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    (Original post by Angelil)
    ^^ Tell him that all the talk of marriage etc feels a bit too serious for you and that you need to relax.
    How often are you in contact?

    In any case, you shouldn't be feeling miserable about the relationship as a whole.
    We text everyday, and usually talk every 2 or 3 nights. We try to see each other every other weekend.

    I have told him this, and he's just said it doesn't matter if I don't feel the same way, but he can't change how he feels. It really makes me feel so claustrophobic.

    I feel like I just really need a break from it all, and just need to be single and independent for a while, almost just to prove to myself that I CAN be, and I'm not incapable. But I'm perfectly aware that after a break we may never be the same again.
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    (Original post by She_Bittersweet)
    I do know how you feel,ive been with my bf long distance all the time and for 4 years now.Ridiculously long!Im in the same boat,most probably i wont see him till this summer,which is well a few months away.I never knew before i had met him that missing someone can physically hurt.Just hang in there :console: Low moments come and go! Wish you all the best
    Thank you very much And the same for you too ^_^
    It'll jut work out. I just hope the lack of physical contact won't be our downfall But with what we have, I doubt that <3
    So yes, the very best of luck for you too
    4 years? Oh my days, and has all of that been in an LDR?
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    (Original post by humbugsftw)
    Thank you very much And the same for you too ^_^
    It'll jut work out. I just hope the lack of physical contact won't be our downfall But with what we have, I doubt that <3
    So yes, the very best of luck for you too
    4 years? Oh my days, and has all of that been in an LDR?
    3 yeARS and it will be one more for sure as hes going to Dubai for work and i have one more year of studies before my year abroad.Its hard,but I love him too much to let it go.When we get married all this waiting will pay off
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    (Original post by DizzyWeasel)
    We text everyday, and usually talk every 2 or 3 nights. We try to see each other every other weekend.

    I have told him this, and he's just said it doesn't matter if I don't feel the same way, but he can't change how he feels. It really makes me feel so claustrophobic.

    I feel like I just really need a break from it all, and just need to be single and independent for a while, almost just to prove to myself that I CAN be, and I'm not incapable. But I'm perfectly aware that after a break we may never be the same again.
    I wouldn't say you need to go 'on a break' but I think you definitely need to give yourself time to yourself. You're in a long distance relationship ... but you see each other quite a lot really. You're not together enough to feel truly settled but you see each other too often to feel independent or to miss him enough to see that it's worth it. I'd suggest that you go a weekend without seeing him ... or maybe two. You've clearly got a very strong relationship since you've lasted this long, I think you just need to give yourself time to miss him and then you'll hopefully remember that it's him you want.

    I felt exactly the same way as you did when my boyfriend was at uni and I was at home. I started ignoring him just to prove to myself that I didn't need him and that I could be okay on your own. I think it'd help you to do a bit of that too. Don't ignore him (that was a very very silly thing to do) but just see him less to remind yourself that you love him because of who he is, not just because you've got used to it.
    :hugs: hope you feel better soon xxx
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    Okay so I'm in a relationship right now but it's not long distance (at least not yet anyway)

    I live in Northern Ireland and my boyfriend has got offers from Queen's University, Belfast, Abertay and Edge Hill. Thing is, he has an interview for Edge Hill and he doesn't know whether he should go or not.

    I really don't want him to go away but I can't tell him that because I don't want to hold him back from a potentially great offer. ):

    I honestly haven't loved anyone more than I love him and he saved my life once (from attempted suicide) and he continues to help me with self-harm. I don't know how difficult it's going to be if he goes away to university...

    For those going through an LDR, what's it like? Has it brought you both any closer? (obviously I'm looking for the positives of it because I really don't know how I'd be able to deal with the negatives)
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    ^^ It's obviously never going to be an ideal situation to be LD, but you have to realise that for two people to be able to stay in the same place all of the time while they're studying (and then trying to find work) is increasingly more difficult in this day and age with more people going away from home to study and then not even necessarily returning to their home town to find work. So you're not the only one in this situation.

    Positives are that you become stronger as a couple and you both retain individual independence alongside that.
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    I'm already in a long distance relationship, but he only lives 2 and a half hours away so if we desperately want to see each other it's not such a bad thing. The problem is I'm now getting my offers from Uni's and when I chose my UCAS places I wasn't thinking about wanting to be with him. SO I live in London, He lives in Wiltshire- I've applied to Edinburgh, Durham, Glasgow, York and Bristol- I've been made offers from York and Bristol and I'm still waiting on the others. My FIRST choice was Durham but now with Him in the picture I'm torn over whether I should go to the Uni that's closer to him- and still VERY good- or if I should get an offer from Durham, go to my first choice and risk not being able to see him other than at holidays. It's already hard, that might kill me
    ANY Advice is appreciated!
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    (Original post by brokenangel27)
    Okay so I'm in a relationship right now but it's not long distance (at least not yet anyway)

    I live in Northern Ireland and my boyfriend has got offers from Queen's University, Belfast, Abertay and Edge Hill. Thing is, he has an interview for Edge Hill and he doesn't know whether he should go or not.

    I really don't want him to go away but I can't tell him that because I don't want to hold him back from a potentially great offer. ):

    I honestly haven't loved anyone more than I love him and he saved my life once (from attempted suicide) and he continues to help me with self-harm. I don't know how difficult it's going to be if he goes away to university...

    For those going through an LDR, what's it like? Has it brought you both any closer? (obviously I'm looking for the positives of it because I really don't know how I'd be able to deal with the negatives)
    That is actually scarily similar to my boyfriend. He's from NI and ended up going to Edge Hill (applied to Abertay too). He had a girlfriend in NI but they broke up before he went to uni, not cos of the distance though, there were loads of other reasons apparently. If he's willing to do LD and you are, there's no reason it shouldn't work.

    But then he met me so we've been in a LDR for over a year. He's been juggling uni in Liverpool, family in NI and me in Glasgow. The distance actually isn't as hard as you'd think, as long as you manage to communicate regularly. So get yourselves on 02.

    Is he by any chance doing a media course? (Just from the unis you said) Cos that makes it a lot easier, they have about 7 contact hours so visits can be slotted in. What are your plans for next year?
    • #192
    #192

    Hello,
    I just kinda wanted to talk to someone about my LDR, not sure if this is the right place to go about it though :l if not, sorry!

    The back story is, two years ago, I met a guy on holiday, and it turned out he lived ages away - I live in Essex, he lives in NI. We kept on chatting and texting, and then he fell for me. I took a little while longer because I though he was just being silly to begin with, but I fell for him too. That was about a year ago. Since then,we went away to Belgium for a weekend (paid for by me), I went to see him on his birthday and then I went up to see him for New Years. I was 18 at the end of January, and he didn't come to see me because he couldn't get time off work. Ok, i accepted that reason, but it just didn't seem right or fair. In two weeks time I'm going upto see him ( )

    He's amazing, kind and loving, but recently he's made comments about things which have unsettled me, about how he feels, and felt at the beginning of our relationship. He keeps on bringing up his serious exes (the ones he was in love with) - oh that was our song, or talking about how they really hurt him and stuff. As if I'm just the 3rd place girl, and he wishes it was one of them. I'm getting more and more jealous and paranoid that I'm not what he wants, or I'm just a little filler. It means the times I've seen him so far have been stressful and very nervous, which is not what I want to be, because I love him. (To top it off, since we went to Belgium I've gained almost a stone, yay! Grrrrr.)

    I'm finding it very difficult at the moment. Home isn't a happy place, so half of me wants to run away to him, forget about uni and just be happy and normal, and the the other half is thinking is this actually going to work? I miss him so much I'm miserable almost all the time, but I keep questioning things like, why doesn't or hasn't he ever came to see me? He told me off for not seeing him when he lived in Bristol at the begginning of our relationship - I was 16 and as much as I wanted too, and despite trying too, I couldn't - my Dad didn't know about us then, and its a pretty tricky journey. I wanted to say, well you didn't make any effort at all to see me! Ever!

    He get jealous all the time about stupid things, and keeps accusing me of lying or that I want to go out with other people. He says its just his own insecurities that make him say that, which I do believe, but its still hard.

    I want this to work, all I want is him, but I can see it faltering. I'm not incrediably sure what my question is, but I'm looking for some answers, some advice, to make it easier and happy.
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    ^^ Your worries are understandable. Have you told him everything that you've written here?
    • #192
    #192

    Everything Except for saying he doesn't make an effort to see me, though i've hinted at the subject. Weve talked somethings through, but I always lose my position and end up saying sorry! Hes very good and calming me down when I get het up too
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    Try and talk to him again; make sure you say everything that you want to and show that you really mean it. Maybe even print out what you wrote above if it's easier.
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    My boyfriend went away again today and I'm just so... down.
    He lives about three hours away by car (5 by train).

    I saw him for just over a week, after 6 weeks of not seeing him, and now he's gone again for another 6 :[

    I'm just gutted that he's gone again.
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    Hi Razor :hi: Feel free to join us in the chat thread (link's in my sig).
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    i hate LDR haha. am i the only muppet who gets upset on the train home when you've just spent time with em? xD!
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    (Original post by Amzz.Ox)
    i hate LDR haha. am i the only muppet who gets upset on the train home when you've just spent time with em? xD!
    You're not the only one! I do it all the time, I hate crying.
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    I normally do, sometimes before I've even left their house, start to feel down knowing that we're leaving eachother again.
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    That is actually scarily similar to my boyfriend. He's from NI and ended up going to Edge Hill (applied to Abertay too). He had a girlfriend in NI but they broke up before he went to uni, not cos of the distance though, there were loads of other reasons apparently. If he's willing to do LD and you are, there's no reason it shouldn't work.

    But then he met me so we've been in a LDR for over a year. He's been juggling uni in Liverpool, family in NI and me in Glasgow. The distance actually isn't as hard as you'd think, as long as you manage to communicate regularly. So get yourselves on 02.

    Is he by any chance doing a media course? (Just from the unis you said) Cos that makes it a lot easier, they have about 7 contact hours so visits can be slotted in. What are your plans for next year?
    Oh my word that is scarily similar!

    He's doing Computer Science. He's just rejected Edge Hill as he's putting Queen's as his firm and Abertay as his insurance so it's more than likely he will be staying here though I'd still like to be prepared in case he didn't get his firm. We haven't talked about a LDR but we are really close so I doubt that would break us up.

    My plans are to go to Belfast Metropolitan College to do Chemistry at A level because my school didn't offer it. And that's the plan for the year after as well. He's eventually wanting to become a teacher and I want to become a forensic scientist (or work in a laboratory somewhere first) so we'll be going where he can find a job because it's not that hard for me to get a job.

    Thank you for replying
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    (Original post by brokenangel27)
    Oh my word that is scarily similar!

    He's doing Computer Science. He's just rejected Edge Hill as he's putting Queen's as his firm and Abertay as his insurance so it's more than likely he will be staying here though I'd still like to be prepared in case he didn't get his firm. We haven't talked about a LDR but we are really close so I doubt that would break us up.

    My plans are to go to Belfast Metropolitan College to do Chemistry at A level because my school didn't offer it. And that's the plan for the year after as well. He's eventually wanting to become a teacher and I want to become a forensic scientist (or work in a laboratory somewhere first) so we'll be going where he can find a job because it's not that hard for me to get a job.

    Thank you for replying
    I'm at Belfast Metropolitan College (: Studying Media.
    I don't think you's should break up. My other half lives in England and we had talked about living together next year but I don't know what I'm doing after my National Diploma so we don't have a set date yet to be together.
    People love flying to N.I, they always say it's so green!
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    (Original post by MysteryPass)
    I'm at Belfast Metropolitan College (: Studying Media.
    I don't think you's should break up. My other half lives in England and we had talked about living together next year but I don't know what I'm doing after my National Diploma so we don't have a set date yet to be together.
    People love flying to N.I, they always say it's so green!
    Aww that's cool, small world :o: How often would you see your other half?

    Yeah, me and my boyfriend have talked about living together within the next year or two
 
 
 
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