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    Bahhh, I'm so fed up of my LDR. I was meant to be going to the same university as my boyfriend but he ended up doing badly in his exams and going to London through clearing. He's having a really good time and me not so much.. We talk all the time but it makes me so miserable because no matter what I'm having a problem with he seems to be having the best luck with. And even though he doesn't meant to rub stuff in my face he always manages to. I really don't want to be jealous of him but it's really annoying how I tried so hard in my A levels and have ended up not happy whereas he did no work and is having the time of his life. He's never been the most sympathetic bloke, when I'm with him he's good at cuddling me to make me feel better but on the other end of the phone he just doesn't know what to say so ends up sounding really cold and upsetting me even more. I love him so much but being apart has turned me into such a horrible person, I just don't know what to do
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    (Original post by Flummox)
    Bahhh, I'm so fed up of my LDR. I was meant to be going to the same university as my boyfriend but he ended up doing badly in his exams and going to London through clearing. He's having a really good time and me not so much.. We talk all the time but it makes me so miserable because no matter what I'm having a problem with he seems to be having the best luck with. And even though he doesn't meant to rub stuff in my face he always manages to. I really don't want to be jealous of him but it's really annoying how I tried so hard in my A levels and have ended up not happy whereas he did no work and is having the time of his life. He's never been the most sympathetic bloke, when I'm with him he's good at cuddling me to make me feel better but on the other end of the phone he just doesn't know what to say so ends up sounding really cold and upsetting me even more. I love him so much but being apart has turned me into such a horrible person, I just don't know what to do
    At least you can see it though and that is the first step.
    I know what you mean to an extent. Last year my boyfriend went off to uni and I stayed at college and was having difficulty with my work whilst he seemed to be having the time of his life. However, he was quite good at helping me through it.

    Have you been to visit your boyfriend much?
    What is it about your university that you don't like? Is it the people or the work?
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    (Original post by natalie**20)
    Coz id be leaving him earlier when i dont have to rele but just wanna get away from here.
    SUre i wil cope just a bit worrying
    Maybe the solution is to NOT leave earlier. Especially if its going to make you miss your boyfriend even more. If you don't have to do it then personally I wouldn't.
    Maybe instead you could suggest the two of you go together for 1 or 2 weeks so he can see what it'll be like and you can get a feel for the place. Then you go back to Spain and enjoy each others time together before you leave next year?
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    yea i think thats what ill do. thanks again
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    (Original post by natalie**20)
    im going to uni in lancashire next year, am living in spain at the moment and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and have an amzaing relationship, but have to mark a hard decision to choose him or my career and obviously chose my career. I will see him every 4 5 weeks when he comes over or i go back, but just dont want to leave but at the same time cant wait to get out of spain. Is anyone doing the same at the moment how are u finding it???
    Not atm (I'm in a LDR just shorter distance) Last year I did spain to england, and had gaps of up to 5 months without seeing my other half since due to his gap year it was difficult to arrange to see each other. We hadn't been together that long really, actually it's about the same amount of time you will have been with your bf and we've come through it and are now stronger than ever. It seems really daunting atm, but as Lucy said it's a year away and a year is quite a long time in terms of relationships... and a lot can happen, so try not to worry too much about it. Make the most of what you have now.

    As for the practicalities of a LDR, there's skype which is amazing since a)it's free which as students we love to hear! and b) if you get a webcam you can see the other person and talk to them which definitely makes things easier. 5 weeks isn't too long between seeing each other (although it seems daunting now) and as long as you trust each other and communicate well theres no reason why it shouldn't work. Also at Uni, they'll be lots to keep you busy with societies etc so keeping your mind of missing them will be a little easier (least thats what I've found although I still miss them loads of course).
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    Hey guys,
    I'm new to this site and am looking for some advice!!
    I've been with my girlfriend for 5 months and have had a really amazing time so far. I love her and as sad as it sounds can't picture being without her!
    She's on a gap year at the moment so we're in the same place but next year she's going off to uni in Norwich. About a week ago we had a really emotional conversation because this is her first relationship thats lasted longer than 2 weeks. She said she doesn't like the fact that being in a relationship seems so definite and that she's 'tied down'. She's hating her life at the moment and i'm scared she's going to end it with me. I believe were she to forget about her worries for a little while things would get better between us and she'd start enjoying herself again. I don't know how to talk to her about it and really looking for some advice as to what i can say??
    Thanks
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    (Original post by recovering_graduate)
    Hey guys,
    I'm new to this site and am looking for some advice!!
    I've been with my girlfriend for 5 months and have had a really amazing time so far. I love her and as sad as it sounds can't picture being without her!
    She's on a gap year at the moment so we're in the same place but next year she's going off to uni in Norwich. About a week ago we had a really emotional conversation because this is her first relationship thats lasted longer than 2 weeks. She said she doesn't like the fact that being in a relationship seems so definite and that she's 'tied down'. She's hating her life at the moment and i'm scared she's going to end it with me. I believe were she to forget about her worries for a little while things would get better between us and she'd start enjoying herself again. I don't know how to talk to her about it and really looking for some advice as to what i can say??
    Thanks
    Hello (: and welcome to the site.
    You say your girlfriend says she seems "tied down". Do you do the same routine all the time? If you's do, why don't you's go out and do something different?
    Why don't you arrange a special day out for the both of you? I don't know what ages you both are, but think of something you both never really do. Like a romantic dinner, ice-skating, a day at the beach. Something lovely that would surprise her.
    Have you ever tried to buy her a present out of the blue? It doesn't have to be huge or anything, just something that you know would bring a smile to her face, maybe a teddy bear and chocolate just to tell her that you love her. I'm in an LDR and sometimes my fiancé just sends me stuff like that, and I really like it.
    I'm not sure what you could say to your girlfriend but try and stay positive.

    Good luck (:
    • #165
    #165

    Hey guys!!
    Okay so this is just a bit of nervousness.
    I'm going to see my boyfriend after six weeks of not seeing him and I AM PETRIFIED
    I don't know why but I just am

    I'm imagining that when we sleep together I'll be too scared to do anything and it will be awkward.
    It will be five months together on haloween and I want it to be special but Im scared ot wont be because I'm too bloody scared

    Its really annoying me and I've tried to ask my friends for advice but all they just say is just be normal - BUT I CAN'T

    Actually thinking about it makes it worse.
    Its a 5 hour journey to go and see him and I was thinking of buying some alcohol (seriously) so calm me down a bit - But I dont think its a good idea because I dont cope with alcohol very well

    Help anyone?

    Thanks!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    First of all, don't drink beforehand. It'll make things worse.

    I think everyone gets a bit nervous after a gap like that, it's not just you. There's probably a load of posts on here asking the same thing. Is it the first time you've had a gap that long?

    In my experience after a gap like that it can feel a bit awkward when you first meet again. But after 5 minutes of talking and just being together you'll be surprised how normal it all feels again so I definitely wouldn't worry about sleeping together, you'll be fine. Have you told him how you feel? Maybe next time you're on the phone you could just say you're a bit nervous and get him to reassure you, it'll make you feel better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys!!
    Okay so this is just a bit of nervousness.
    I'm going to see my boyfriend after six weeks of not seeing him and I AM PETRIFIED
    I don't know why but I just am

    I'm imagining that when we sleep together I'll be too scared to do anything and it will be awkward.
    It will be five months together on haloween and I want it to be special but Im scared ot wont be because I'm too bloody scared

    Its really annoying me and I've tried to ask my friends for advice but all they just say is just be normal - BUT I CAN'T

    Actually thinking about it makes it worse.
    Its a 5 hour journey to go and see him and I was thinking of buying some alcohol (seriously) so calm me down a bit - But I dont think its a good idea because I dont cope with alcohol very well

    Help anyone?

    Thanks!
    Awww don't worry about it honestly. When I go and meet my fiancé I still get really scared and nervous, but he really puts me at ease. He makes me laugh and smile and makes me feel comfortable, and I'm sure your boyfriend will do that too. Just get excited that you're seeing him (:
    • #165
    #165

    Thanks MysteryPass and New Romantic!!

    I'm definitely feeling like an idiot now for worrying. I told him last night that I was feeling a bit nervous and he reassured me that there was no need!

    The longest I hadn't seen him before was three weeks and that was hard. This has been the hardest ever ever but I'm really excited to go and see him.
    I've been playing out what I'll do when I first see him in my head everyday for ages now and its only four days till I can actually do it!!!!!

    Thanks a lot guys!
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    im going to uni next year and my girlfriend of 2 years is a year below me, im guessing she'll be highly worried about me drinking casually and at parties and sharing rooms etc. id never cheat on her but i'm worried if seeing each other just a few times a month affects a strong relationship
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    (Original post by Sam 'Fozzy' Forrest)
    im going to uni next year and my girlfriend of 2 years is a year below me, im guessing she'll be highly worried about me drinking casually and at parties and sharing rooms etc. id never cheat on her but i'm worried if seeing each other just a few times a month affects a strong relationship
    Hi Sam, my boyfriend started uni in September, we've been together 2 years next month and sometimes I do get a tiny bit worried, everybody does, it's natural. But when my boyfriend texts me telling me he loves me loads all my worries go away, in fact it makes my day Just make sure you tell her about your friends that you've made and the things that you've been up to so that she feels involved and be in contact at least once every day like by text or phone call and tell her you love her lots There's no reason why your relationship should be affected if it's a strong relationship. You've just got to make sure you keep in regular contact. You'll be fine seriously, you both love each other so there's no reason for it to not work
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    im almost in the exact same situation to you jade1. I think you pretty much got that in a nutshell! I really dont like it when people put you down for being in an LDR when theyve never tried themselves. :yes:
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    Hi!
    I'm french and I'm in a LDR. Until today everything was great, but I'm feeling weird.. I have this thing in my throat, in my mouth, I want to cry but I can't. I miss her so much, and these last 3 days it was a little bit "empty"..

    I'm a guy who like to have feeling, who like to love, and to be loved. she loves me. I know, no doubt about it, but she doesn't call me "sweet heart" or "my love" for 3 days.. I know it's kind of fleur bleue (I don't know the right translation in english) but I like this and it make me feel better. It's odd for a guy but eh, it's how I am.

    So how can I make her tell me those words, or show me a little bit more of love..? I don't want her to feel emprisonned, or being forced to say "i love you" etc too much. 1 week ago, she was like this. Exactly. And I think it's... Silly? to tell her "hey honey, why don't you call me "my love" anymore?"

    I guess it's because she is not in a great mood atm, and she misses me. but..

    anyway, I go at her house the 5th november. for 3-4 days. Paris - Marseille yayyy!
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    wow paris is amazing! what you mean is shes sort of not being as affectionate as normal? maybe she just misses you lots. Leave it for 2 days or so then just text her with a simple message, saying something like you cant wait to see her. hope this helps
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    yeah she sort of something like that. But she keep texting me every day, etc. it's not a big deal. So i try as much as i can too not be too affectionate with her, and let her be. But it's hard

    You are a girl, and i've a question for you:
    Is it normal that if she misses me too much, she does the opposite?

    I mean, if she misses me too much, she should be like "i miss you, blablabla love you blablabla" ? But you seem to say the contrary.. and my gf seems to be like that too.

    Your answers reassure me, thank you


    PS: Paris is.. Big. Lot of small alley, shops everywhere, etc. Dirty, lot of dust, but it has is charm.
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    (Original post by Jlaoxy)
    yeah she sort of something like that. But she keep texting me every day, etc. it's not a big deal. So i try as much as i can too not be too affectionate with her, and let her be. But it's hard

    You are a girl, and i've a question for you:
    Is it normal that if she misses me too much, she does the opposite?

    I mean, if she misses me too much, she should be like "i miss you, blablabla love you blablabla" ? But you seem to say the contrary.. and my gf seems to be like that too.

    Your answers reassure me, thank you


    PS: Paris is.. Big. Lot of small alley, shops everywhere, etc. Dirty, lot of dust, but it has is charm.

    Maybe she thinks that she has gone on about missing you too much, she could also think it may annoy you, despite what you think. So she could be holding back and will tell you tomorrow that she misses you. Almost like a balancing beam; too much one way, and you topple over.
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    ok, well, thanks. I'll see how things evolve, have fun
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    (Original post by Jlaoxy)
    yeah she sort of something like that. But she keep texting me every day, etc. it's not a big deal. So i try as much as i can too not be too affectionate with her, and let her be. But it's hard

    You are a girl, and i've a question for you:
    Is it normal that if she misses me too much, she does the opposite?

    I mean, if she misses me too much, she should be like "i miss you, blablabla love you blablabla" ? But you seem to say the contrary.. and my gf seems to be like that too.

    Your answers reassure me, thank you


    PS: Paris is.. Big. Lot of small alley, shops everywhere, etc. Dirty, lot of dust, but it has is charm.
    Bonjour, je suis aussi en France avec mon ami français, près de Paris
    Ton amie semble comme mon ami! Quand il semblait comme il avait peu d'affection (manque de "je t'aime" etc) c'était plus parce que je lui manquais, et ça lui peinait à trop faire confrontation avec ses sentiments vers moi quand je lui manquais autant; ce n'était pas du tout parce qu'il ne m'aimait plus. Ne t'inquiète Maintenant j'habite avec mon ami et on va se marier en 2011, donc ces choses peuvent toujours se passer très bien malgré des petits problèmes
    (Original post by Jlaoxy)
    yeah she sort of something like that. But she keep texting me every day, etc. it's not a big deal. So i try as much as i can too not be too affectionate with her, and let her be. But it's hard

    You are a girl, and i've a question for you:
    Is it normal that if she misses me too much, she does the opposite?

    I mean, if she misses me too much, she should be like "i miss you, blablabla love you blablabla" ? But you seem to say the contrary.. and my gf seems to be like that too.

    Your answers reassure me, thank you


    PS: Paris is.. Big. Lot of small alley, shops everywhere, etc. Dirty, lot of dust, but it has is charm.
    Bonjour, je suis aussi en France avec mon ami français, près de Paris
    Ton amie semble comme mon ami! Quand il semblait comme il avait peu d'affection (manque de "je t'aime" etc) c'était plus parce que je lui manquais, et ça lui peinait à trop faire confrontation avec ses sentiments vers moi quand je lui manquais autant; ce n'était pas du tout parce qu'il ne m'aimait plus. Ne t'inquiète Maintenant j'habite avec mon ami et on va se marier en 2011, donc ces choses peuvent toujours se passer très bien malgré des petits problèmes

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Hi, I'm also in France with my French fiancé, also near Paris Your girlfriend seems like my boyfriend! When it seemed that he had little affection (with a lack of I love yous etc) it was more because he missed me, and that it was too hurtful for him to confront his feelings towards me when he missed me so much; it wasn't at all because he no longer loved me. Don't worry Now I live with my boyfriend and we are due to marry in 2011, so these things can always go quite well even if you have a few small problems on the way!


    sorry for that, just wanted to practise my French :o: Translation above!
 
 
 
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