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    You can only talk to him about it and hope that he sees your point of view. He may well change his mind anyway as having an opinion on a situation is very different from actually being in it. Even if he does break up with you because he doesn't want to try an LDR, he may well change his mind once you are actually away and realises how much he misses you If he ends the relationship because of going LD, though, and the break is permanent, then chances are you guys may not have made it anyway as many couples are broken up due to much bigger troubles than going LD and if he can't see that then...
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    yes u r right but the problem is that i know he will say that i don't love him if i want to go study so far away from him...:'( and i'm so afraid about our discussion because he is a nervous and violent person
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    If he is violent then why are you with him?
    And you know that it is untrue to say that you are going because you don't love him.

    Sorry if it seems harsh or like I'm playing devil's advocate; just trying to get an insight into the situation.
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    he is violent only when we argue or... something isn't in the way he wants it to be...
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    (Original post by jemmaelizabeth)
    Thank you so much! that's really brightened my thoughts of him going away.. Some of my friends are in the same situation as me, ie their boyfriends are in the year above us and have been together for a long time..
    I think you're definitely right by saying we'll just have to try it when it comes to it. I reaaally hope it works ! I'm glad to hear you're in a good LDR. Long may that last ;D
    Thanks again for your support! xxxx
    Aww thanks and you are very much welcome x
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    Sordna - That doesn't really sound like a healthy relationship, and it's important that you do what you want to do and don't just do what he wants you to do. Maybe you should reconsider the relationship? Or try to explain that going doesn't mean you don't love him?
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    can't sleep at night because of those thoughts i'm sure he would split up with me :'(
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    (Original post by Sordna)
    can't sleep at night because of those thoughts i'm sure he would split up with me :'(
    Sordna, if he's going to split up with you because of your degree choice, etc, then it's probably for the best anyway. Like Angelil said, if you're going to break up just because of the distance, then the chances are that you'd have broken up sometime in the future anyway. This is an amazing opportunity for you, and if you don't take it you might end up regretting your decision and growing to resent him.

    On a practical level, if you're worried he's gonna be violent, tell a friend what you're going to do so that they know where you are if you don't contact them after a certain amount of time. :yep:
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    • #211
    #211

    What do you do when you are in a LDR with someone but you can't see a future because there is no plan for either of you to move closer? We aren't at uni - just live far apart.

    There is no way I can stay in a relationship with someone forever when there is 5 hours between us. Seeing each other once a month and sometimes longer isn't enough. But I can't describe how perfect we are together. Theres no chance I could end it because of the distane but I am not sure how to cope with this situation, I just want to be with him and it is the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. What do I do?
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    Get your parents involved or something and try to work out a way where the two of you can be together
    • #220
    #220

    I'm with a new-ish girlfriend who lives in Sheffield and I live in Bristol non-term time; we both go to uni in Nottingham. I don't know how I can cope with the 170 mile gap; although we have both said we will definitely make it through the summer. Any advice on how to cope?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do you do when you are in a LDR with someone but you can't see a future because there is no plan for either of you to move closer? We aren't at uni - just live far apart.

    There is no way I can stay in a relationship with someone forever when there is 5 hours between us. Seeing each other once a month and sometimes longer isn't enough. But I can't describe how perfect we are together. Theres no chance I could end it because of the distane but I am not sure how to cope with this situation, I just want to be with him and it is the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. What do I do?
    Make a plan? A month into our relationship we'd already decided that if it worked out he'd move up to live with me when he graduated. I don't think it was too soon because it wasn't a definite commitment, it was dependent on so many factors. Now it turns out it's happening a year early because he's dropped out of uni.

    Of course you won't stay 5 hours apart forever, is there a reason why you haven't thought about moving closer? If you don't want to move straight in with each other you could look into renting separately or getting a flatshare. Even sharing a two-bedroom flat could be an option, think that's what we're going to do because we weren't really prepared to move in this soon.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm with a new-ish girlfriend who lives in Sheffield and I live in Bristol non-term time; we both go to uni in Nottingham. I don't know how I can cope with the 170 mile gap; although we have both said we will definitely make it through the summer. Any advice on how to cope?
    Phone, texts and Skype. Basically just make sure you communicate and it'll be fine. What's summer, 3/4 months? If you can manage to arrange a few visits through the summer (one a month?) it'll give you something to look forward to and keep you going. If you're both working or keeping busy that'll also help. And you know it's not going to be for long, that should help too.
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    Hi LDR people. Me and the boyfriend are awkward, met at a party in Manchester where neither of us are from. Not so bad when we are at uni - Leeds/Sheffield, cos it's an hour on the express train, but can still take 2+ to see each other, but it's worse now we're home for summer We've made a plan though and we're pretty much seeing each other once a fortnight which is managable, not as good as three out of four weekends but never mind, he's worth it.
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    (Original post by frankieumbrella)
    Hi LDR people. Me and the boyfriend are awkward, met at a party in Manchester where neither of us are from. Not so bad when we are at uni - Leeds/Sheffield, cos it's an hour on the express train, but can still take 2+ to see each other, but it's worse now we're home for summer We've made a plan though and we're pretty much seeing each other once a fortnight which is managable, not as good as three out of four weekends but never mind, he's worth it.
    Honestly, I think you've got the right idea making a plan to see each other. The boyfriend and I have been long-distance for almost eleven months now (Italy-England) and it really helped having a set point to look forward to. I'm coming back soon, so we'll only be an hour apart by car and forty minutes by train, but it's still distance, y'know? The key thing is communication (Skype is a godsend if you're missing their face, and unlimited texts have also fast become my best friend (although obviously I don't have them when I'm away...)), really, and seeing each other as regularly as you can manage. And, really, summer's not all that long, so you'll be back to a better distance before you know it. :hugs: Feel free to come and join us in the LDR chat thread, too. :yep:
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    Im going to uni in September, which is about 350 miles away from where I am now, any advice for my first LDR?
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    ^^ communicate lots, but also have lots of fun and have your own life (so that you actually have things to communicate to each other about). Balance and trust are important
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    (Original post by Angelil)
    ^^ communicate lots, but also have lots of fun and have your own life (so that you actually have things to communicate to each other about). Balance and trust are important

    thanks he's always said hes never thought he could do a LDR, so its going to be a big step for both of us
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    Well, you won't know unless you try
 
 
 
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