5th Oct so he'll be moving to the UK in around 3 weeks! Well I think I'm really gonna give it a go, and at the end of the day London is a lot closer than Nice! Hopefully we'll get to see each other at least once a month..I just hope that will be enough!
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    (Original post by Sianeh)
    Well, my boyfriend has got the job in London and he starts on the 5th Oct so he'll be moving to the UK in around 3 weeks! Well I think I'm really gonna give it a go, and at the end of the day London is a lot closer than Nice! Hopefully we'll get to see each other at least once a month..I just hope that will be enough!
    That's great! Good luck
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    Thanks for the advice, Nattynoo101! It is really nice to hear from someone in a similar situation. It is probably only a year, so I think I could manage to strike a good balance then. I like to think I'm not overly needy or clingy as a girlfriend, so I'd manage okay being apart and not hearing from him constantly, but I know it'll be hard to be so far away

    I was wondering, though, in general, what people feel is the best way to stay in contact. While msn is easy and can lead to productive multi-tasking (or I can pretend this), sometimes phone calls feel more like you are actually speaking to each other, and with skype you can actually see each other...what works best for you guys?
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    (Original post by thaed)
    Thanks for the advice, Nattynoo101! It is really nice to hear from someone in a similar situation. It is probably only a year, so I think I could manage to strike a good balance then. I like to think I'm not overly needy or clingy as a girlfriend, so I'd manage okay being apart and not hearing from him constantly, but I know it'll be hard to be so far away

    I was wondering, though, in general, what people feel is the best way to stay in contact. While msn is easy and can lead to productive multi-tasking (or I can pretend this), sometimes phone calls feel more like you are actually speaking to each other, and with skype you can actually see each other...what works best for you guys?
    For me it's a mix - often we'll be having totally different but simultaneous conversations by MSN and email or MSN and phone or MSN and facebook. MSN is more relaxed and you can do other things and it doesn't matter if someone goes to the loo or just doesn't say anything for ten minutes, but it's nice to have the voice contact sometimes (and I loooove hearing his voice, no matter what he's saying...) Though right now my guy doesn't have internet and his UK mobile is dead so we can only text each other (to/from his French mobile so it's expensive)...
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    (Original post by thaed)
    Thanks for the advice, Nattynoo101! It is really nice to hear from someone in a similar situation. It is probably only a year, so I think I could manage to strike a good balance then. I like to think I'm not overly needy or clingy as a girlfriend, so I'd manage okay being apart and not hearing from him constantly, but I know it'll be hard to be so far away

    I was wondering, though, in general, what people feel is the best way to stay in contact. While msn is easy and can lead to productive multi-tasking (or I can pretend this), sometimes phone calls feel more like you are actually speaking to each other, and with skype you can actually see each other...what works best for you guys?
    I prefer phonecalls and texts, not a fan of msn. Things can be taken the wrong way so easily on it. And when I've been on it with my boyfriend there are always gaps of like 10 minutes because we both get distracted by something, so I don't find it as good.

    What we do is send a few texts through the day and have a phonecall at night for about an hour. He's just made me download skype so we might start using that but I don't like it. I get self-conscious when I get my picture taken so it's the same feeling as that and I'd feel a bit daft talking to nothing. Probably will use it occasionally though, it'll be nice to see his face.

    You'll figure out what you prefer and what works best for you. What'll your distance be anyway?
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    Well, I'll be in Scotland, and he'll be in the States this year...so it's a pretty big distance. I'll see him at Christmas, I think, when we're both home, but it means that I can't text him (because he'll be on a US mobile). Is having your bf in a foreign country any harder? It does mean we won't be on the same time zone and everything, but that doesn't really matter.

    It's really nice to get all this advice, though. We'll probably use MSN/phone calls, at least at first, and see what works best. I just need to be able to find a balance between feeling like we're actually communicating with each other, and not spending all my free time talking to him (as I should have a life at uni...) so we'll see!
 
 
 
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