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    • #115
    #115

    Hey,

    This is abit of an odd question but here we go... does anyone else use sex to keep their boyfriend excited about the relationship?
    I'm not saying that's all my relationship is about!!!! We have all the other stuff like emotional connection and real love est est, have been together 14 months, been doing long distance for 14 months and have been best friends since we were 17 (we're now 20 in 2nd year of uni). So don't get me wrong, I don't mean I'm 'using' sex to keep him as my boyfriend or anything.

    I've just found it gets him even more excited about seeing me if I send him dirty messages and things hehe and tell him about nice underwear I've bought for his visit. I also kind of feel it helps him keep all his sexual tension focused on me rather than lusting after other girls or anything like that. It just keeps the spark there for all the times we can't be physically together.

    Does anyone else find this?
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    I'm fed up of the cycle of going home and feeling ****, and waiting to see my boyfriend again, and by the time it comes around I feel okay, then see him and have a good time, and then coming home and feeling rubbish again.

    Also, at the moment most of my friends are all coupled up and they're always going out together with each other as couples and I can't do that, and I don't particularly want to go with them either because I'll be the only one on my own *sigh*
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    I know the feeling... Just try to go out with the friends you have that are not in relationships, or invite your coupled-up friends to a girls night out. Specify that boyfriends are not invited, and just rock out with your girls! It will do both you and them good!!
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I'm fed up of the cycle of going home and feeling ****, and waiting to see my boyfriend again, and by the time it comes around I feel okay, then see him and have a good time, and then coming home and feeling rubbish again.

    Also, at the moment most of my friends are all coupled up and they're always going out together with each other as couples and I can't do that, and I don't particularly want to go with them either because I'll be the only one on my own *sigh*
    :console:

    You shouldn't feel left out because your boyfriend isn't by your side. I know the feeling, I wish I was with him every moment/day. Try hanging out with single friends or go shopping or to the cinema. Try having a good time without wishing he was there. The more you wait to see him again, the more you will miss him.

    I wish I could see my bf but I can't it takes 8 hours by flight to get there but I wish it was possible. I guess everyone has difficulties in LDR or you miss them so much.
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    I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday. I feel alright today.

    It's not like I want to be with him 24/7 and be joint at the hip, I just don't the days after I've come home or like it when I'm surrounded by other couples.

    (Original post by EvilSheep)
    I know the feeling... Just try to go out with the friends you have that are not in relationships, or invite your coupled-up friends to a girls night out. Specify that boyfriends are not invited, and just rock out with your girls! It will do both you and them good!!
    I might just do that :yep:
    • #177
    #177

    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I'm fed up of the cycle of going home and feeling ****, and waiting to see my boyfriend again, and by the time it comes around I feel okay, then see him and have a good time, and then coming home and feeling rubbish again.

    Also, at the moment most of my friends are all coupled up and they're always going out together with each other as couples and I can't do that, and I don't particularly want to go with them either because I'll be the only one on my own *sigh*
    I had this exact same feeling yesterday. My best friend has a boyfriend and they are constantly together, and all my friends have left and my boyfriend is way too far away. I will have gone six weeks by the time I see him, and then it will probably be another six weeks till he comes home because he basically told me yesterday he probably isn't going to come visit me like he had been talking about. Sometimes I feel like the only thing I ever think about or look forward to is seeing him again, and i just can't live my life like that! So I definitely know how you feel, and it sucks, but when I think about the alternative of not being together at all, I know I much prefer this... :rolleyes:
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    totally normal anon 95
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    Hey all
    I could do with some help on how to deal with my future LDR. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and love him with all my heart. We've been best friends for 3 years and spend pretty much all our free time together. In march he's leaving to join the royal navy and then September I'll hopefully be going to uni. I'm really dreading being away from him as he's the most gorgeous charming person I've ever met and I'm quite a flirty person. I know he would never want to hurt me but I'm worried that he will find being away too hard. It's not that he doesn't trust me he know's I'd never do cheat on him he's my world but he's very family orientated and hates being away from me as much as I hate being away from him. I'm scared that if he starts missing me and his family too much he'll leave the navy (which is what he's wanted since forever) to come back to us. How can I make it so that the periods he's away are bareable and easy to get through??
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    Hey peopleI am so glad I found you.My lovely boyfriend is 2000 miles away from me I am so sad.It has been like that since I am at the Uni here and he is in our native country.I know that being a student is the best time ,but I cannot really enjoy it ,because I miss him soooo much It is so difficult ,the only thing I want now is to hear from him through the internet ,I do not feel like going to parties and that kind of stuff,although I am kind of party person ,I love to have fun,but probably only when he is with me ((( And now Valentine`s Day coming and I will not be with him.I `d like to ask you to give me an advice on what surprise I can do for him from here thanks guys.I hope your relationships are going well xx
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    (Original post by sweety7o)
    Hey peopleI am so glad I found you.My lovely boyfriend is 2000 miles away from me I am so sad.It has been like that since I am at the Uni here and he is in our native country.I know that being a student is the best time ,but I cannot really enjoy it ,because I miss him soooo much It is so difficult ,the only thing I want now is to hear from him through the internet ,I do not feel like going to parties and that kind of stuff,although I am kind of party person ,I love to have fun,but probably only when he is with me ((( And now Valentine`s Day coming and I will not be with him.I `d like to ask you to give me an advice on what surprise I can do for him from here thanks guys.I hope your relationships are going well xx
    Hello there (:

    Have you both got Skype or maybe MSN? Why don't you buy each other a webcam so you can see each other while talking?
    Or what about a little package? You could bake some cookies, a Valentine's Day card, some poems, some drawings, a little teddy bear. Something like that, so that it's personal from you?
    I know how you feel about missing him so much, but you'll get through it, I know you can.
    If you want, you can come and join us in the LDR Society over on the Societies forum (:
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    (Original post by JaiméNicole)
    Hey all
    I could do with some help on how to deal with my future LDR. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and love him with all my heart. We've been best friends for 3 years and spend pretty much all our free time together. In march he's leaving to join the royal navy and then September I'll hopefully be going to uni. I'm really dreading being away from him as he's the most gorgeous charming person I've ever met and I'm quite a flirty person. I know he would never want to hurt me but I'm worried that he will find being away too hard. It's not that he doesn't trust me he know's I'd never do cheat on him he's my world but he's very family orientated and hates being away from me as much as I hate being away from him. I'm scared that if he starts missing me and his family too much he'll leave the navy (which is what he's wanted since forever) to come back to us. How can I make it so that the periods he's away are bareable and easy to get through??
    Hello there (:

    I'm not going to lie to you, to a point it'll be hard being away from your boyfriend. But it does get easier with time.
    Everyone is different on how they deal with it, but my other half (LDR as well) always wants me to do well in college, so I try and focus on doing my college work and doing well in it. I also watch a load of DVD's that make me laugh.
    Just think about what you love to do, and do it, like DVD's, or the computer, or reading.

    Feel free to join us in the LDR Society, within the " Chat Society" forums.
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    yea I know he's my world it'll e so strange i'm just worried about him throwing his career away ecause of it all. I really want to make things easier for him ut don't know how
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    (Original post by MysteryPass)
    Hello there (:

    Have you both got Skype or maybe MSN? Why don't you buy each other a webcam so you can see each other while talking?
    Or what about a little package? You could bake some cookies, a Valentine's Day card, some poems, some drawings, a little teddy bear. Something like that, so that it's personal from you?
    I know how you feel about missing him so much, but you'll get through it, I know you can.
    If you want, you can come and join us in the LDR Society over on the Societies forum (:
    Heyy Thanks for answering We both have Skype and web cams,we talk everyday,but this is killing me I do not know about these packages.Can you give me some more infoProbably there are some in te thread,but I still have not read it yet.I would definately join the society
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    (Original post by sweety7o)
    Heyy Thanks for answering We both have Skype and web cams,we talk everyday,but this is killing me I do not know about these packages.Can you give me some more infoProbably there are some in te thread,but I still have not read it yet.I would definitely join the society
    Sure! Packages to your other half can be most things. Like I haven't created a package for my fiancé yet but if I did, it would be some sort of occasion such as his birthday.
    Like some of my other ideas, teddy bears, maybe a scrapbook? Of your memories on MSN/Skype (if you's haven't met yet) or of pictures of you both (if you's have met). Chocolates, bake something like cupcakes or cookies, maybe a handmade card. Just things that you think are personal and special about your relationship.
    PM me if you'd like to talk more (:
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    I have got an enormous dilemna at the moment...
    I am in an LDR, but he lives in America and I'm living here. There's no way either of us can see each other until next summer, and it just breaks my heart because I truly love him and I wish I was there with him. Especially with all my friends who have boyfriends and they're all going out and having fun with them, and I'm stuck here without him.
    We regularly talk for 6+ hours on a daily basis on skpe/msn (so bad, but I can't get anough of him xD) and I'm moving abroad when I have finished my initial degree here (which will be when I'm 21), not just because of him though, I've been planning on doing it for a long time. He just gives me another purpose to go abroad. However, I don't want to wait until then either.

    It just makes me feel down, I don't want to wait until next summer =( The closest we could get to meeting is that I'm going to Florida this summer with the family. But I don't want to cause him any trouble, even though he's offered to meet up then.
    I haven't told the family about him, and he hasn't told his about me, even though he really wants to. I'm planning on telling them when I'm in uni.
    It's still relatively new, this relationship, but the lack of physical contact is definitely becoming difficult to get used to. But that doesn't matter, because it'll just take time getting used to (we've been together for 12 days as boyfriend/girlfriend) but we've known each other for 5 months and we've been very very close as good friends.
    He makes me so happy, I just wish I could be there with him =( Everytime I think of it, I get a genuine physical ache. I miss him so much, I wish I could see him now.

    Sorry, there was no point to this post, just a frustrated rant I guess =) It will be worth it though, I'm determined to make it to next summer and then after as well... who knows what might happen? =)
    • #189
    #189

    Guys guys, please, give me some hope, long distance relationships work right? :|

    Off to uni in a year and a bit, and it kind of came up today, and neither of us want to split up, but both of us hate the idea of separate universities!

    Can it work?

    Cheers
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys guys, please, give me some hope, long distance relationships work right? :|

    Off to uni in a year and a bit, and it kind of came up today, and neither of us want to split up, but both of us hate the idea of separate universities!

    Can it work?

    Cheers
    Yes it can work. You're going in a year, stop worrying!
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Yes it can work. You're going in a year, stop worrying!
    Anon167 - Agreed. September's a year and a half away, that is a long time in terms of relationships. Particularly around the age of 18 which I'm assuming you are.

    And please don't let your choice of uni be influenced too much by your girl/boyfriend. Fair enough take it into consideration (I think it would be impossible not to) but you have to make the choice based on more important things like the course.

    But you wanted hope. Umm I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, I'm at uni in Glasgow, he's in Liverpool. We're LD all the time (his family don't live here so it's not even like he comes back for holidays) and it's working fine. There are also people in this soc doing bigger UK distances than me and they're coping. There's also people in international LDRs, including some who are now engaged or living together. It can work, it's not going to work for everyone but you're not automatically going to break up just because you live apart.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys guys, please, give me some hope, long distance relationships work right? :|

    Off to uni in a year and a bit, and it kind of came up today, and neither of us want to split up, but both of us hate the idea of separate universities!

    Can it work?

    Cheers
    In my opinion, and I have been a similar situation, alot can change in a year. When I first got with my boyfriend he was planning his UCAS application (he was the year above) and I was honestly terrified about it- and we'd been going out a couple of months! I told him this, yet he still planned to go, yet he was considering a gap year. A few more months passed and he decided on the gap year, even though I had come around to the idea of him leaving- now I have the issue of no contact for 7 weeks while he goes to Senagal- I would have prefered university. Now we're both going to university this year, him UCLAN, me (hopefully) Liverpool which are only an hour on the train- of course, his uni is my insurance but that had nothing to do with him being there.

    Wait until you start looking at UCAS, you don't necessarily have to put your education before your relationship, but you need to put how you feel first- I feel in love with Liverpool and he has no chance of changing that!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys guys, please, give me some hope, long distance relationships work right? :|

    Off to uni in a year and a bit, and it kind of came up today, and neither of us want to split up, but both of us hate the idea of separate universities!

    Can it work?

    Cheers
    Yess it can
    we'd been together nearly a year when my bf went to uni, i was dreading it! he's a 3 hour train journey away, sept-xmas i saw him about 3 times because i work weekends and he had clubs and work at weekends & im still at school so i cant go during the week but we're still together & coming up for 16months soon.

    Also dont knock it untill you've tried to make it work, the first term is most definately the hardest. as it's all new to you both. but its a year away, you'll have been together a long time by then & please dont go to the same uni just coz he's there. you'll probably hear that one a lot if you consider the same unis even if you know he's not the reason for you wanting to go there.
 
 
 
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