Turn on thread page Beta

The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greenjellybean)
    Hey guys
    Just had a talk with a mate and her boyfriend is all the way in Hong Kong and she can't fly over there till Easter :-( so It makes my situation seen a LOT less bad (I'm in Norwich and he's in Birmingham) and I get to see him in December. I felt really bad for her because the earliest ticket to Hong Kong that she cold get was over Easter (and she thought trying to book a Christmas ticket three months before Christmas was really early).

    Has anyone got any ideas how I could cheer her up because I can't think of anything I could say to her besides - "keep trying - there could be a cancellation"
    That really is awful I can't even think of anything that would cheer her up. Don't suppose there's any way they could both fly somewhere else (in Europe or something?) and spend a few days there..? I know that'd probably be ridiculously expensive but I don't think I could wait till Easter =/

    Are you still not planning on seeing him till December? I know everyone's given you advice on cheap tickets and you say your boyfriend's working, so why are you leaving it so long?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    That really is awful I can't even think of anything that would cheer her up. Don't suppose there's any way they could both fly somewhere else (in Europe or something?) and spend a few days there..? I know that'd probably be ridiculously expensive but I don't think I could wait till Easter =/

    Are you still not planning on seeing him till December? I know everyone's given you advice on cheap tickets and you say your boyfriend's working, so why are you leaving it so long?
    Yeah i thought they could fly and meet each other somewhere but it's just too expensive. They talk everyday but sooner or later that's probably not gonna be enough because she's really missing him
    I can't wait till December and to think if I had to wait till Easter...

    I would really love to see him before December but we really both cannot afford the tickets.
    I dunno-im still looking for cheap tickets but the cheapest I've found so far are really expensive.
    Im getting a job soon so I should be able to save up and go see him but at the moment med school has proved to be really expensive.

    Yeah he works but he has to pay to take care of his family - his mum doesn't work (ill) and his dad too

    He's insisting on coming down to Norwich but I don't think i'll let him just yet because firstly I'm too busy even on the weekends and then if he comes he'll spend loads of money visiting.

    I dunno
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greenjellybean)
    ...
    That's a shame. Is she sure she can't get a ticket there? My friend's from HK and I quickly looked it up from the company she goes with and there are tickets left as far as I can see. They're expensive but I assume all tickets to HK are.

    Well from what Lucy said it was £45 with railcard, that's exactly the same as the cost of my ticket. If you split the ticket, it's about £20 each. Even if I was on a reallyyy tight budget I'd try to spare that at least once, it'd cut the gap between seeing him from 3 months to two gaps of just over one month...

    I'll stop quizzing you now cos obviously you know best, but it just seems a bit odd. Like you're making excuses not to see him or something Sorry I don't want to be mean or anything, that's just what it seems like.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of 6 months, who lives in america, and i live in the uk
    He dumped me because he said that he can't take the distance, and never being able to see me or hold me and stuff is too much for him.
    However, we still are good friends and he continually tells me how much he loves me and wants to be here.
    I don't know what to think!
    Originally, his dumping me was triggered by him meeting a girl there that he liked but wouldnt actually date in the end.
    So now he says he still loves me, calls me by pet names and stuff still, sends me things in the post etc...and i still really love him.
    But i don't know if...it feels like he wants to be with me but he wants the freedom to meet/date other girls there too...i'm so confused!
    When he dumped me, he asked if we could go back to before we "officially" dated, which was practically the same as when weWERE dating, just not official!
    I get the feeling that i'm being played or something, but i love him so much i will do whatever he says. i talk to him pretty much every day, but every so often, he seems a bit distant. He keeps saying he will come and visit me by early next year...do i believe him or not?
    it's so complicated, it's messingmy head up and causing bad things to happen :/
    he knew from the outset how difficult it would be being apart..
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greenjellybean)
    I would really love to see him before December but we really both cannot afford the tickets.
    I dunno-im still looking for cheap tickets but the cheapest I've found so far are really expensive.
    Im getting a job soon so I should be able to save up and go see him but at the moment med school has proved to be really expensive.

    Yeah he works but he has to pay to take care of his family - his mum doesn't work (ill) and his dad too

    He's insisting on coming down to Norwich but I don't think i'll let him just yet because firstly I'm too busy even on the weekends and then if he comes he'll spend loads of money visiting.

    I dunno
    I've just looked at tickets for you, incase you were totally missing some good deals, and personally I think you are. I looked at tickets straight from Birmingham New St to Norwich and that was £35 single, so quite a lot, but it said one change (which was in Peterborough), so I did Brum - Peter. which was £3.30-£4.30 depending on what time you left, and then Peterborough to Norwich was only £4.60 on a lot of the services, amazingly cheap! That's under £10 for a single journey.

    I just picked a random day in October by the way.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    That's a shame. Is she sure she can't get a ticket there? My friend's from HK and I quickly looked it up from the company she goes with and there are tickets left as far as I can see. They're expensive but I assume all tickets to HK are.

    Well from what Lucy said it was £45 with railcard, that's exactly the same as the cost of my ticket. If you split the ticket, it's about £20 each. Even if I was on a reallyyy tight budget I'd try to spare that at least once, it'd cut the gap between seeing him from 3 months to two gaps of just over one month...

    I'll stop quizzing you now cos obviously you know best, but it just seems a bit odd. Like you're making excuses not to see him or something Sorry I don't want to be mean or anything, that's just what it seems like.
    Hey! It's no problem! It sounds like I'm making excuses in my head as well
    Im probably not used to paying that much for travel and I've spent far too much money already - But that shouldn't be a problem seeing as I love him so much:rolleyes:

    It's probably a question of being weak as well (in my head) because I want to be able to cope with this LDR (I know it sounds like I don't want to see him but thats not it). Also as its been a week its not too bad - the longest I haven't seen him is three weeks and that was the most painful experience of my life. So maybe when it gets towards three weeks i'll start to be more urgent.
    And im still yet to find that £45 ticket but im looking

    And you're not sounding mean - you're actually getting me to really think about this because it becoming apparent that I haven't so thanks a million!!!:o:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    My boyfriend has decided to "surprise" me by coming up to visit me, even though I'd asked him not to until next weekend because I want to get settled in at uni. I mean, it's sweet that he spontaneously wanted to surprise me, and it will be great to see him, but however much I miss him I still felt it was best to have a couple of weeks to myself. Now I have to change my plans, get more food in, tidy up... and the cost to him of buying tickets last minute is too much. When he told me yesterday that he'd bought coach tickets I don't think my reaction was quite what he was expecting... I was quite cross and honest about why and I think it upset him I should have just shut up. Would anyone else be pissed off if this happened (given that we are seeing each other next weekend too - it's not like we would otherwise have to wait three months), or is it just me being a whiny *****?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hannahdaisy)
    I've just looked at tickets for you, incase you were totally missing some good deals, and personally I think you are. I looked at tickets straight from Birmingham New St to Norwich and that was £35 single, so quite a lot, but it said one change (which was in Peterborough), so I did Brum - Peter. which was £3.30-£4.30 depending on what time you left, and then Peterborough to Norwich was only £4.60 on a lot of the services, amazingly cheap! That's under £10 for a single journey.

    I just picked a random day in October by the way.
    OMG now I get what (you) were saying about cutting the journey into bits - I couldn't get my head around it!

    Thanks a trillion Hannah - seriously

    Im booking them now!!!!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    No problem! Hope they're times you want and stuff, it can be a bit fiddly if you haven't done it before, if you have any questions just ask. I always use the National Express website, I like the layout. Just make sure you make sure the times of the trains are right and don't clash and stuff, you don't wanna book to leave Peterborough at 4pm and then realise you don't arrive there until 4.15 or something!

    I've been doing it all morning today trying to find a cheap way to get to my bf, it's so much more expensive from Bristol than it is when I'm back in London managed to get a return for £39 and that's doing part of the journey by coach. Oh well, just wanna see him!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greenjellybean)
    ...
    I just don't know how you're even facing the prospect of 3 months! I'm seeing him in two weeks and I still found it dead hard to leave yesterday. Longest I've done is 5 weeks and by the end of that I almost wanted to just catch the next train and forget about work and uni, I was so desperate to see him.

    The £45 ticket is with railcard, think it comes up about £69 on National Rail. Although Hannah's suggestion is amazing and you should definitely do that.

    (Original post by Slender Loris)
    ...
    Ugh it's horrible when stuff like that happens. They think they're doing a good thing but you have it in your head that something else is happening. I'm not a fan of surprises and I told my bf way at the start never to do anything like that, if he's coming up I want to be able to look forward to it.

    There's not much you can do about it now though. Just try to enjoy it and even though he's annoyed you, try to seem happy. If it was the other way round you'd be upset if you felt he didn't want you there after you'd made an effort. It's a nice thing for him to do, even if he did go the wrong way about it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    I just don't know how you're even facing the prospect of 3 months! I'm seeing him in two weeks and I still found it dead hard to leave yesterday. Longest I've done is 5 weeks and by the end of that I almost wanted to just catch the next train and forget about work and uni, I was so desperate to see him.

    The £45 ticket is with railcard, think it comes up about £69 on National Rail. Although Hannah's suggestion is amazing and you should definitely do that.



    Ugh it's horrible when stuff like that happens. They think they're doing a good thing but you have it in your head that something else is happening. I'm not a fan of surprises and I told my bf way at the start never to do anything like that, if he's coming up I want to be able to look forward to it.

    There's not much you can do about it now though. Just try to enjoy it and even though he's annoyed you, try to seem happy. If it was the other way round you'd be upset if you felt he didn't want you there after you'd made an effort. It's a nice thing for him to do, even if he did go the wrong way about it.
    Yeah, there's no point in me not being positive about it and I am really happy to be seeing him! I just don't like the sudden change of plans - even if logically it's fine to do what I was going to do another day/with him here, it still messes up my brain! At least he told me and didn't just turn up.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I've been in a LDR for nearly four years. He's the greatest thing to ever happen to me, but it's been so hard, but rewarding.

    We didn't meet for a year and a half (I was only 14 when we started dating and my mum wouldn't allow us to meet yet). So he was allowed to meet me the day before my 16th (in the year 2007), and he stayed the night. He then came over for Halloween that year for a few days. We then had to wait nearly a year again to see each other. It was the hardest ever. He then came over for my 17th. And I was allowed to go to his at the end of the month. This year, I've been three times already and I'm goin over at Christmas. Saying goodbye to each other is the worst, I cry my eyes out, I just can't hold my emotions back.

    It's a very hard thing to do, I do break down and cry because I'm not with him, when you see people being loved up in the street, it's so hard. We've been engaged for about a month now and I can't wait to, one day, move over with him.

    I love him more than anything in this world. A LDR can work. I am, and many others are proof that it can work.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Where is he based then MysteryPass?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He's based in Yorkshire.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Seems like you see each other very infrequently for the distance involved, then...see from your postbit that you are based in NI and thought you were going to say that he was based in the US or something! Why do you see each other so infrequently? Is it to do with school/uni?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It's a number of things. He works, I'm at full-time college and have a job on Saturday's. It's hard for him to book time off work, because he needs like four months notice, and I hate askin for time off from the job, and the cost of flights. £70 or £80 may not be much to some people but it is quite a lot for a return trip. And I try and not miss college, because the sooner I get the achievements, the sooner I can move over to him.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I posted on here a few times about my ex (at the time it looked like it may turn into an LDR, but she dumped me. yay).

    Anyway, I've got involved with a different girl, and it will be an LDR this time. She lives in north Devon, so its going to be long distance when I'm at uni and when I'm at home. Hoping to go to see her in 2 weeks . Its not going to be easy though cos she works on a saturday night.

    Ah well, she's worth it :yep:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by WelshBluebird)
    I posted on here a few times about my ex (at the time it looked like it may turn into an LDR, but she dumped me. yay).

    Anyway, I've got involved with a different girl, and it will be an LDR this time. She lives in north Devon, so its going to be long distance when I'm at uni and when I'm at home. Hoping to go to see her in 2 weeks . Its not going to be easy though cos she works on a saturday night.

    Ah well, she's worth it :yep:
    Good luck (:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My boyfriend and I are going to separate uni's next year. I wanted to maybe go together but as his sister and her boyfriend broke up one week into their uni life, he's not so keen . I don't know how I'm going to manage though because we see each other everyday at the moment and just thinking about uni makes me feel pretty down :/ he's going to Anglia Ruskin and we are talking about me going to Essex then living together in years 2 and 3 but I don't know if I'm just going to the uni to be close to him, or because it really looks like a good uni. I also have NO idea what I want to do at uni either anyone got any advice? Sorry for the massive rant!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by princesslovesmonkey)
    My boyfriend and I are going to separate uni's next year. I wanted to maybe go together but as his sister and her boyfriend broke up one week into their uni life, he's not so keen . I don't know how I'm going to manage though because we see each other everyday at the moment and just thinking about uni makes me feel pretty down :/ he's going to Anglia Ruskin and we are talking about me going to Essex then living together in years 2 and 3 but I don't know if I'm just going to the uni to be close to him, or because it really looks like a good uni. I also have NO idea what I want to do at uni either anyone got any advice? Sorry for the massive rant!
    DO NOT go to a Uni to please your bf, if you don't like the Uni and don't think you want to live there for 3-4 years then don't go because you will inevitably hate it and blame your bf for being there. You need to choose a uni you like and can see yourself staying at for up to 4 years. When i was choosing my university I didn't even consider where my bf was going.. i chose the uni that was best for me. Would you pick Essex if you bf wasn't in the picture, thats what you've got to ask yourself? Also don't just go to uni because 'its what everyone does' go because you want/need to go and pick a course that's going to interest you, do your research into courses and Unis before making your choice because its one of the most important ones you'll make.
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 9, 2013
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.